Up and coming Lao American writer (wanna-be) Bryan Thao Worra, from
Minnesota, goes on a racist rampage, against his own. Whatever his aim
was, it is neither satirical nor funny. What it does do is give
legitimacy to the very stereotypes he is attempting to satirize or
poke fun of.

Come to think of it, and while he's at it, Mr. Thao Worra might as
well add his own name as an entire category of Asian "wackos", which
he is trying to paint with this piece of garbage, I mean, writing.
Check it out.

http://www.tripmastermonkey.com/archives/news_views/april_24_2007_aian_groups.ph...

Who's Next, Hello Kitty?

The stereotype of the meek and mild Asian may be a thing of the past.
What's the next wacko demographic?

By Bryan Thao Worra

Date posted: April 24, 2007

THIS WAS THE YEAR when Asian-American men shot the hell out of their
own wimpy, well-behaved stereotype. We're talking of course about the
Krazy Korean Killer, Seung-Hui Cho, and Kenneth "Asian Supremacist"
Eng. As with postal workers, drive-by shooters, road ragers and
bullied goth kids, these things tend to come in waves. Always on the
cutting edge, Tripmaster Monkey lays down the odds on who's snapping
next.

Hello, Kitty: Sanrio's depressed character, Badtz Maru is the one
everyone assumes will be the one to go postal, but we disagree and
nominate the do-no-wrong princess herself. Oh, Hello Kitty, sure,
you've got lots of friends, but you're always the quiet one in the
bunch. No one sees the Hello Kitty that cries inside desperately for
attention, do they? You're always saying hello to everyone, even
complete strangers. How soon before you snap? Faster, Pussycat, Kill,
Kill! Odds: 4:1.

Harajuku Girls: They're packing heat behind those smiles. One day
they'll break free of Gwen Stefani and they're gonna do more than just
hollaback, girl. Odds: 8:1.

Nail-Salon Ladies: Wouldn't handling people's feet all day long while
being treated like a pre-ball Cinderella drive you nuts? And it
doesn't help that these gals have been the butt of a lot of stand-up
comedy routines lately. And have been getting smacked around by hip-
hop divas. Society's only advantage is the the fumes from the nail
polish keep most of them in a drugged, if cranky, stupor. Our odds:
9:1.

Thai Scrabble Champions: Not on the same level of nuttiness as Asian-
American English majors, but they can spell Uzi and Kalashnikov like
nobody's business. 10:1.

Tila Tequila: When she figures out that having lots of MySpace friends
doesn't really translate into record sales or election votes, just
STDs, she'll be gunning for you. She did say, "I. Will. Fuck. You.
Up." Odds: 12:1.

French Lao Rappers: Because anyone who raps in French and Lao is
seriously O.G., yo. Odds: 15:1.

Chinese Delivery Men: Given a rising spate of murders over the last
few years, we wouldn't be surprised if these guys are delivering a
different version of the War Bar to you sometime soon. And they'll
have a getaway bicycle nearby. The current strike in NYC means some of
them have a lot of time to be pent-up. Here's a hint: Be a good
tipper. Odds: 15:1.

Tech Support: Your buddy in the cubicle who's spending more time
looking at the Heckler & Koch website than playing solitaire and
watching YouTube? He needs watching. Odds: 20:1.

Angry Asian Adoptees: Here's a hint, within 10 years, rebel Maddox and
Pax and the rest of Angelina's Benetton bunch will be the least of our
worries. China, Vietnam, Cambodia or Korea, take your pick, if you
dare. Odds: 20:1.

Filipino Airport Workers: "Look, lady, I can read. It says 'fragile.'
I know what 'fragile' means. I'm not some illiterate peasant from
Mindanao. I'm not some Marcos flunkie. Do you know how many goddamn
people come up to me every day like I don't know which way is up? I'm
sick of it. Like I'm not going to drop-kick your suitcase full of
'fragile' heirlooms as soon as I go behind the black-rubber door. Have
a nice flight now!" Odds 25:1.

Korean-American Shopkeepers: We know they're packing heat, and they've
shot people before, but they haven't gone on a rampage. Yet. Still, we
say avoid shops where the owners have pictures of Charlton Heston on
the wall. Odds: 50:1.

Hmong Hunters: Frankly, they already shot their load, speaking both
figuratively and literally, in the 2004 case when a Hmong hunter
opened fire on six hunters in Wisconsin. There remains a high
incidence of gun ownership, however, so we could be wrong. Odds: 75:1.

Math Nerds: If you've got three guns, and 92 bullets, and you fire at
a rate of 3 bullets per minute, how many minutes do you have before
the cops arrive? The ever-unpopular Asian-American math nerds have it
all figured out already! But they're out of shape, and hard to pry
away from Grand Theft Auto. Odds: 100:1.

The bottomline, dear non-Asian readers, is don't ever tell an Asian
person in America to "Go back to China" or use any of the following
Asian fightin' words. You have been warned.