> #10 - Pink Floyd
>
> Pink Floyd has been around for something like twenty years, though I
> doubt they'd remember twenty seconds of it, since they spent the
> majority of the time whacked out of their skulls on drugs.

> Unfortunately, it showed big time in the "music" they released, mostly
> involving painfully long instrumentals that have the sucktacular power

> to even make Katie Couric stop smiling and say "this is fucking shit."
> The only thing worse than their music is their personal hygiene and
> their album artwork...oh yeah, and their half-baked fans.
>
>
> #9 - Guns 'n' Roses
>
> Hey, did you know this is the year that they're getting back together
> and releasing a new album? Or was that last year? Or was that the
> year before? Oh, that's right, it's been every year since they
> released their last album, which was called We Suck Ass or something
> like that. They're not really that bad a band so much as the fact
> that they just have the dumbest fans anywhere in the world. They had
> one good album, yet their fans treat them like legends of rock.

> Sorry
> guys, they aren't. Not even close. I almost feel bad putting them
> here because it gives them some recognition.
>
>
> #8 - Limp Bizkit
>
> Though you could conceivably put any of these new rap/rock losers
> here, Limp Bizkit deserves special attention because they're not only
> extraordinarily horrendous, but at the same time, completely and
> thoroughly retched. They've succumbed to the "let's wear make up
> since our talent cant get us noticed" phase, and of course, they kiss
> up to MTV night and day, appearing on Total Request Live alongside the
> Backstreet Boys but pretend to be tough. Yeah, I'm buying that. Keep
> praying there, Durst, maybe you'll get some talent.

>
>
> #7 - John Cougar
>
> Yeah, that's right, it says "Cougar." I don't give a fucking rat's
> ass what that pinhead is calling himself these days, his name is
> "Cougar" and always will be. Aside from being the ugliest human being
> alive (except of course for his fans), Cougar is the biggest rip-off
> artist in the music industry since Sean "Thiefy" Combs! "Hurts So
> Good?" No, it's called "Escape" by Journey. "Small Town?" I liked
> it better when it was "Do Ya" by E.L.O. "R-O-C-K in the USA?" I
> thought the Romantics called it "What I Like About You!" "I Need a
> Lover?" Meat Loaf's version, "Bat Out of Hell," was better! And the
> list goes on and on and on...
>

>
> #6 - Led Zeppelin
>
> You'd be hard pressed to find a band worse than Led Zeppelin (though
> we somehow found five). It never ceases to amaze me how a band could
> be around for so long, release so many albums (98% of which are boxed
> sets), and have so many fans without ever once releasing anything even
> remotely listenable.

> I do believe we'll find out how many licks it
> takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop before we can solve that
> riddle.
>
>
> #5 - Kiss
>
> Pay attention: Kiss was never cool. They'll never be cool. You know
> what else they'll never be? Talented. Kiss was the first band to put
> together the puzzle and say "Hey, we can cover up the fact that we are
> as talented musically as your average drove of mongooses by dressing
> up and wearing make-up!" Wait a second now, I think I'm on to
> something here: they wore make-up, had silly nicknames, put more
> emphasis on fashion and big boots than music...they were the original
> Spice Girls!

>
>
> #4 - Jimi Hendrix
>
> Here's a tough debate: which was worse, Hendrix's playing or his
> singing?

> I mean, on one hand, his singing sounded like a water
> buffalo giving off it's mating call while simultaneously yelping in
> pain from being lit on fire, while his playing sounds similar to a
> dull chainsaw going through an anvil, only less musical. I guess we
> have to file this mystery under "Unsolved" and call Robert Stack,
> because there's no way to ever measure which is worse, they're both
> that shitty. Anyway, the only good thing this loser did was die.
> It's truly a pity he couldn't have done that before entering the music
> field, thus saving everyone's ears from the torturous sound he
> produced.
>
>
> #3 - Bob Dylan
>
> Oh yes, Bob Dylan, the all-time worst singer, musician, and songwriter
> to ever desecrate the music industry.

> Quite honestly, I think a long
> turn on the rack would be better than ever listening to "Like a
> Rolling Stone" or "Blowin' in the Wind." And you know you are the
> worst performer in history when William Shatner does a better version
> of "Mr. Tambourine Man" than you. And this goes double for his wannabe
> clone, Tom Petty, who's twice as bad because he's trying to be like
> this blood-curdling hack. Speaking of which, as a sub-set of this
> pissant, we have this band:

>
> Remember this joke? Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison,
> and George Harrison all in one band. At first, you'd think "oh
> NOOOOOO!" and start running in circles while wetting yourself.

> Then
> again, some of you might do that anyway, what do I know? I was
> actually somewhat happy that they all teamed up, because what it meant
> was that you could avoid all of the world's worst musicians in one
> fell swoop. It's like they were doing us a favor by releasing just
> one collective pile of shit rather than several solo deficative
> efforts (NOTE: "deficative" may not actually be a word).
>
>
> #2 - The Beatles
>
> The Beatles are horrible on many different levels.

> First of all, they
> are way overrated. Geniuses? Oh, I don't think so.

> Second, they
> paved the way for the marriage between music and drugs which to this
> day has ruined rock 'n' roll.

>And of course, there's the music. What
> the hell is going on there? I'll give them "Let it Be" and "Penny
> Lane," but what else is any good? Of course, everyone knows the
> answer is absolutely nothing. The best thing they ever did as a band
> was break up. The best thing any member did on his own was get
> killed.

>
> And now, drumroll please...
>
>
> #1 - The Doors
>
> The Doors are so awful and pathetic that they are easily the worst
> band ever in the history of anything, hands down, no contest. Someone
> gutting a squirrel would be more pleasurable to listen to and easier
> on the ears than this group of no-talent, drunken losers.

> Jim
> Morrison a lyrical poet? Hardly. I know an inebriated bum who spouts
> off meaningless drivel on the corner, does that make him a genius too?

> Not even close. The best, and only good thing that douchebag Jim
> Morrison did was drop dead.

>
>
> HONORABLE MENTION - Nirvana
>
> Yeah, there's some really respectable looking guys there, huh? Pardon
> me while I go lock my doors. Nirvana wasn't even around long enough
> to qualify as one of the worst bands in history. They were a
> flash-in-the-pan, one-hit wonder band that got glorified by the masses
> who are too stupid to understand what talent is.

> Kurt Cobain wrote
> one hit and then faded into a haze of obscurity and heroin. Somehow I
> guess that makes him a genius. The band became so unknown that the
> only way to get attention was for Cobain to bless the world and kill
> himself. Too bad he couldn't take that skank Courtney Love with him.
> The only--and I mean ONLY good thing to come from this band was Dave
> Grohl and the Foo Fighters.

> Other than that, I can think of nothing.
>
> So there you have it, the worst bands of all time. Ironically,
> looking through this list, I see that most of the entries were and
> still are very popular. I think this speaks volumes for the mentality
> of the general public, unfortunately. And one more time, tell me that
> these guys aren't the poster boys for Men Alone 2: The KY Connection?
>
>
> http://www.nothing-sacred.net/articles/033/