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  John McCain and Evolution         


Author: Mike Anthis
Date: Jul 8, 2008 00:23

U.S. Presidential candidate John McCain says that recent changes in his
campaign staff are "A natural evolution."

He should take a tip from his conservative base and consider intelligent
design.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.

The offensive jokes policy is at http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/offensive.html

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jul/mccain.html
no comments
  Celebrate Independence Day the right way         


Author: Jonathan Ganz
Date: Jul 2, 2008 19:30

Let's celebrate the last Independence Day under Bush/Cheney by listening to
strangers' private phone calls and shooting friends in the face.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
For the full submission guidelines, see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jul/independence.html
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  And Sue and Mary and Bonnie         


Author: David Lesher
Date: Jun 30, 2008 19:30

AUSTIN, Texas -- The head of the Texas agency that removed more than
400 children in the raid of a polygamist group is retiring.

Carey Cockerell is the commissioner of the Department of Family and
Protective Services, who staged the April raid on the Yearning For Zion
Ranch in Eldorado.

The raid and its legal issues have cost Texas $14 million so far.

Let me guess; Cockerell wants to spend more time with his wives and children...

--
rec.humor.funny is a moderated newsgroup. If you are seeing postings in
the group other than from netfunny.com then your site's software is
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See http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/moderated.html for full details.

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/cockerell.html
no comments
  Bill Gates         


Author: G. Ralph Kuntz, MD, MS
Date: Jun 25, 2008 19:30

Bill Gates' last day at Microsoft is Friday, June 27.

But he doesn't get to loaf around and do nothing. Come Monday morning, he
has to be up bright and early to collect his Welfare check.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

Send comments meant for the moderator to funny-request@netfunny.com. Jokes sent
to this address will be ignored. For the full submission guidelines,
see http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/gates.html
no comments
  One Stop Shopping         


Author:
Date: Jun 23, 2008 19:30

So, I'm walking through WalMart and my eye catches a fake-flower bridal
bouquet (with box!) at the end of the aisle.

I wondered, I have to admit, what bride would pick up her bouquet at
WalMart? - Then I realized I was observing WalMart's marketing brilliance
at work.

The bridal bouquets were only three aisles over from the shotguns...

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

The best of old postings from RHF are now also available in the new
group rec.humor.funny.reruns. Unless you've been a loyal reader since '87
you may want to subscribe to that too, since RHF does only new material.
The archives are also at http://www.netfunny.com/rhf

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/shopping.html
no comments
  can you read a map?         


Author: f_ Anon
Date: Jun 20, 2008 19:30

Q: Why are men better then women in reading maps?

A: Because only a man can look at 2.5 centimeters and imagine it to be a mile.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.

The best of old postings from RHF are now also available in the new
group rec.humor.funny.reruns. Unless you've been a loyal reader since '87
you may want to subscribe to that too, since RHF does only new material.
The archives are also at http://www.netfunny.com/rhf

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/mapreading.html
no comments
  Roadrunner computer         


Author: G. Ralph Kuntz, MD, MS
Date: Jun 16, 2008 19:30

IBM just announced the new Roadrunner computer. It is twice as fast as
the previous record holder at 1000 trillion operations per second.

In fact, it is so fast that when they run Windows on it, it crashes BEFORE it
is booted.

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@netfunny.com.
If you "followup" a joke here, the posting goes to rec.humor.d. If you wish
to make another joke based on one you see here, mail it to funny@netfunny.com.
If it's urgent, use topical@netfunny.com. For commentary on jokes, simply
participate in rec.humor.d

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/roadrunner.html
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  The Marines invented sex         


Author: Iitoi
Date: Jun 13, 2008 19:30

A bosun mate and a gunny sergeant were sitting on the fantail one day
arguing over which was the superior service.

After a swig of coffee the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

Arching his eyebrows, the Sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.

'Not entirely true', responded the Marine. 'Some of those pilots were
Marines, in fact, Henderson Field on Guadalcanal was named after a Marine
pilot killed at the Battle of Midway.'

The Sailor responds, 'Point taken.'

The Marine then says, 'We Marines were born at Tunn Tavern!'

The sailor, nodding agreement, says, 'But we had John Paul Jones.'

The argument continued until the old sarge comes up with what he thinks
will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says...... 'The
Marines invented sex!'

The bosun replies, 'That is true, but it was Sailors who introduced it to
the ladies.'

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
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  A man comes home from work and finds his wife         


Author: AnjaliKumar
Date: Jun 11, 2008 19:30

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in
the mirror.

He asks, "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me that I have
the breasts of a 25 year old.

The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old
ass?"

She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."

[http://jokes.coolstuffs.in]

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.

Support the EFF today.
Read my letter at http://www.templetons.com/brad/eff.html to find out why.

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Jun/doctor.html
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  Be careful what you pray for         


Author: Iitoi
Date: Jun 9, 2008 19:30

In a small Texas town, Drummond's bar began construction on a new building
to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign
to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed
right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it
burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the
bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately
responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect
actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any
connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At
the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but
as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the
power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
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