Economic woes, including rising FOOD PRICES, have prompted Egypt's
"President For Life And Thereafter" to order his impoverished flock of
81 million to practice sexual abstinance or face a visit from his
Prophylactic Police.

"We simply have too many people for the amount of food we produce,"
said Hosni The Humble at a Cairo news conference. "I would urge all
of our sexually active people ages 7 to 97 to cut down on their
copulatory activities to maybe once a week, to reduce the number
pregnancies we're seeing these days. Or, try more masturbatory action
to reduce your urges. You can do it in groups!"

Breathing rapidly after having attended a mass beheading in Cairo's
famous Plaz De Lopov, Mubarak told the assembled reporter that if
Egyptian men didn't cut down on their whoopee, he'd order his thugs to
"Cut off their peepees."

On Jun 11, 11:33 am, dillydally yahoo.com> wrote:

"Egyptian Ports and Airfields Innundated With Condoms! Mubarak Says,
'Enough!' "

CAIRO, June 13 -- In the wake of a furious response to the Egyptian
President for Life and Hereafter's call for sexual restraint on the
part of horny Egyptians, some 600 tons of condoms have been received
since yesterday at Cairo and Alexandria ports and at major airports,
according to eyewitness reports.

Responding to the deluge, "The Hose," as Mubarak's six friends
affectionately call him, the Egyptian president told a a handcuffed
Tunisian reporter, "We must ask that our friends worldwide stop
sending condoms to our beleaguered nation. Our import facilties
simply cannot handle the estimated 50-million condoms we have
received. Our people like to "get it on," as our American friends so
aptly put it, but we now have enough rubbers for every male in all of
Egypt. Even the kids!"

Signaling that he had to attend another mass-beheading, Mubarak said
to the the assembled reporter, "We wish to offer our condom surplus to
other nations who have overpopulation problems, especially in Sub-
Saharan Africa, where AIDS is a real terror."