"Learn Prog Music Critiquing In 21 Days"

By C. Moore Peean
(c) 2008, All Rights Reversed

Do you want to become an expert in progressive music? Challenge and
tease your friends? Toss out a few nuggets of trivia and astound them
with your wonderful wit and excruciatingly painful charm?

This book is for you! (Yes, that means YOU!)

By learning just 3 words, you can relate to the entire spectrum of
progressive music that has ever been made -AND- at the same time, be
born in the 21st century. Who says you have to live the experience?
You mean, you weren't there? You rely on second hand news and old
Rolling Stone magazines?

Never again! (Jamais, jamais, JAMAIS!)

You can now use the three magic words, repeat them after me:

1) Mellotron: Mell - OH - TRON
2) Bruford: What you do to tea -AND- Model T too
3) Lead Zeplin: As in the heavy metal or being led by the ear -AND-
Oops, that's three folks! (Volume 2 continues with Mr. Zeppelin)

Wazzat, you say? A heavy balloon was part of prog history? Yes,
indeedy, kids! We give you all of the magic to create another Nordic
myth around a bunch of lighter than air gasbags!

Not to mention the inbreeding of one particular British fellow that
has played in just about every possible band in U.K. history! News at
eleven...

Finally, the Tron is God. (Second only to Jimmie Page, Paul
McCartney, Wierd Al Yankovich, Raja Girl and all of the Pat Benatar
clones). We digress, here, in reverence to the <<< holiest of holy

recreated in gritty, grungy digital form!

Now, combining all of these words (and a few more from Volume 2) (We
lied before) you can take on the world with your prog knowledge and
mental midget magnetism! Amaze the fans! Leave them saying "awesome"
as if they just smoked 40 blunts and listened to DSOTM backwards
whilst watching Wizard of Oz. Yes, yes you can!

AND MORE!

How can one find this tremendous tome of total tune trashing? At
finer prog rock stores everywhere, dummy. And, on-line of course.

Cost: $19.99 (Cheap enough for most progheads)
Shipping: $59.99 (It's quite heavy, ahem. Metal heads beware!)
Donation: $00.99 (To the Raja Retirement Fund)
Rebate: $80.97 (uh-heh, uh-heh, uh-heh - he said rebate)

That's right, boys and girls - it's free! Carry on the tradition of
the Masters of RMP, Village Voice, Rolling Stone, The Watchtower and
other publications, syndicated, vindicated or otherwise.

Hope to see you here, armed and dangerous, flogging all of those who
stand in your way to prog godhood.

[ Go get 'em, Spike ]

http://www.rajaretirementfund.org

Special Offer Code(s): MTGLTALTY -AND- YMMV -OR- ROTFLMAO