Tony,

Let me give you this story: A 70 yr old mom lived with her son's
family. She receives SSI and a little bit of food assistance. The
son controls the money (legally) citing she's vulnerable etc. and
she's agreed (she has no other option if she wants to live with him).
This arrangement makes her a complete dependent and at the mercy of
her own son. AT the beginning, things were OK. She got $100 monhtly
allowance at the beginning of the month and he and his wife took care
of the rest of the expenses. She provided free childcare for them as
well and she really did not mind because she wanted to help her son.
For the past 2 years, she no longer got her allowance. The son said
everyhting is very expensive and he needed all the money to help
defray the household expenses but in truth he's been gambling and
losing money. He and his wife fought constantly about money so the
old woman kept quiet for 2 years. This past winter, she was told she
could not turn on the electric heater in the basement where she's
sleeping because the electric bill is too high. She tried but there
were times when she still plugged it in because it was below zero.
His son took away the heater when he found out. She cried often when
she visited with her sister, another elderly woman, who is living
alone in a senior high rise apartment but she never said anything bad
about her son or his family. One day, the sister visited her and
found out the situation and invited her to come and live with her. To
make the story short, the son was pissed off saying she humiliated him
(he thinks he has good status in the community). He does not want
anything to do with her unless she comes back and promises to behave.

Now the question is who do you want to protect? The son or the mom?