She was so fat that when she moved to a window seat, her vast bulk caused
the aircraft to spiral out of control and crash in the ocean. The enormous
impact then caused a gigantic tidal wave that engulfed the small island
nation known as England.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURKE NEWS SERVICE, THE NATION'S NUMBER ONE NEWS SERVICE.

DISMISSED!

** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

Imagine a car club that requires applicants to swear at each
meeting that they enjoy driving cars.

Now picture Stan answering questions about membership:

When asked "are you open to people who don't drive cars?", he replies
"We are completely open to all Americans, regardless of what kind of
car they own, and even to people who don't own their own cars."

"Yes, but you do require that members *drive* cars, don't you?"

"Driving cars is an integral part of our heritage and national values,
as well as being incorporated into our laws, so there is nothing
wrong with expecting that every American will drive a car."

"Well, that's an interesting opinion, but the bottom line is that
club policy is to reject applicants who don't drive, isn't it?"

"I believe strongly in individual freedom, so I never ask an
applicant what kind of car he drives or how long he's been driving."

"But that doesn't really answer the question. What about people
who don't own cars, have never driven a car, are unwilling to lie
and state that they have driven a car, and yet, for some reason,
want to join the club, you reject them, don't you?"