> http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/fashion/06push.html?em&ex=119717640...
>
> A Bundle of Joy Isn't Enough?
>
> By THOMAS VINCIGUERRA
> Published: December 6, 2007
>
> WHEN Jena Slosberg of Bedford, N.H., gave birth in March, she endured
> a labor that lasted 17 hours. But her discomfort was ultimately worth
> it, quite apart from the arrival of her daughter, Marin. In the
> recovery room, her husband, Paul, presented her with a pair of diamond
> earrings.
>
> "I was on cloud nine," Ms. Slosberg said. "It was the perfect present
> to make a frazzled, sleep-deprived, first-time mommy feel absolutely
> glamorous."
>
> She added, "I wonder what 17 hours of labor will get me next time?"
>
> In a more innocent age, new mothers generally considered their babies
> to be the greatest gift imaginable. Today, they are likely to want
> some sort of tangible bonus as well.
>
> This bonus goes by various names. Some call it the "baby mama gift."
> Others refer to it as the "baby bauble." But it's most popularly known
> as the "push present."
>
> That's "push" as in, "I the mother, having been through the wringer
> and pushed out this blessed event, hereby claim my reward." Or "push"
> as in, "I've delivered something special and now I'm pushing you, my
> husband/boyfriend, to follow suit."
>
> "It's more and more an expectation of moms these days that they
> deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting
> sick, ruining their body," said Linda Murray, executive editor of
> BabyCenter.com. "The guilt really gets piled on."
>
> A recent survey of more than 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com
> found that 38 percent of new mothers received a gift from their mate
> in connection with their child. Among pregnant mothers, 55 percent
> wanted one. About 40 percent of both groups said the baby was ample
> reward.
>
> Sandra Miller of Arlington, Mass., is not among the 40 percent.
>
> "Women can and do expect a thoughtful token of appreciation," she
> said. "It's a way to honor a mother giving her emotions, body and
> hormones over to a baby for nine months, culminating in an experience
> which, when done naturally, redefines the meaning of pain. And when
> not done naturally, it's still an act of sacrifice."
>
> Push presents seem to have taken off within the last decade,
> particularly in the last couple of years. In 2005 the Southeast-based
> jewelry chain Mayors marketed diamond earrings with the tag line, "She
> delivered your first born; now give her twins." Fortunoff, the jewelry
> and gift chain with a Fifth Avenue flagship, established a push
> present registry six months ago.
>
> But the push present -- unlike the 15-year anniversary ring -- is
> apparently not the invention of the jewelry industry looking for
> another opportunity to sell goods. No one is quite sure how the trend
> began; in practice the baubles are presented before or after the big
> day, or sometimes right in the delivery room.
>
> "They've arisen from the time cavemen brought trinkets to their
> wives," said Jim Brusilovsky of Chains-and-charms.com, a
> Philadelphia-based jewelry chain. "I haven't seen it coming from the
> industry."
>
> Michael Toback, a jewelry supplier in Manhattan's diamond district,
> traces the practice to a new posture of assertiveness by women. "You
> know, 'Honey, you wanted this child as much as I did. So I want
> this,'" he said.
>
> A more likely explanation is that men are now simply more aware of and
> sympathetic to the plight of their pregnant partners, given their
> increasing tendency to attend childbirth classes and help in the
> actual delivery. "I think husbands are more involved with the prenatal
> process," said Dr. Philippe Girerd, an obstetrician in Richmond, Va.
> "Women go through back pain, morning sickness, stress and so on. We
> just sit around and take the credit. I think a lot of 21st century
> husbands are a little more in touch with that."
>
> Certainly Dr. Girerd is. When his wife, Chris Cavan, gave birth to
> their son and daughter, he gave her a ring and a watch.
>
> "I could care less about the jewelry industry," Dr. Girerd said. "For
> me, it was acknowledging everything my wife had been through."
>
> The popularity of push presents has generated a backlash among some
> couples, who decry the implicit materialism.
>
> "This isn't the time to give a $200 piece of jewelry," said Rhonda
> Grote, president of ThinkThoughtful.com, an online gift consulting
> company in Bradenton, Fla. "I do not think that because a woman has
> had a baby she requires a Tiffany & Company item. She requires help,
> love and emotional support."
>
> Ms. Grote suggested that new fathers should instead consider
> performing domestic chores, hiring a cleaning service, or otherwise
> provide extra assistance for the new mother.
>
> Ray Mears of Grand Haven, Mich., didn't give his wife, Beth, gifts for
> any of their three children, the most recent of them in July. And
> that's fine with both of them. "It's a really bizarre and unnecessary
> thing for a woman to expect," Ms. Mears said. "For one thing, lots of
> people are giving gifts to the mom, baby and entire family. Also,
> there's a lot going on when a new baby is expected. It's just not a
> nice time for a woman to demand that her partner get creative and
> think of 'the perfect gift.'"
>
> MICHELLE ALLEN of Los Angeles originally heard about push presents
> from a friend who had received one. When she became pregnant, she
> began dropping hints. "I knew what I wanted, which is very awful," she
> admitted. "But my husband is a very romantic guy."
>
> True to his romantic nature, Eric Allen obliged his wife with a
> gemstone-studded ring for each of their two children -- Lara, born in
> July 2004, and Dashiell, in October 2006.
>
> "I wear those rings every day," Ms. Allen said. "They symbolize my
> kids. There's something about them that's even more weighty than my
> wedding band."
>
> Although jewelry is the most common push present, virtually anything
> heartfelt will suffice. Will Murphy of Haverhill, Mass., gave his
> wife, Grace, a Louis Vuitton diaper bag to mark the August arrival of
> their son, Liam. David Samson of San Francisco gave his wife, Ren