and now I can't find that cucumber. Woe is me.

** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

‘Pieces of sky.’ That’s how turquoise was called by some Native
American tribes. Indeed, it requires no great stretch of the
imagination to understand why turquoise was referred to as such. Just
as the heavens could be a peaceful or stormy blue, so could turquoise
seem to express different moods with its different shades of blue and
green. Wearing pieces of sky in a turquoise necklace is a provocative
and attractive idea.

Known as the birthstone of December, turquoise can be opaque or
translucent, and a turquoise necklace made of beads conveys an
iridescent, whimsical effect. Some jewelry designers set their
turquoise necklaces in platinum, silver, or gold; at times, they use
other gemstones in conjunction with turquoise for a complementary,
enhancing effect. Chokers or neckbands decorated with turquoise are
also popular as fashion accessories.

She was so fat that when she moved to a window seat, her vast bulk caused
the aircraft to spiral out of control and crash in the ocean. The enormous
impact then caused a gigantic tidal wave that engulfed the small island
nation known as England.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY BURKE NEWS SERVICE, THE NATION'S NUMBER ONE NEWS SERVICE.

DISMISSED!

** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

Imagine a car club that requires applicants to swear at each
meeting that they enjoy driving cars.

Now picture Stan answering questions about membership:

When asked "are you open to people who don't drive cars?", he replies
"We are completely open to all Americans, regardless of what kind of
car they own, and even to people who don't own their own cars."

"Yes, but you do require that members *drive* cars, don't you?"

"Driving cars is an integral part of our heritage and national values,
as well as being incorporated into our laws, so there is nothing
wrong with expecting that every American will drive a car."

"Well, that's an interesting opinion, but the bottom line is that
club policy is to reject applicants who don't drive, isn't it?"

"I believe strongly in individual freedom, so I never ask an
applicant what kind of car he drives or how long he's been driving."

"But that doesn't really answer the question. What about people
who don't own cars, have never driven a car, are unwilling to lie
and state that they have driven a car, and yet, for some reason,
want to join the club, you reject them, don't you?"

You knowwhutimean...what not...what not. Ernie

"Ernie Primeau" webtv.net> wrote in message
news:pMSdnbMvi7JBCLvVnZ2dnUVZ_sTinZ2d@ntd.net...

[msg: sysop delete] The content of this message has been removed due to
vulgur and obscene content using Erniebot II anti-obscenity filtering.

To save initial plucking time, take a tour of a nearby nuclear power plant.

They will give you a lead suit to wear as you approach the reactor. At that
point, strip off the suit for 30 seconds. this will give you a non-lethal
dose of radiation
sickness.

All your hair will fall out. Buy my solution, apply to body. Scalp hair
will grow back. Body hair will be very fine and easy to pluck. Keep
plucking. Keep growing. Ernie

Law enforcement is now intercepting text messages,
as proven by Operation Sudden Fall in San Diego.

http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/pubs/states/newsrel/sd050608.html
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/education/20080506-1338-bn06sdsu2.html

Don't let your personal SMS/text messages fall into
the wrong hands. Encrypt your messages with one
of these:

http://www.CryptoSMS.org
http://www.CryptoSMS.com
http://www.FortressMail.net/fortress_sms.htm
http://www.Cop2p.com/encrypted_sms.html

Be Safe, Be Encrypted, Fuck the Police!!

If a young boyscout and his scoutmaster were lost in the woods, would they
hold hands so as not to get separated? And does the scouting handbook have
anything to say about this?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

Pagan Scouts

<http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=6124046>

5/6/2008 Fresno, CA (KFSN) -- A scouting organization founded by
Pagans is opening a chapter in the Central Valley.

The local troop leader of Spiral Scouts says it's dedicated to
reverence for nature and religious tolerance. Beckie Tetrault says for
her son and daughter it's an alternative to Boy Scouts and Girl
Scouts. She says,"Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts tend to separate boys and
girls and I wanted them to be able to scout together."

The other issue for Tetrault is religion. While Girl Scouts have no
religious affiliations, Boy Scout troops are usually sponsored by
churches, and belief in God is a requirement for membership. "There's
not really an issue with Boy Scouts, it's just that they are more
Christian centered. Whereas Spiral Scouts is a more earth based
scouting experience." Tetrault explains.