Looks like the Welsh are partying. Better stay inside
and curl up with
___________
/ \ __
/ / ___ ___ ___ \/ ___
/____________/ / //__ /__ /__ / / / /__
/ \ /__/___/___//___ /__ /__ ___/
___________
/ \ .
/ / ___ ___ ___
/____________/ /__ | / / /__ | //__ VOL. 1
/ \ /___ |/ / /___ |/\/___/ NO. 9

58.5 # 27 [FEB 22, 2008], Martins

So, in the wake of Locked Room's death, the
remaining New Misfits and the Crime Empire decide to
attack the Evil LNH. Luckily, the remainders of our
LNH reappear. Parradox knew this would happen,...

[REVIEW] End of Month Reviews #49 � January 2008 [spoilers]

Academy of Super-Heroes #84 [ASH]
Coherent Super Stories #14 [ASH]
Doomed Romance #3 [8Fold]
Enforcers #3 [Misc]
Sporkman #8-12 [SG]

Also posted:
58.5 #20-21 [LNH]
Kinky Romance #2 [8Fold]
New Exarchs #10 [SG/LNH]
Superfreaks Season 3 #11-12 [Superfreaks]

Minor corrections from last issue. _58.5_ #20 was published in
Jan 2008 rather than Dec 2007.
Let's see, what else...? Oh yeah. [adopts a Blowfeldian voice
and strokes a white cat] Since...

~EIGHTFOLD ROMANCE GROUP PRESENTS A CROSSOVER EVENT~
____ ____
CUT OUT MY HEART / \ / \
PT. ONE OF TWO / \/ \
__________________________________/ \
| _________________________________\ /
| | \ /
| | ||| ||| ||| || || |||| ||| # 4 /
| | | || || || || || | || | | | || FEB /|
| | | || | | | | | || | ||| | || 08 / |
| | | || || || || || | || | | | || /| |
| | ||| ||| ||| || || || |||| ||| / | |
| | =========================================/ | |
| | ||| ||| || || |\ || ||| ||| |||| | |
| | | || || || | || | | \ | ||| | | | |
| | ||| | | | || | |__\ | || | ||| | |
| | | || || || | || | | \ | || | | | |
| | | | ||| || || || | \ || | ||| |||| | |
| |_____________________________________________| |
|_________________________________________________| ...

Artifice Comics - http://artificecomics.com/

She lives!

New (that's right, NEW) from Artifice Comics:

Anthology2 #52 - Serapham Wing: Doomsday Clock
By Ashley Corgan

***

The pressure of millions of gallons of water crushing against
Schezerade's control cabin was resounded by warning lights flaring to
life, sparks pelting her hot skin, and ozone pervading her nostrils.

Her mind panicked, reeling with apocalyptic flashes.

I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE!

Cramps wracked her insides as a defiant roar of adrenaline cut a
burning trail through her arteries and veins.

I'm gonna die... and I'm gonna take this bastard with me.

She jammed a neural remote into the small cavity at the base of her
skull before triggering the EVS of her skinsuit. Her entire form
quickly enveloped by a nigh impervious nano-weave.

Helrot pumped one of his armor's mechanized, ebony fists into the air.
"I'M THE MOTHERF***IN' MAN!!"

In the past, when I've waxed philosophically about humour, it has been
in the context of stand up comedy. In this context, jokes are
expected and TIMING is important. Like a magician, a comedian uses
MISDIRECTION: the comedian starts by telling a seemingly serious story
so the audience is fooled into being surprised by the punchline. The
story is the SET UP. All jokes follow the set up - punch line format:
not enough set up and the joke is LAME; too much set up and the
punchline loses its element of SURPRISE. We are less likely to laugh
at a punchline that we can predict: the comedian might as well just
skip to the punch line sooner and get the joke overwith and move on.

Thing is, and maybe this means I'm really slow sometimes, but it
occurs to be that very little of the above applies to written humour.
In written humour, misdirection is more important than timing: a slow,
deliberate reader can see a joke coming a mile away. Perhaps that is
why humourist Dave Barry uses the phrase "But seriously" so often: you
know there's a joke coming so he will actually lie and tell you he's
being serious right before he tells the next joke.

"So here we are, among hundreds of surviving passengers in an
airship gondola, dangling by a single cable from a hydrogen-filled
envelope that's set to explode in about five minutes," Samuel L.
Jackson summarized. "Somebody needs to crawl through that access door,
scale the top edge of the gondola, and slice through that
motherfarkin' cable."

"Not me," said Courtney. "If I couldn't cut through a rope to win
a 'Survivor: China' reward challenge, I sure couldn't do it merely to
save a bunch of lives."

"It's up to you, Mickey," said Samuel.

"Why don't you do it, Mr. Action Hero?" Mickey asked.

"Don't be stupid. An actor of my caliber doesn't do his own
motherfarkin' stunts!"

"Mickey, you can do this," Jeanette insisted. "Eet is the reason
zhat you are here!"

"I don't know about this, Jeanette. I'm operating without a net here."

"Wizhout a superguy to back you up, you mean?"

"Exactly. People's lives are at stake and you're expecting an
awful lot from just an ordinary man with a spork."

[LNH/NTB] Legion of Net.Heroes Vol.2 #25

This issue of:

[]
[] egion of
[]__ [] [] [] []
[___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes Volume 2 #25
[]\ ] [ __ ]
[] [] [] []

has been hijacked to present one of the

MISANTHROPIC TALES
Of The
NET.TRENCHCOAT BRIGADE

'Idiot Plot: It Was Worth It'
written by and copyright 2008 Saxon Brenton

Mr Anthony Nicolls bounded down the steps of the Net.ropolis
Supreme Court with a huge grin on his face. He felt almost giddy
with excitement as he skipped out from under the eves and into the...

[December 2, 2023]

It's good to be putting pen to paper again, and not have to be so
guarded about what comes out. Sure, they'd give me simple writing materials
in prison, reasoning correctly that there's limits to what even *I* can build
from what's at hand. But I had no illusions that anything and everything I
wrote was being scrutinized...the puzzles I wrote for my watchers to scratch
their heads over could make for an interesting game show some day, though.
I expect I'll be writing later in a format more suitable to my eventual
memoirs, but for now I just want to set down on paper some of the ideas I had
while "paying my debt" to a society that owes me more than I'll ever owe it.

(underlined)It's good to want things
(double underlined)It's better to GET them

A while back, I decided that when I grow up, I want to be a strategic
superhuman asset. I suppose I should step back a few paces and explain what
I mean by that, if only to order my thoughts.
...

I am SO glad I read this now rather than when it was posted.

Why? Because the last few days, while preparing the next story for my
Scion group (where they go to Niflheim in order to ask Hel to help them
get to Annwn -- long story), I could have all these chuckles, imagining
an LNH story set in the (brace for it)...

Udderworld.

best,
Lalo Martins
--
So many of our dreams at first seem impossible,
then they seem improbable, and then, when we
summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

In my opinion, it's time for

___________
/ \ __
/ / ___ ___ ___ \/ ___
/____________/ / //__ /__ /__ / / / /__
/ \ /__/___/___//___ /__ /__ ___/
___________
/ \ .
/ / ___ ___ ___
/____________/ /__ | / / /__ | //__ VOL. 1
/ \ /___ |/ / /___ |/\/___/ NO. 8

58.5 # 26 [FEB 15, 2008], Martins

I have to say that Locked Room's future slang had
been annoying me until the revelation, early in this
installment, that she was basically making it all up
or cannibalizing it from other fictional sources...