Damn those Internet archives!
AndyM wrote:
> Blame Marco for this. If you're gonna hurl dogs abuse at me at least
> snip the shite first. Thank you.
>
> ********************
>
> So it's the middle of May '05, Celtic are one game away from winning
> the Championship. Celtic fans all over the country are blissfully
> unaware of what was about to happen at Fir Park. Rangers fans all over
> the country had pretty much chucked it and were looking forward to the
> new season. The rest, as cliche says, is history.
>
> ***
>
> --- FINAL GAME OF THE SEASON - THE RUN UP ---
>
>>> Is the game going to be televised at celtic park? with
>>> title celebrations after?
>
> Colin get's cocky a full week before the world fell out from under his
> feet.
>
>>> There is only one outcome. Celtic win title. Most of us
>>> got over it the day we lost 2-1 at home. Anything else
>>> that happens is just a Brucey bonus.
>
> Dazza throws the towel in a couple of days before Celtic would...
>
>>> The league was effectively, although not mathematically,
>>> lost at Ibrox a few weeks back.
>
> ...and again...
>
>>> Contrast with Rangers - all you read about Rangers these
>>> days is the numerous players coming out and saying "I'm
>>> not going anywhere, I love the club" and Swedish "rookie
>>> of the year" players being linked with us.
>
> ...buts looks forward to a better season for Rangers in 05/06, lost
> before the arse would fall out of Rangers season...
>
>>> Get real, if Motherwell beat Celtic on Sunday, I will
>>> personally run naked around Glasgow.
>
> ...before setting up a scenario too horrific to imagine. Even Rangers
> fans were hoping for a Celtic win after this
>
>>> Now thats something that will never happen soon , not the
>>> naked bit...i mean you just being in Glasgow!!!!!
>
> Jonbhoy responds with a wee swipe at the aforementioned Norwich fan
>
>>> Their is a bit of a recipe for disaster brewing at fir
>>> park today. Let's hope not
>
> Donx gets the Sunday morning pre-match chatter off to a nice cheery
> optimistic start - for Rangers fans.
>
>>> Now Shug *DON'T * blow my belief out the water and award
>>> Well a last minute (dubious) penalty, that will cost us league. :-))
>
> Donx continutes to worry and get's it almost right.
>
>>> It doesn't matter who has been worse, Celtic are top and
>>> should go on to win this title for being better than the rest.
>
> Sme sets himself up for a fall...
>
>>> As far as your claim that the title is not down to Celtic
>>> winning at Ibrox, what a load of tosh. If Rangers had won
>>> that game then they would be in the driving seat, not
>>> Celtic, so effectively, it was the Celtic win at Ibrox
>>> which set you up for second.
>
> ...a very large fall...
>
>>> but the actual game you lost the league on, the game you
>>> could have went top and stayed there til the end, was
>>> against Celtic at Ibrox.
>
> ...one of those falls with a very big splatter at the end
>
>>> I had a dream last night that we dropped points today and
>>> lost the league. Let's hope it's as accurate as that one
>>> where i turned into a machine gun toting banana.
>
> While yours truly shares a couple of truly surreal dreams.
> Unfortunately for me, one came true.
>
>>> I dreamt last weekend that the newspaper headlines were
>>> "Celtic Blow It".
>
> Ronnie shares his own nightmares. If we'd had any sense, we'd both
> have gone to the bookies and put all our money on Rangers.
>
> ***
>
> --- POST MATCH ---
>
>>> Terry Butcher, you tactical genius!!!! I take back all I
>>> said about your hopeless team that crumbled at Ibrox last week.
>
> Dazza has a footballing revelation as he realises that maybe Terry
> Butchers team aren't as crap as he first thought.
>
>>> I fear now that IF MON goes then it may be a few years
>>> before we win the title again.
>
> CB60 retreats back into his pessimissm and makes his first crap close
> season prediction.
>
>>> I wouldn't worry too much. You won't be in it [Champions League] for long.
>
> Yethob sticks the boot into Rangers fans, as discussion turns to
> Champions Leagues seedings, only a couple of months before Celtic
> humiliated themselves in the same competition, and Rangers became the
> first scottish club to make it past the group stage.
>
>>> I cannie even find a sharp knife for my wrists today ,
>>> ended up giving myself a nasty burn with one of those kfc
>>> plastic ones
>
> While Jonbhoy shows signs of taking Celtic's final day collapse badly.
>
>>> Rangers have semi rebuilt - we have the spine of a
>>> potentially great team that could do things in Europe
>
> Never let it be said that Dazza let the league victory go to his head.
>
>>> Buffel is looking like an excellent signing, he reminds
>>> me alot of Gazza, without the smell of drink.
>
> Allan Elder praises Buffel.
>
>>> Still laughing like fuck at cunts like you breaking the
>>> rosary beads as wee McDonlad scored hiscracker
>>> ............funny as fuck.
>
> Ross greets Celtics final day collapse with his usual subtlety
>
> ***
>
> --- HERE'S GORDON! ---
>
> News of Martin O'Neil leaving to be replaced by Gordon Strachan
> finally reaches newsgroup land, stirring up the usual recriminations,
> arguments, gutter point scoring (is that possible?),etc.
>
> ***
>
>>> Ross, does the fact that Strachan is going to be Celtic
>>> boss put you in a dilemma? You know how you suck hun cock
>>> because of Eck ( or were you really bitch slapped by a
>>> hun? ). Well, with Strachan going to be Celtic boss, will
>>> you revert back to sucking tim cock like you used too?
>
> Paddy seeks some clarification from Ross.
>
>>> Thank you for the quite appalling mental images you have
>>> installed in my brain.
>
> Danny types what the rest of us are thinking
>
>>> You will know all about blowing things, after all didnt
>>> you blow something last week ? (still laughing !)
>
> While Ross goes for the more traditional footballing gerritrightupye!
>
>>> I think Strachan will do it for us domestically but not
>>> sure if he has it for Europe.
>
> CB60 greets news of Martin O'Neils departure, and Strachans imminent
> arrivial with a surprisingly accurate prediction
>
>>> I'm a fan of his and reckon that Celtic could be his time.
>
> Mikey Pee makes one those predictions that turns out to be gruesomely
> right for him.
>
>>> Don't care - if he is the new boss, I really believe that
>>> he will take Celtic places.
>
> Studs welcomes news of Strachan joining up with a fairly accurate
> prediction. The only place Strachan didn't take us was into Europe
> (give or take a sideshow in Bratislava)
>
>>> Fucking Gordon Strachan, thats all we need. Another
>>> moment of great insight by the board.
>
> Archangel goes for the more traditional "What the Fuck" celtic
> managerial appointment response
>
>>> My major worry is that next season, with little money to
>>> spend and a squad that's creaking and Strachan at the
>>> helm that we'll be double figures behind
>
> Andybhoy joins Archangel in writing off the 05/06 season before 04/05
> has ended.
>
>>> I agree (although i like Strachan as a manager).
>
> As does yours truly. The shame...
>
>>> This was I think the last chance [to win the league] for a good few years.
>
> Jason joins in as despondency overtakes the celtic NG.
>
>>> I'd probably take roy keane as player manager but I can't
>>> seem him wanting to leave Utd unless Fergie leaves.
>
> AndyBhoy again, a few short months before Keane departs Old Trafford
> in acromomonius circumstances
>
>>> we need a big name manager like Le Guen
>
> Mick argues against Strachan taking over at Celtic, and throws his own
> preference into the ring
>
>>> Seriously, I really believe that Strachan would take
>>> Celtic to new levels. I haven't always liked him but I
>>> would be very confident with him in the job.
>
> Studs continues to defy public opinion (and NG tradition of making
> honking predictions), although definition of "new levels" is dependent
> on whether you are discussing domestic or european football
>
>>> As for Strachan. More than happy if he takes it.
>>> Our very own Mourinho in the way he talks to the press.
>
> Jason joins in talking up Strachan and compares him to the footballing
> messiah of press conferences.
>
>>> Hardly a master European tactician in the making is he?
>
> Dazza unwittingly hits a target a full 2 months before strachan would
> prove him right in Bratislava...
>
>>> Sorry, I think Strachans the wrong man for you lot.
>
> ...Before resuming normal service with his predictions
>
>>> Unlike Eck, who has presided over the worst-ever
>>> performance of a Scottish team in Europe
>
> Studs, completely unaware of what lay ahead for Celtic in Europe
>
>>> Personally, my vote would be for Le Guen. The board
>>> should at least make an attempt to grab him while he's available.
>
> Yours truly spots a potential managerial target to replace MON.
>
>>> Absolutely, if we could get Le Guen or Hiddink I would be delighted
>
> ZB joins in the "Le Guen for Celtic" crusade
>
>>> Like Studs, i just have a feeling he'd [Strachan] be a good manager for us
>
> Yours truly shows his predictive prowess for all to see
>
>>> I think the appointment of Strachan is a good move.
>
> Colin jumps on the pro-Strachan bandwagon.
>
>>> I read somewhere that Strachan is a fan of Hartson. I
>>> really hope to fuck this isn't true cos I don't want to
>>> see the fat lazy bassa play another match for Celtic
>>> after this season.
>
> JohnE cuts through all the "is he a good manager or tactician" debate
> and homes in on the real issues with Celtic's new boss.
>
>>> I don't see the basis of your optimism. I appreciate that
>>> he talks sensibily about football - but so does my next
>>> door neighbour.
>
> Bobby questions sme's faith in Strachan and unwittingly reveals that
> he doesn't live next door to Dazza
>
>>> I doubt he'll do much in his first season in Europe.
>
> Sme tempers his praise of Strachans appointment with a rather
> prophetic warning
>
>>> I wonder if the fans will accept a poor first
>>> season in Europe?
>
> ZB didn't have to wait long to find out
>
> ***
>
>>> Says Dazza. You must remember Dazza - perhaps you didn't
>>> recognise him without the FUA.
>
> Studs has a wee swipe at Dazza.
>
> ***
>
>>> I'd love to see him play for the Gers, I think he'd be a
>>> perfect replacement for Lovenkrands.
>
> Allan Elder praises Derek Riordan a full 12 months before he signs on
> at Celtic Park.
>
>>> Best striker in the league by some distance
>
> Ross joins in. I wonder if he's still the best striker in the league
> by some distance now that he plays for the hoops.
>
> ***
>
>>> Rangers supporters are a different "class" of people.
>>> Like me, most of them have jobs, family etc that takes
>>> precedent over the club. Hence Rangers will sell less
>>> season tickets than Celtic.
>
> Dazza comes up with a novel explanation for Rangers failing to sell
> all their season tickets
>
>>> Class ? Community service is not a job,your alledged wife
>>> is always next door and two hamsters are not children
>
> Which Jonbhoy shoots down in flames
>
> ***
>
>>> why I chose this *The Outsider.looking.in@whatyourdoing*
>>> for exactly what it says, I will be on the outside
>>> watching what you and your friends are doing.
>
> Jim explains the reasoning behind his new NG name, and gives a
> frightening insight into his mind
>
> ***
>
>>> Typical Rangers fan, uneducated can't spell, 'fell your pain'?
>
> CB60 attacks Jim's grasp of the English language in his own
> grammatically mangled way.
>
>>> Are you kidding? Jim's a potential Nobel prize winner, compared to you.
>
> Something which is immediately jumped upon by Andy Sharp
>
> ***
>
>>> Quite - a gem in an otherwise blemished record of being a cunt.
>
> Danny passes comment on Craig Bellamy taking the time out to visit an
> injured Barry Ferguson.
>
> ***
>
>>> Anyone heard...rumours that Celtic are set to resign from
>>> the SPL in preparation for a move down to the EPL?
>
> Yours truly finally caves in and starts throwing random "heard from a
> guy who knows a window cleaners sisters cats vets tennis partner"
> rumours into the Groups
>
> ***
>
>>> There's no way I could ever be considered as stupid as
>>> someone who names themselves as part of a loaf of bread.
>
> Guig compares his intelligence against that of Jim/The Outsider
>
> ***
>
>>> Yeah I reckon - as I've said for a while - he'll get
>>> approximately £15M to spend.
>
> JohnE makes another disasterous prediction of the post season as the
> guessing games begin as to how much the new Celtic manager will have
> to replace his team of aging diddies with.
>
>>> Lets look at the facts: He was unemployed,He was
>>> available, There was no compensation to pay. he,
>>> apparently, does go asking for money for new players. So
>>> from this Celtic went for the cheap option rather than
>>> the best.
>
> While CelticBhoy60 makes his first close season whinge about
> Strachan's appointment
>
>>> Who would you prefer Riordan or Bellemy?
>
> before following it up with a remarkably silly question.
>
> ***
>
> --- THE SEAN MALONEY EXPERIENCE ---
>
>>> Ship out Maloney and let the conveyor belt provide his replacement.
>
> DonX (and Colin McKechnie) wants the Parkhead clearout started with a
> player who would come within an inch of winning player of the year.
>
>>> Maloney, Maybe we could loan him out for a season to get
>>> some first team football I don't think he will get it at Celtic next season.
>
> CB60 offers his own Maloney solution, and makes his own first
> disasterous prediction of the season.
>
>>> I don't think Maloney will ever be good enough to feature
>>> regularly for Celtic. Unless our standards drop
>>> dramatically and we're consistently 10 times more shite
>>> than we have ever been this past season. Is he even good
>>> enough as backup for our strikers? Good enough for
>>> youth/reserves but not 1st team.
>
> Stevie joins in the Maloney bashing...
>
>>> One of his main problems is that he's 2ft 7 and built
>>> like the gable end of a fiver so is really easily pushed
>>> off the ball.
>
> ...and offers his own unique views on why the wee man will never make
> it.
>
>>> Maloney is another one not good enough.
>
> While JohnE just gets straight to the point
>
> ***
>
> --- DAZZA LOVES JIM ---
>
>>> Its a tim thing being bitter, honestly you should have
>>> been destroyed at birth.
>
> Judge Dredd (aka Jim) unwittingly reveals himself to be a tim.
>
>>> *gives Judge a high five* Good one!
>
> And gains instant support from Dazza
>
>>> And a thousand Rangers supporters cringed as they'd never cringed before.
>
> While Ronnie just sums up what the rest of us were thinking
>
>>> Read my post again. Try and use a wee bit of savvy when
>>> you interpret our posts, especially those posts written
>>> by such guys as me and Jim - we are the Lennon &
>>> McCartney of Usenet - you read the posts for a few times
>>> and you just dont have a clue what were on about, but
>>> when you start reading between the lines, you just cant
>>>help lovin us........
>
> Dazza once again. Don't ask. I have no idea either. This is a
> contender for quote of the season.
>
>>> The double standards of this newsgroup extend out into
>>> the media. Maybe we can change it Jim, who knows.
>
> Dazza to Jim (again). And yes, he was being serious. The newsgroup
> hasn't seen a love-fest like this since Birdinho and Big George were
> spotted gazing adoringly at each others posts back in 2000.
>
>>> sounds like a two man bigot crusade, bringing bigotry to
>>> the people(regardless of what society thinks)- you go girls
>
> Johnnybhoy spots the developing bond.
>
>>>.....said Dazza, as he gazed longingly into Jim's eyes.....
>
> As does Paddy
>
>>> good one, seems to be a mutual appreciation society going
>>> on can you feel the love in the room bit of the Frodo
>>> Samwise Gamgee about them
>
> And Johnnybhoy again
>
>>> is that bigotry? is that against the law?, it is
>>> distasteful- sick even but if Murray were to take the
>>> poster to court over it he wouldn't have a leg to stand on
>
> Johnnybhoy shows he buys his jokes from the same gutter as Donald
> Findlay, as David Murray's disability makes an appearance on the
> thread
>
> ***
>
>>> Don't post binary attachments to non-binary newsgroups ya pie!
>
> Guig netcops a binary poster with a much underused insult
>
> **
>
>>> Now you and yer pals stop singling people out on here for
>>> abuse and mockery.
>
> Dazza gets on his high horse over abuse and mockery shortly before
> changing his usenet posting name to Chesney Strachan
> and...well...mocking small ginger haired people.
>
> ***
>
>>> Anway, how do you single cell organisms manage to type,
>>> that's always puzzled me?
>
> Ronnie assigns Jim a place in the evolutionary ladder and manages a
> wee insult at the same time as a thread about Prso goes down that well
> worn route.
>
> ***
>
>>> It could be 520 years for all I care, makes no difference
>>> to what happens now and Rangers are the club at the
>>> forefront of battling bigotry.
>
> Dazza tries manfully to deflect attention away from the news that
> Rangers have removed Eggs Benedict from the Ibrox menu due to it
> sounding too much like the new Popes name. His comments came a full 9
> months before UEFA investigate Rangers for...well...bigotry.
>
> ***
>
>>> BB (Big Brother) is a show for people with the intellect
>>> to understand the behaviour between a group of adults.
>>> Its far too grown up for you. Plus its past your bedtime.
>
> Dazza fails to grasp the concept of reality TV.
>
> ***
>
>>> I bet any money Lovenkrands signs for £250,000, plays a
>>> good season and is hailed bargain of the season.
>
> The Gaffer makes another disasterous prediction, as talk of a £1/4M
> Portsmouth swoop for the new(ish) Brian Laudrup runs amok in one wee
> 11 post thread
>
> ***
>
>>> We all know that you are a dyed in the wool, irrational,
>>> foaming at the mouth bigot, who will not, or cannot,
>>> comprehend that opinions that differ from his have any
>>> validity. Now go crawl back under your rock.
>
> Oso Bear gets a handle on Jim
>
> ***
>
>>> Heard from a source today ( which has been pretty acurate
>>> in the past) that it's pretty much a done deal to bring
>>> him [James McFadden] to Ibrox in the summer as a replacement for
>>> Lovenkrands.
>
> The Sheriff gets in the first "I know a guy who knows a guy" post of
> the close season, and unwittingly reveals that the guy he knows is
> OFT.
>
> ***
>
>>> Also felt sorry for the attackers on the bench, they must
>>> be wondering how the hell Miller gets a game.
>
> du The husker gets his first Kenny Miller is crap post in, a full 7
> months before Celtic announce they've signed him on a Bosman.
>
> ***
>
>>> Keep that link handy Jim, we may need it during the coming
>>> months when Rangers dominance comes to a fore, you know
>>> what the Celtic fans are like. Rangers string a few wins
>>> together and suddenly were all nazis and racists and
>>> hackers.
>
> The Dazza and Jim love fest continues as Scotlands #1 Norwich fan
> shows signs that watching a team in Green and yellow might be making
> him paranoid too. Fortunately for Dazza, Rangers saved him from the
> trauma of being labelled a racist nazi hacker by failing to bring
> their dominance to the fore.
>
> ***
>
>>> goes to show you as long as you have money and are famous
>>> you can get away with anything. once a nonce, always a
>>> nonce. jacko=peado scum
>
> Wim (was this Will?) shows his appreciation of the American judicial
> system, as word comes through that Michael Jackson has been found not
> guilty of Child Molestation charges.
>
> ***
>
>>> PRICK.AWAY and Crawl back under your Republican rock.
>
> Jim reaches critical mass on his quest for meltdown, as he and
> HoopsBhoy get into an online scuffle over a tedious 0-0 draw between
> Scotland and Belarus.
>
>>> Still get nightmares about your time in the army jim? Pity
>>> the Provys didn't sort you out :-(
>
> While HoopsBhoy proves that whether his rock is republican or not, he
> still crawls under one each night.
>
>>> Donald Fudley is a parasite and I hope cancer is the cure
>>> for him. I would love to see him dead.
>
>>>SCUM.
>
> Wim rises to the Hoopsbhoy challenge as a new thread about Donald
> Findlay telling innapropriate jokes kicks in. Whether he was calling
> Findlay SCUM, or was signing of his post as the SCUM he is remains
> open to debate.
>
> ***
>
>>> Keep the faith lads! Wee Gordon is dead funny sitting on
>>> the couch on MOD and umm...seems to know loads about
>>> football! I am sure you will be fine...bwahahaha!
>
> Von Heler finally gets something right about football. We were fine.
>
> ***
>
>>> 26 years old, great attitude, leads by example, loyal and
>>> by far Scotland's best midfielder.... IMO Petrov is the man
>>> to taken over from McNamara as our captain.
>
> JohnE praises Stan Petrov to the hilt 10 months before attitude and
> loyalty went out the window....
>
>>> I mean surely we can get a better left-back than Jackie
>>> McNamara...
>
> ...while still being blissfully ignorant of the horror that was Mo
> Camara
>
> ***
>
>>> Nothing's changed lads. A board with no ambition, unwilling
>>> to spend, and a cheapo comedian manager. Enjoy next season!
>
> Von Helers good wishes were well received by the Celtic NG, and we
> should all remember to thank him, as we embark on another Champions
> League adventure as Scottish Champions.
>
> ***
>
>>> Celtic are currently falling apart at the seams, losing
>>> their captain and possibly most important link, plus
>>> seemingly re-signing Lennon, possibly losing Balde, etc
>>> etc.
>
> Danny begins to get excited about the new season as he floats the idea
> of Rangers stealing Craig Bellamy from Celtic...
>
>>> You've lost 2 important players [McNamara and Douglas] and
>>> Momo Sylla recently. You've also said bye bye to Henchoz.
>>> Then there's the potential loss of Balde and
>>> Valgaeren...That's got to be troubling.
>
> ...Before failing to spot that losing the aforementioned players
> wasn't in the slightest bit worrying to 99%% of Celtic fans. We
> rejoiced. Well, except for Jackie Mac...
>
>>> Not the SPL title, no.
>
> ...and finishing up with a witty response to Archangels claim that no
> matter what Celtic do, they can't win.
>
>>> No doubt someone will archive this.
>
> I did, Ronnie.
>
> ***
>
>>> Not Bellamy, that's for sure. The guy is a weasel-faced
>>> arse and so overrated. We've got Prso and Novo, and
>>> underrated Steven Thompson who're good enough.
>
> The Gaffer joins Danny in feeling confident for the new season...
>
>>> I'd rather have Novo or Prso than Bellamy. They've got good
>>> attitudes and love Rangers. For the money Bellamy makes he
>>> should at least be expected to play on the left-wing when
>>> you ask him to.
>
> ...Before displaying his complete lack of footballing knowledge for
> all to see.
>
> ***
>
>>> I seen him play once he is an excellent player, this is
>>> brilliant news!!!
>
> Andy hails the arrival of Brahim Hemdani at Ibrox. Over the next 10
> months he'd manage to double the number of times he'd see the
> ex-marseille man play.
>
> ***
>
>>> Slovakian champions Katia or Artmedia of Kazakhstan.
>>> Shouldn't be any problems with either side, even if they
>>> are in the case of Artmedia, well into their season. If
>>> they fail to beat either team over two legs........well,
>>> come on.
>
> Duncan sets himself for a fall as news of the Champions League draw
> makes its way onto the NG's.
>
> ***
>
>>> Once again no ambition, if he was costing £5m would they be
>>> quick at going after him, lets face it Strachan and the
>>> Board are idiots.
>
> Wim jumps the gun as news of Celtic's interest in Southampton defender
> Claus Lundekvam leaks out
>
> ***
>
>>> Wouldn't be so bad if we could sell Hartson for £20m
>
> Stevie bemoans Celtics lack of transfer funds and shows the kind of
> optimism that is usually the domain of Rangers fans going into a new
> season.
>
>>> Unless they start selling footballers by the pound that is
>>> exremely unlikely.
>
> And is instantly shot down by Angof
>
> ***
>
>>> Zurawski, Bellamy and Aliadiere up front for Celtic next
>>> season? Yes please!
>
> One out of three for JohnE
>
> ***
>
>>> I'd be happy just to get to the group stage and then see
>>> what happens. Anything after that's a bonus.
>
> Stevie sets himself up for dissappointment as discussions turn to how
> Celtic's new signings will impact on the CL
>
> ***
>
>>> Reminds me of Mladenovic...
>
> Danny, on hearing the news that Celtic have finally captured the
> signature of Zurawski. He was right too...if you forget about their
> different nationalities, positions, skill, number of appearances or
> goals and the impact they each had in Scotland. Bang on Danny.
>
>>> I hope he is a half as good [as Shevchenko] but dont forget
>>> his record is similar to one Mr Brattback.
>
> Colin McKechnie greets news of Zurawski signing with a CB60-esque
> pronouncement
>
> ***
