Yog koj tus txiv/pojniam tuag koj puas kam ua daim pob zeb rau neb ob
leeg daim duab thiab lub npe tib si rau? Why and why not?

Peace,
HK

Respect the dead. Likewise, respect the living. Who died? Who is
still living? Did the one who died still lives? Is the one living
dead? Why confuse yourself and others. Your marriage vow stated:
'Til death do us part. Therefore, it's time to part.

VH,
Yog kawg tias kuv hais tsis tseeb. Cia rov nug dua tshiab - Yog ib
tug tuag ib tug tseem ciaj, tus ciaj puas kam rau nws lub npe thiab
daim duab nrog tus tuag rau ntawm lub headstone? Meskas yeej hais li
kod los mas tiam sis lawv kuj rau 2 leeg npe rau lub headstone thiab
ned. Qhov kuv nug mas yog xav paub saib peb Hmoob ho muaj kev xav li
cas xwb vim feem ntau mas thaum mus yuav quas ntxa mas yeej pheej yuav
2 lub quas ntxa ua ke thiab. Vim Hmoob sij muaj x kev lis kev cai
cuam tshuam thiab ces thiaj xav paub xwb os me naib aw... Tsis tag li
ntawd, rau cov txiv neej uas muaj niam hlob niam yau, nej xav kom faus
nej nrog niam yau los niam hlob? Kuv xav mas yog yuav kom haum tiag x
mas tej zaum muab phua ob sab es faib ib leeg ib sab no. Rau qhov tus
twg los yeej ntshaw ntshawv tus...

Me muam Hnub es,

Koj yeej hais meej kawg li lawm. Kuv los yeej teb koj meem kawm li
lawm thiab. Kuv saib mas tsis yog koj xav paub tiag ho koj tsuas yog
xav dig kom quav tsw los yog kom lub mob huam xwb nes puas yog?

Qhov kam thiab tsis kam ntawd nyob tawm tus tibneeg tus kheej xwb. Lo
lus "kav" no twb txhais tias "yeem tus kheej" no nes puas yog? Nws
yeem nws tus kheej ces nws tso nws tsis yeem ces tsis tas tso. Twb
tsis muaj tibneeg yuam nws nes?

Txawm li cas los tej no tsis muaj ib txoj cai nyob qhov twg yuam qees
tias yuav tsum tso 2 leeg npe thiaj li yog. Kev "Yeem" tso npe thiab
"Yuam" tso npe no sib txawv. Yog "yeem" xwb ces there really is no
dilemma/issue here to discuss.

hnub-- ua li vimhlub hais, tej no yeej tsis muaj cai tswj. kam thiab
tsis kam yog nyob ntawm tus neeg xwb. tab sis hais txog ntawm kuv mas
kuv tsis kam nawb vim kuv twb yuav rhov mus nrhiav dua zaub mos noj
es. kuv yeej paub kuv poj niam los yuav tsis kam thiab vim nws twb
yuav mus nrhiav zaub mos noj thiab.

kuv ntseeg li no xwb. txij nkawv txoj kev nyob ua ke thiab sib hlub
tsuas muaj ib zaug xwb. yog tuag lawm ces nyias yuav mus nyias thiab
lwm tias los nyias yeej yuav rov mus tau nyias tus tshiab lawm. yog
tuag lawm ces txhais tau hais tias that is the end of it. yus tau
tshiab hnub twg ces kav tsij hlub tus ntawd lawm xwb. tus tuag yeej
ncaim yus mus lawm. tus tseem nrog yus nyob thiaj yog yus tus lawm
xwb.

Phoojywg Hnubkaj,
Raws li Hmoob ib txwm coj los, Hmoob yeej tsis muab tus niam thiab tus
txiv mus los ua ib ke sib ze napum li teb chaws no. Tabsis kuj pom tus
puav tau yuav qhov ntxa tseg li ntawd lawm thiab. Lo lus teb koj mas
ib nkawm niam txiv yuav txawv ib nkawm lawm. Qhov loj tshaj mas yog
nyob ntawm nkawv txoj kev sib hlub thiab nkawv lub hnub nyoog xwb. Yog
nkawv yog ob niam txiv uas sib hlub heev thiab muaj hnub nyoog lawm
ces nkawv yeej kam ua li koj hais. Tabsis cov niam txiv uas, txiv
nyiag ntsis hu xov tooj mus tim Nplog lossis niam nyiag ntsis mus tom
night club, cov no ces tsis thas hais txog. Hos cov uas muaj niam hlob
niam yau mas haj yam tsis hais txog.

HL

Cov me dab laug/txiv ntxawm/tub aw.
Sim neej no ua cas nej yuav hais tau tu siab tag npaum li os yuad? Ua
cas tej txiv neej es nim muaj x option es yog tus niam tuag lawm ces
yuav muab tus me pojniam cais kiag rau dab los muaj, tus yuav xaus kev
sib ncawg/ze (end relationship/commitment)nrog tus niam los muaj, tus
hais tias hlub ib zaug xwb txaus lawm los muaj no os yuad...

Ua cas es peb cov pojniam nim xav tias ntshai peb yuav txiv ces "ciaj
los yuav nrog nws, tuag los yuav nrog nws" tsis tag li peb tseem vam
x tias yog yus tuag ces niag txiv yuav muab yus taw mus rau nws cov
dab es yus nrog nws cov niag dab nyob tos es lwm hnub nws lawv qab los
ces tseem yuav tau ua neej/dab hauv dab teb nrog nws ntxiv thiab no
os. Yog li nej tej niag lus hais tias "ciaj yog nej neeg tuag yog nej
dab" no ntshai yog lam dag tej niag pojniam siab muag xwb pob?

Kuv li ses kuv yeej mus yuav kiag tau 2 daim av rau wb 2 niam txiv,
muaj lag zeb thiab sau npe tib ntxiag rau tas lawm laid. Hnub twg
tuag ces cia li ntxiv hnub tuag rau lawm xwb tiag. Yog hias li nej
hais no ntshai lwm hnub kuv niag phub thaub yuav ntxeev siab thiab pob
los?

Tsis txhob tu tu siab os me muam Hmoob Hnub,

Neej ces tsuas hlub tau neej. Dab/ntsuj plig ces tsuas hlub tau ntsuj
plig xwb. Txawm nco npaum li cas los yeej plhws tsis tau li lawm.
Hlub ces tsuas yog hlub nyob rau nruab siab lawm xwb. Txawm tus ciaj
yuav hais los tus tuag tsis hnov lawm, txawm tus tuag tus ntsuj plig
yuav saib ntsoov thiab hlub tus ciaj npaum li cas los tus ciaj yuav
tsis paub, tsis pom lawm mog.

Los lus uas Hmoob tau hais tias, "ciaj yog peb neeg, tuag yog peb dab"
yeej muaj tiag los mas. Thaum ciaj ces peb cov ciaj yuav hlub koj.
Thaum tuag lawm los peb cov tuag yuav hlub koj es kom koj ruaj siab.
Txawm koj zoo li cas lawm los koj yeej muaj vaj muaj tsev, muaj chaw
nyob rau koj. Koj yeej yuav nrog nraim peb. TABSIS, neej yuav nyob
neej teb, es dab yuav nyob dab chaw nos xwb os. Muab neej thiab dab
sib xyaws tsis tau...thov koj ua siab loj es qhib koj lub siab to taub
thiab.

On Aug 11, 9:41 am, hnub...@gmail.com wrote:

Ofcourse, this is an question that will be highly subjective to each
couple and even individual.

If, as VH has eluded to, the death of your spouse merely marks the cue
to begin searching for a new partner, than one probably need not go to
such lengths.

Even though love could possibly only exist as a figment of our
imagination, it is still widely held that love is indeed a real,
powerful, and even an eternal thing. For those romantics, it would
serve as practical to plan ahead so that they may rest side by side.

Personally, I would have no problem with the latter. If you change
your mind later on, just have it demolished, a single tomb stone made,
and sell the extra plot.