> DOG Diary
>
> 8:00 am Dog food!  My favorite thing!
>
> 9:30 am - A car ride!  My favorite thing!
>
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!
>
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!
>
> 12:00 pm - Lunch!  My favorite thing!
>
> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!
>
> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
>
> 5:00 pm - Milk bones!  My favorite thing!
>
> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball!  My favorite thing!
>
> 8:00 pm - Wow!  Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>
> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.  My captors continue to taunt me with
> bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
> while the other
>  inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>
> Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
>  nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
>
> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an
> attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates
> what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending
> comments about
> what a "good little hunter" I am.  Bastards!
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
>
> However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard
> that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."  I must learn
> what this means,
> and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
> of my tormentors
> by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again
> tomorrow -- but at the
> top of the stairs.  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
> flunkies and snitches.
>
> The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released - and
> seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.
>
> The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicate with
> the
> guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My
> captors
> have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
> safe.
>
> For now...
>
> Cat