ALT.STRALIAN YARNS #4
READING CLOCKS
by Mitchell Crouch

----------

Been-Out-Bush-For-Way-Too-Long Man whipped around as Possum-Man
screamed, "Oh no! It's a poor wittle earthworm, aren't you? Aren't you?
Aaaw, who's the cutest wittle worm in all Alt.stralia? Who is? You is?
Are you? Are you? Yes you are! Ooh, yes you-"

"DAMN it, Possum-Man!!"

"Sorry, boss..." Possum-Man scampered off to look for hulkhens and
supersteer as BOBFWTLMan had requested of him in Alt.stralian Yarns #3.

The farmer shook his head and turned back to his third-cousin,
City-Slicker Gent, whose missus was currently trapped under the ruins
of BOBFTWLMan's house after it was destroyed in Alt.stralian Yarns #2.
The earthworm screamed and hid itself under the ground, away from the
unruly recap.

"Well, I s'pose we'll find ya missus any minute now, mate. We've
practically moved the entire house."

WHERE DOES SUPERFREAKS TAKE PLACE?

Superfreaks is set in Pepperton, a fictional city much
like New York.

WHO APPEARS IN SUPERFREAKS?

Michael King, Detective, head crime scene investigator
at the Pepperton police department and supervisor for
Detective Mary Jones, lab technition Edward Bailey and
sketch artist Frank Lopez.

Mary Jones, Detective, crime scene investigator at the
Pepperton police department. Mary specializes in
field research in addition to crime scene
investigation.

Edward Bailey, lab technician for the Pepperton police
department. Edward specializes in trace analysis, DNA
analysis, on line research and just about any other
application of computers to forensics.

Frank Lopez, sketch artist for the Pepperton police
department.

RACCies Hall of Fame Ballot

As per the suggestion by Arthur Spitzer, this year there will be
a special RACCies vote for the all time favourite stories posted on
either alt.comics.lnh or on rec.arts.comics.creative. (As well, I
suppose, any of the older LNH and NTB material dated prior to the
creation of alt.comics.lnh).

Go and rummage through the Eyrie archives and Google and find your
all time favourite pieces of prose.

==========

The RACCIES Hall of Fame are a two-step process:

1. Nominations. Open. There are three restrictions. The
first is identical to the RACCies proper in that you may not
nominate yourself or any stories you worked on. (I will
except...

Michael King, Mary Jones and Frank Lopez: crime scene
investigators. John Phelps, Mark Johnston and Tom
Jackson: police officers. Jack Greenspan and Edward
Bailey: medical examiners. Alan Russell and Cliff
Murdock: lawyers. These are the men and women who are
truly our last line of defense. But what about the
capes whose cases they have to investigate? Should
they be considered a help or a hindrance?

SUPERFREAKS #19

I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID LAST WINTER

PART I

8:20 am

Katherine Phelps knew her friend was upset. She
could sense her friend's dark mood. She didn't look
particularly happy either.
"Nicole?"
"Hmm?"
"Nicole? What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Katherine...

And so this reposting ends....

This Holiday Special is brought to you by:

Cauliflower the Christmas Miracle Pooch Action Figures: Now you can
have fun recreating the Cauliflower the Christmas Miracle Pooch
mini-series in your own home! The set includes Dying-of-Disease-Little
Girl, Santa Claus-Strapped-to-a-Nuclear-Warhead, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Treesus Lyce, and of course Cauliflower!

Money: Money. The more you have the more powerful you are! The more
you have the happier you are! If you had no money you would be on the
streets cold, starving, and rummaging through dumpsters! Money. You
need it. You need it bad! Money. This has been a public service
announcement brought to you by The Church of the Mammon Worshippers.

And now...

The JONG Company proudly presents:

CAULIFLOWER THE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE POOCH

#4 (out of 4)

Beyond Heaven and Hell

The Incredible Man-With-No-Life flipped through another magazine. It
was an issue of Net.tion.al Geo.graph.GIF. It had a big cover story on
Andale Atoll. There were pictures of the Andale Atoll beaches...

Boring Publications Presents...

Town Heroes #1

By Tim Munn

[A Vocabulary Challenge Story]

He was smoking like a smokestack. He'd managed to quit cold turkey
a year ago, but to her dismay, there he was, lighting up again at the
sight of the villain approaching fast. "Down!"
She was no fool...

Women in Merlion Refrigerators
An ASH Universe Essay
copyright 2006 by Dave Van Domelen
============================================================================

Women In Refrigerators: http://www.unheardtaunts.com/wir/

Back in the early issues of the Kyle Rayner Green Lantern, they decided
to put some drama in Kyle's life by having Major Force kill Kyle's girlfriend
and stuff her body in the refrigerator. This...

Once.

Once there was a girl who chased a great white grasshopper through the
great green grass of the world. She ran fast, but the grasshopper
hopped even faster.

And as she chased, she tripped.

And as she tripped, she fell.

She fell.

And fell.

The grass turned grey.

The grass turned black.

*****

"You know what would be fun?" That's how it always starts. "I played
this game back in college. Of course there were Jell-O shots involved
back then, but -- It's a fun game! Really! You see -- in this game one
person starts a sentence, but they don't finish it and the next person
finishes it and starts another unfinished sentence and so on and so on."
There were a couple of sarcastic "That sounds fun," in the background
and someone else shouted, "The point? How you win?"

Version 3.3

===============================================================================
Administered by: Faq Boy (thad@eyrie.org)

Updated information is preceded by an *.
The FAQ was last updated: 2006-04-29
===============================================================================

1.0 Introduction
.1 The LNH? What's the LNH?
.2 Why should I care about the LNH?
.3 What twisted mind came up with this "LNH" thing, anyway?
.4 All right, how do I get started?
.5 Well, this is all great, but I can't get rec.arts.comics.creative
or alt.comics.lnh on my system. Should I commit hari-kari?
.6 Okay, then, where can I get back issues?
.7 Is LNH2 the real LNH future?
.8 Where can I find out more about the LNH?

Martin Phipps wrote: