Blame Marco for this. If you're gonna hurl dogs abuse at me at least
snip the shite first. Thank you.
********************
So it's the middle of May '05, Celtic are one game away from winning
the Championship. Celtic fans all over the country are blissfully
unaware of what was about to happen at Fir Park. Rangers fans all over
the country had pretty much chucked it and were looking forward to the
new season. The rest, as cliche says, is history.
***
--- FINAL GAME OF THE SEASON - THE RUN UP ---
>> Is the game going to be televised at celtic park? with
>> title celebrations after?
Colin get's cocky a full week before the world fell out from under his
feet.
>> There is only one outcome. Celtic win title. Most of us
>> got over it the day we lost 2-1 at home. Anything else
>> that happens is just a Brucey bonus.
Dazza throws the towel in a couple of days before Celtic would...
>> The league was effectively, although not mathematically,
>> lost at Ibrox a few weeks back.
...and again...
>> Contrast with Rangers - all you read about Rangers these
>> days is the numerous players coming out and saying "I'm
>> not going anywhere, I love the club" and Swedish "rookie
>> of the year" players being linked with us.
...buts looks forward to a better season for Rangers in 05/06, lost
before the arse would fall out of Rangers season...
>> Get real, if Motherwell beat Celtic on Sunday, I will
>> personally run naked around Glasgow.
...before setting up a scenario too horrific to imagine. Even Rangers
fans were hoping for a Celtic win after this
>> Now thats something that will never happen soon , not the
>> naked bit...i mean you just being in Glasgow!!!!!
Jonbhoy responds with a wee swipe at the aforementioned Norwich fan
>> Their is a bit of a recipe for disaster brewing at fir
>> park today. Let's hope not
Donx gets the Sunday morning pre-match chatter off to a nice cheery
optimistic start - for Rangers fans.
>> Now Shug *DON'T * blow my belief out the water and award
>> Well a last minute (dubious) penalty, that will cost us league. :-))
Donx continutes to worry and get's it almost right.
>> It doesn't matter who has been worse, Celtic are top and
>> should go on to win this title for being better than the rest.
Sme sets himself up for a fall...
>> As far as your claim that the title is not down to Celtic
>> winning at Ibrox, what a load of tosh. If Rangers had won
>> that game then they would be in the driving seat, not
>> Celtic, so effectively, it was the Celtic win at Ibrox
>> which set you up for second.
...a very large fall...
>> but the actual game you lost the league on, the game you
>> could have went top and stayed there til the end, was
>> against Celtic at Ibrox.
...one of those falls with a very big splatter at the end
>> I had a dream last night that we dropped points today and
>> lost the league. Let's hope it's as accurate as that one
>> where i turned into a machine gun toting banana.
While yours truly shares a couple of truly surreal dreams.
Unfortunately for me, one came true.
>> I dreamt last weekend that the newspaper headlines were
>> "Celtic Blow It".
Ronnie shares his own nightmares. If we'd had any sense, we'd both
have gone to the bookies and put all our money on Rangers.
***
--- POST MATCH ---
>> Terry Butcher, you tactical genius!!!! I take back all I
>> said about your hopeless team that crumbled at Ibrox last week.
Dazza has a footballing revelation as he realises that maybe Terry
Butchers team aren't as crap as he first thought.
>> I fear now that IF MON goes then it may be a few years
>> before we win the title again.
CB60 retreats back into his pessimissm and makes his first crap close
season prediction.
>> I wouldn't worry too much. You won't be in it [Champions League] for long.
Yethob sticks the boot into Rangers fans, as discussion turns to
Champions Leagues seedings, only a couple of months before Celtic
humiliated themselves in the same competition, and Rangers became the
first scottish club to make it past the group stage.
>> I cannie even find a sharp knife for my wrists today ,
>> ended up giving myself a nasty burn with one of those kfc
>> plastic ones
While Jonbhoy shows signs of taking Celtic's final day collapse badly.
>> Rangers have semi rebuilt - we have the spine of a
>> potentially great team that could do things in Europe
Never let it be said that Dazza let the league victory go to his head.
>> Buffel is looking like an excellent signing, he reminds
>> me alot of Gazza, without the smell of drink.
Allan Elder praises Buffel.
>> Still laughing like fuck at cunts like you breaking the
>> rosary beads as wee McDonlad scored hiscracker
>> ............funny as fuck.
Ross greets Celtics final day collapse with his usual subtlety
***
--- HERE'S GORDON! ---
News of Martin O'Neil leaving to be replaced by Gordon Strachan
finally reaches newsgroup land, stirring up the usual recriminations,
arguments, gutter point scoring (is that possible?),etc.
***
>> Ross, does the fact that Strachan is going to be Celtic
>> boss put you in a dilemma? You know how you suck hun cock
>> because of Eck ( or were you really bitch slapped by a
>> hun? ). Well, with Strachan going to be Celtic boss, will
>> you revert back to sucking tim cock like you used too?
Paddy seeks some clarification from Ross.
>> Thank you for the quite appalling mental images you have
>> installed in my brain.
Danny types what the rest of us are thinking
>> You will know all about blowing things, after all didnt
>> you blow something last week ? (still laughing !)
While Ross goes for the more traditional footballing gerritrightupye!
>> I think Strachan will do it for us domestically but not
>> sure if he has it for Europe.
CB60 greets news of Martin O'Neils departure, and Strachans imminent
arrivial with a surprisingly accurate prediction
>> I'm a fan of his and reckon that Celtic could be his time.
Mikey Pee makes one those predictions that turns out to be gruesomely
right for him.
>> Don't care - if he is the new boss, I really believe that
>> he will take Celtic places.
Studs welcomes news of Strachan joining up with a fairly accurate
prediction. The only place Strachan didn't take us was into Europe
(give or take a sideshow in Bratislava)
>> Fucking Gordon Strachan, thats all we need. Another
>> moment of great insight by the board.
Archangel goes for the more traditional "What the Fuck" celtic
managerial appointment response
>> My major worry is that next season, with little money to
>> spend and a squad that's creaking and Strachan at the
>> helm that we'll be double figures behind
Andybhoy joins Archangel in writing off the 05/06 season before 04/05
has ended.
>> I agree (although i like Strachan as a manager).
As does yours truly. The shame...
>> This was I think the last chance [to win the league] for a good few years.
Jason joins in as despondency overtakes the celtic NG.
>> I'd probably take roy keane as player manager but I can't
>> seem him wanting to leave Utd unless Fergie leaves.
AndyBhoy again, a few short months before Keane departs Old Trafford
in acromomonius circumstances
>> we need a big name manager like Le Guen
Mick argues against Strachan taking over at Celtic, and throws his own
preference into the ring
>> Seriously, I really believe that Strachan would take
>> Celtic to new levels. I haven't always liked him but I
>> would be very confident with him in the job.
Studs continues to defy public opinion (and NG tradition of making
honking predictions), although definition of "new levels" is dependent
on whether you are discussing domestic or european football
>> As for Strachan. More than happy if he takes it.
>> Our very own Mourinho in the way he talks to the press.
Jason joins in talking up Strachan and compares him to the footballing
messiah of press conferences.
>> Hardly a master European tactician in the making is he?
Dazza unwittingly hits a target a full 2 months before strachan would
prove him right in Bratislava...
>> Sorry, I think Strachans the wrong man for you lot.
...Before resuming normal service with his predictions
>> Unlike Eck, who has presided over the worst-ever
>> performance of a Scottish team in Europe
Studs, completely unaware of what lay ahead for Celtic in Europe
>> Personally, my vote would be for Le Guen. The board
>> should at least make an attempt to grab him while he's available.
Yours truly spots a potential managerial target to replace MON.
>> Absolutely, if we could get Le Guen or Hiddink I would be delighted
ZB joins in the "Le Guen for Celtic" crusade
>> Like Studs, i just have a feeling he'd [Strachan] be a good manager for us
Yours truly shows his predictive prowess for all to see
>> I think the appointment of Strachan is a good move.
Colin jumps on the pro-Strachan bandwagon.
>> I read somewhere that Strachan is a fan of Hartson. I
>> really hope to fuck this isn't true cos I don't want to
>> see the fat lazy bassa play another match for Celtic
>> after this season.
JohnE cuts through all the "is he a good manager or tactician" debate
and homes in on the real issues with Celtic's new boss.
>> I don't see the basis of your optimism. I appreciate that
>> he talks sensibily about football - but so does my next
>> door neighbour.
Bobby questions sme's faith in Strachan and unwittingly reveals that
he doesn't live next door to Dazza
>> I doubt he'll do much in his first season in Europe.
Sme tempers his praise of Strachans appointment with a rather
prophetic warning
>> I wonder if the fans will accept a poor first
>> season in Europe?
ZB didn't have to wait long to find out
***
>> Says Dazza. You must remember Dazza - perhaps you didn't
>> recognise him without the FUA.
Studs has a wee swipe at Dazza.
***
>> I'd love to see him play for the Gers, I think he'd be a
>> perfect replacement for Lovenkrands.
Allan Elder praises Derek Riordan a full 12 months before he signs on
at Celtic Park.
>> Best striker in the league by some distance
Ross joins in. I wonder if he's still the best striker in the league
by some distance now that he plays for the hoops.
***
>> Rangers supporters are a different "class" of people.
>> Like me, most of them have jobs, family etc that takes
>> precedent over the club. Hence Rangers will sell less
>> season tickets than Celtic.
Dazza comes up with a novel explanation for Rangers failing to sell
all their season tickets
>> Class ? Community service is not a job,your alledged wife
>> is always next door and two hamsters are not children
Which Jonbhoy shoots down in flames
***
>> why I chose this *The Outsider.looking.in@whatyourdoing*
>> for exactly what it says, I will be on the outside
>> watching what you and your friends are doing.
Jim explains the reasoning behind his new NG name, and gives a
frightening insight into his mind
***
>> Typical Rangers fan, uneducated can't spell, 'fell your pain'?
CB60 attacks Jim's grasp of the English language in his own
grammatically mangled way.
>> Are you kidding? Jim's a potential Nobel prize winner, compared to you.
Something which is immediately jumped upon by Andy Sharp
***
>> Quite - a gem in an otherwise blemished record of being a cunt.
Danny passes comment on Craig Bellamy taking the time out to visit an
injured Barry Ferguson.
***
>> Anyone heard...rumours that Celtic are set to resign from
>> the SPL in preparation for a move down to the EPL?
Yours truly finally caves in and starts throwing random "heard from a
guy who knows a window cleaners sisters cats vets tennis partner"
rumours into the Groups
***
>> There's no way I could ever be considered as stupid as
>> someone who names themselves as part of a loaf of bread.
Guig compares his intelligence against that of Jim/The Outsider
***
>> Yeah I reckon - as I've said for a while - he'll get
>> approximately £15M to spend.
JohnE makes another disasterous prediction of the post season as the
guessing games begin as to how much the new Celtic manager will have
to replace his team of aging diddies with.
>> Lets look at the facts: He was unemployed,He was
>> available, There was no compensation to pay. he,
>> apparently, does go asking for money for new players. So
>> from this Celtic went for the cheap option rather than
>> the best.
While CelticBhoy60 makes his first close season whinge about
Strachan's appointment
>> Who would you prefer Riordan or Bellemy?
before following it up with a remarkably silly question.
***
--- THE SEAN MALONEY EXPERIENCE ---
>> Ship out Maloney and let the conveyor belt provide his replacement.
DonX (and Colin McKechnie) wants the Parkhead clearout started with a
player who would come within an inch of winning player of the year.
>> Maloney, Maybe we could loan him out for a season to get
>> some first team football I don't think he will get it at Celtic next season.
CB60 offers his own Maloney solution, and makes his own first
disasterous prediction of the season.
>> I don't think Maloney will ever be good enough to feature
>> regularly for Celtic. Unless our standards drop
>> dramatically and we're consistently 10 times more shite
>> than we have ever been this past season. Is he even good
>> enough as backup for our strikers? Good enough for
>> youth/reserves but not 1st team.
Stevie joins in the Maloney bashing...
>> One of his main problems is that he's 2ft 7 and built
>> like the gable end of a fiver so is really easily pushed
>> off the ball.
...and offers his own unique views on why the wee man will never make
it.
>> Maloney is another one not good enough.
While JohnE just gets straight to the point
***
--- DAZZA LOVES JIM ---
>> Its a tim thing being bitter, honestly you should have
>> been destroyed at birth.
Judge Dredd (aka Jim) unwittingly reveals himself to be a tim.
>> *gives Judge a high five* Good one!
And gains instant support from Dazza
>> And a thousand Rangers supporters cringed as they'd never cringed before.
While Ronnie just sums up what the rest of us were thinking
>> Read my post again. Try and use a wee bit of savvy when
>> you interpret our posts, especially those posts written
>> by such guys as me and Jim - we are the Lennon &
>> McCartney of Usenet - you read the posts for a few times
>> and you just dont have a clue what were on about, but
>> when you start reading between the lines, you just cant
>>help lovin us........
Dazza once again. Don't ask. I have no idea either. This is a
contender for quote of the season.
>> The double standards of this newsgroup extend out into
>> the media. Maybe we can change it Jim, who knows.
Dazza to Jim (again). And yes, he was being serious. The newsgroup
hasn't seen a love-fest like this since Birdinho and Big George were
spotted gazing adoringly at each others posts back in 2000.
>> sounds like a two man bigot crusade, bringing bigotry to
>> the people(regardless of what society thinks)- you go girls
Johnnybhoy spots the developing bond.
>>.....said Dazza, as he gazed longingly into Jim's eyes.....
As does Paddy
>> good one, seems to be a mutual appreciation society going
>> on can you feel the love in the room bit of the Frodo
>> Samwise Gamgee about them
And Johnnybhoy again
>> is that bigotry? is that against the law?, it is
>> distasteful- sick even but if Murray were to take the
>> poster to court over it he wouldn't have a leg to stand on
Johnnybhoy shows he buys his jokes from the same gutter as Donald
Findlay, as David Murray's disability makes an appearance on the
thread
***
>> Don't post binary attachments to non-binary newsgroups ya pie!
Guig netcops a binary poster with a much underused insult
**
>> Now you and yer pals stop singling people out on here for
>> abuse and mockery.
Dazza gets on his high horse over abuse and mockery shortly before
changing his usenet posting name to Chesney Strachan
and...well...mocking small ginger haired people.
***
>> Anway, how do you single cell organisms manage to type,
>> that's always puzzled me?
Ronnie assigns Jim a place in the evolutionary ladder and manages a
wee insult at the same time as a thread about Prso goes down that well
worn route.
***
>> It could be 520 years for all I care, makes no difference
>> to what happens now and Rangers are the club at the
>> forefront of battling bigotry.
Dazza tries manfully to deflect attention away from the news that
Rangers have removed Eggs Benedict from the Ibrox menu due to it
sounding too much like the new Popes name. His comments came a full 9
months before UEFA investigate Rangers for...well...bigotry.
***
>> BB (Big Brother) is a show for people with the intellect
>> to understand the behaviour between a group of adults.
>> Its far too grown up for you. Plus its past your bedtime.
Dazza fails to grasp the concept of reality TV.
***
>> I bet any money Lovenkrands signs for £250,000, plays a
>> good season and is hailed bargain of the season.
The Gaffer makes another disasterous prediction, as talk of a £1/4M
Portsmouth swoop for the new(ish) Brian Laudrup runs amok in one wee
11 post thread
***
>> We all know that you are a dyed in the wool, irrational,
>> foaming at the mouth bigot, who will not, or cannot,
>> comprehend that opinions that differ from his have any
>> validity. Now go crawl back under your rock.
Oso Bear gets a handle on Jim
***
>> Heard from a source today ( which has been pretty acurate
>> in the past) that it's pretty much a done deal to bring
>> him [James McFadden] to Ibrox in the summer as a replacement for
>> Lovenkrands.
The Sheriff gets in the first "I know a guy who knows a guy" post of
the close season, and unwittingly reveals that the guy he knows is
OFT.
***
>> Also felt sorry for the attackers on the bench, they must
>> be wondering how the hell Miller gets a game.
du The husker gets his first Kenny Miller is crap post in, a full 7
months before Celtic announce they've signed him on a Bosman.
***
>> Keep that link handy Jim, we may need it during the coming
>> months when Rangers dominance comes to a fore, you know
>> what the Celtic fans are like. Rangers string a few wins
>> together and suddenly were all nazis and racists and
>> hackers.
The Dazza and Jim love fest continues as Scotlands #1 Norwich fan
shows signs that watching a team in Green and yellow might be making
him paranoid too. Fortunately for Dazza, Rangers saved him from the
trauma of being labelled a racist nazi hacker by failing to bring
their dominance to the fore.
***
>> goes to show you as long as you have money and are famous
>> you can get away with anything. once a nonce, always a
>> nonce. jacko=peado scum
Wim (was this Will?) shows his appreciation of the American judicial
system, as word comes through that Michael Jackson has been found not
guilty of Child Molestation charges.
***
>> PRICK.AWAY and Crawl back under your Republican rock.
Jim reaches critical mass on his quest for meltdown, as he and
HoopsBhoy get into an online scuffle over a tedious 0-0 draw between
Scotland and Belarus.
>> Still get nightmares about your time in the army jim? Pity
>> the Provys didn't sort you out :-(
While HoopsBhoy proves that whether his rock is republican or not, he
still crawls under one each night.
>> Donald Fudley is a parasite and I hope cancer is the cure
>> for him. I would love to see him dead.
>>SCUM.
Wim rises to the Hoopsbhoy challenge as a new thread about Donald
Findlay telling innapropriate jokes kicks in. Whether he was calling
Findlay SCUM, or was signing of his post as the SCUM he is remains
open to debate.
***
>> Keep the faith lads! Wee Gordon is dead funny sitting on
>> the couch on MOD and umm...seems to know loads about
>> football! I am sure you will be fine...bwahahaha!
Von Heler finally gets something right about football. We were fine.
***
>> 26 years old, great attitude, leads by example, loyal and
>> by far Scotland's best midfielder.... IMO Petrov is the man
>> to taken over from McNamara as our captain.
JohnE praises Stan Petrov to the hilt 10 months before attitude and
loyalty went out the window....
>> I mean surely we can get a better left-back than Jackie
>> McNamara...
...while still being blissfully ignorant of the horror that was Mo
Camara
***
>> Nothing's changed lads. A board with no ambition, unwilling
>> to spend, and a cheapo comedian manager. Enjoy next season!
Von Helers good wishes were well received by the Celtic NG, and we
should all remember to thank him, as we embark on another Champions
League adventure as Scottish Champions.
***
>> Celtic are currently falling apart at the seams, losing
>> their captain and possibly most important link, plus
>> seemingly re-signing Lennon, possibly losing Balde, etc
>> etc.
Danny begins to get excited about the new season as he floats the idea
of Rangers stealing Craig Bellamy from Celtic...
>> You've lost 2 important players [McNamara and Douglas] and
>> Momo Sylla recently. You've also said bye bye to Henchoz.
>> Then there's the potential loss of Balde and
>> Valgaeren...That's got to be troubling.
...Before failing to spot that losing the aforementioned players
wasn't in the slightest bit worrying to 99%% of Celtic fans. We
rejoiced. Well, except for Jackie Mac...
>> Not the SPL title, no.
...and finishing up with a witty response to Archangels claim that no
matter what Celtic do, they can't win.
>> No doubt someone will archive this.
I did, Ronnie.
***
>> Not Bellamy, that's for sure. The guy is a weasel-faced
>> arse and so overrated. We've got Prso and Novo, and
>> underrated Steven Thompson who're good enough.
The Gaffer joins Danny in feeling confident for the new season...
>> I'd rather have Novo or Prso than Bellamy. They've got good
>> attitudes and love Rangers. For the money Bellamy makes he
>> should at least be expected to play on the left-wing when
>> you ask him to.
...Before displaying his complete lack of footballing knowledge for
all to see.
***
>> I seen him play once he is an excellent player, this is
>> brilliant news!!!
Andy hails the arrival of Brahim Hemdani at Ibrox. Over the next 10
months he'd manage to double the number of times he'd see the
ex-marseille man play.
***
>> Slovakian champions Katia or Artmedia of Kazakhstan.
>> Shouldn't be any problems with either side, even if they
>> are in the case of Artmedia, well into their season. If
>> they fail to beat either team over two legs........well,
>> come on.
Duncan sets himself for a fall as news of the Champions League draw
makes its way onto the NG's.
***
>> Once again no ambition, if he was costing £5m would they be
>> quick at going after him, lets face it Strachan and the
>> Board are idiots.
Wim jumps the gun as news of Celtic's interest in Southampton defender
Claus Lundekvam leaks out
***
>> Wouldn't be so bad if we could sell Hartson for £20m
Stevie bemoans Celtics lack of transfer funds and shows the kind of
optimism that is usually the domain of Rangers fans going into a new
season.
>> Unless they start selling footballers by the pound that is
>> exremely unlikely.
And is instantly shot down by Angof
***
>> Zurawski, Bellamy and Aliadiere up front for Celtic next
>> season? Yes please!
One out of three for JohnE
***
>> I'd be happy just to get to the group stage and then see
>> what happens. Anything after that's a bonus.
Stevie sets himself up for dissappointment as discussions turn to how
Celtic's new signings will impact on the CL
***
>> Reminds me of Mladenovic...
Danny, on hearing the news that Celtic have finally captured the
signature of Zurawski. He was right too...if you forget about their
different nationalities, positions, skill, number of appearances or
goals and the impact they each had in Scotland. Bang on Danny.
>> I hope he is a half as good [as Shevchenko] but dont forget
>> his record is similar to one Mr Brattback.
Colin McKechnie greets news of Zurawski signing with a CB60-esque
pronouncement
***
