( I was seriously considering making this the April Fool's Primer this
year, but it's too serious a document for that fate... I'll probably
add this to the regular FAQ set.

This is crossposted to three groups; followups are set to
rec.arts.anime.fandom only.

-Rob )

The Four-Word Anime Review List
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The concept behind this list is simple: Describe an anime in exactly
four words; no more, no less.

Last update: 9 March 2007

Acknowledgements:

My thanks to these regulars of the rec.arts.anime.misc Usenet group
and the Drunkard's Walk web forum for their submissions:
Shayne Dark anonymous coward
Logan Darklighter ECSNorway
Abraham Evangelista Florin
Jeanne Hedge Foxboy
Chris "Chika" Johnson HoagieOfDoom
Rob Kelk Morganni
Bill Martin Necratoid
Tom "ShinDangaioh" Mathews Offsides
Aje RavenStar ordnance11
Bob Schroeck sweno
Phil Yff Valles
:phant WengFook
Acyl
The descriptions for "Black Heaven" and "Burn Up!" are taken from the
advertising materials for the respective anime.

The List:

.hack//sign: Which game, which reality?

Agent Aika: Guns. Panties. Fighting. Fun!
Ah My Goddess OAV/Movie: Anime fans blessed be.
Ah My Goddess TV: Please wake Belldandy, somebody.
Air: The good die young.
Angel Links: "Outlaw Star"'s mediocre spinoff.
Angelic Layer: Barbie dolls that battle.
Azumanga Daioh: Girls attend high school.

Berserk: Uber Swordsman, Evil jewelry.
Big O: Batman with giant mecha.
Black Cat: Fun Happy Reforming Assasins.
Black Lagoon: John Woo meets "Sopranos".
Black Heaven: Hard rock saves space.
Bubblegum Crisis: Warbots. Babes. Music Videos.
Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Warped remake kills music.
Burn Up!: Big Crimes, Big Busts!
Burn Up W: More Sci-Fi Police Fanservice.
Burn Up Excess: Yup, even more fanservice.
Burn Up Scramble: Different continuity, same fanservice.

Card Captor Sakura: Fifty two card pickup.
Chobits: Who needs human girlfriends?
Chrono Crusade: The Nuns With Guns.
Code Geass: Chicks, Robots, Pizza Hut.
Comic Party: Otaku tolerance training video.
Cooking Master Boy: Chinese Iron Chef EXTREME!
Cowboy Bebop: Bounty hunters in space.
Cream Lemon: Naughty bits pixelated, glow.
Crescent Love: Another horribly animated conversion.
Crest of Stars/Banner of Stars: Blue Haired Space Elves.
Cyber Formula: Racecar's smarter than you.
Cyber Team in Akihabara: Magical Girls. Cybernetics. Illuminati.

D4 Princess: Schoolgirls fight with drills.
Dai Guard: Bureaucratic comedy with robot.
Diebuster: Planets Provide No Cover.
Death Note: Die by the pen.
Descendants of Darkness: Horror comedy with yaoi.
Devilman: Nietzsche calls collect. Damn.
Dirty Pair OAVs: Boobs. Bad luck. BOOM.
Dirty Pair TV: More boobs and destruction.
Dirty Pair movies: Even more boobs, destruction.
Dominion Tank Police: Cat girls take piss.
Dragon Half: A dragon-girl's misadventures.
Dragonball Z: Self Parody, More Power!

El Hazard: Crossdressing across space/time.
Eureka 7: Rip everything, mix well.
Evangelion: Angst, angst, angst, squish...
eX-Driver: Future troubleshooters, classic cars.
Excel Saga: Spastic blonde mocks everything.

Fate/Stay Night: Gender bending folk tales.
Final Fantasy: Advent Children: Where is my mommy?
Fist of the North Star: Road Warrior, Boom-Fu.
FLCL: Giving head causes robots.
Flame of Recca: MY ARM SPITS DRAGONS!
Full Moon o Sagashite: Shinigamis' Sick Singer Show.

Gasaraki: Realistic mecha. Noh dancing.
Gate Keepers: Retro schoolkids save world.
Gate Keepers 21: Schoolkids, The Next Generation.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Hacker alludes Major
Hooters.
Grander Musashi: It's about fishing. Really.
Great Dangaioh: A cheerful "Evangelion" take.
Grenadier: Jiggling boob ammo refills.
Gungrave: John Woo's "Godfather: Zombie".
Gunbuster: Bouncy girl space hero.
Gunslinger Girls: Brainwashed cybernetic girls breakdown.

Hamtaro: Hamsters save the day!
Hanukyo Maid Tai: Every geek's wet dream.
He is My Master: Underage maids in debt.
Hellsing: You suck! You bet!
His and Her Circumstances: Main character die? Continue!
Honey And Clover: Art, angst, triangles, triumphs.

Iczer-1: Lesbian, tentacle, mecha show.
Iczer-3: Small girl with superpowers.
Iczelion: Girls wearing cybernetic bikinis.
Infinite Ryvius (Mugen no Ryvius): "Lord of the Flies".
Inuyasha: "Dragon Ball", doggie style.
Irresponsible Captain Tylor: Captain Kirk on Acid.

Kanon: Sad Girls in Snow.
Karin: The Addams family? Not!
Kashimashi: Transgendered schoolgirl love triangle.
Kiki's Delivery Service: Witch has confidence crisis.
Kimagure Orange Road: Cool girl gets guy.
King of Bandit Jing: Devoid of Actual Plot.
Kirameki Project: Mecha Musume Make Friends.

Labyrinth of Fire: Samurai Panties in Russia.
Leina Stol-Wolf Sword Legend: Gynoid as Earth's protector.
Lost Universe: The Slayers in space.
Love Hina: Hot springs hotel shenanigans.
Love Love?: Voice actress love tesseract.

Mach Go Go Go/Speed Racer: Childish race car driver.
Macross 7: Singing idiot saves universe.
Magic Knight Rayearth: Schoolgirl Knights, Sentient Marshmallow.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: Magic Ninja Saves World.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's: Ninja Good, Necronomicon Bad.
Magikano: Witches make life difficult.
Mahoromatic: Android Combat Maid retires.
Mahou Sensei Negima: "Harry Potter"/"Love Hina".
Mai-HiME: Schoolgirl Highlander? Happy Ending.
Mai-otome: Battle maids, wait what?
Maison Ikkoku: Widows need love too.
Mama is a Fourth Grader: Raising your future daughter.
Mamoru-kun ni Megami no Shukufuku wo!: Mega tsundere, shota
boyfriend.
Marmalade Boy: Brother and sister love.
Mao-chan: "Stand Alone Complex" parody.
Martian Successor Nadesico: Crew wacky. Enemies Fanboys.
Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: What's going on here?
Midori No Hibi: Fun hands on fanservice.
Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland: Where is the plot?
Mobile Fighter G Gundam: It's International Robot Wrestling.

Nadia: Jules Verne by Gainax.
Najica Blitz Tactics: Aika All Over Again.
Naruto: Fights, filler, Believe it!
Nausicaa: Please save my Earth.
New Cutey Honey OVAs: Show us your tits.
Noein: Troubled kids across dimensions.
Noir: Female assassins seeking answers.

On Your Mark: Nausicaa in music video.
One Piece: Rubber band seeks fortune.
Operation Sanctuary: Fun school life, OOOOOOOM.
Outlaw Star: Space, magic & mayhem.
Ouran High School Host Club: Crossdressing makes good money.

Parallel Trouble Adventure Dual: Two Worlds, One Dork.
Patlabor: Big robots with revolvers.
Pita-Ten: Clumsy angel, kind demon.
Please Teacher: Kusanagi's class project - Mizuho.
Please Twins: Kamishiro's no lose situation.
Pokemon: Monsters stored in spheres.
Popotan: Time travelers hunt dandelions.
Powerpuff Girls Z: Silly schoolgirl superheroine sentai.
Princess Nine: Girls who play ball.

Rahxephon: Mayan robots love Ramune.
Ranma 1/2: Cursed springs causing trouble.
Read or Die OAV: 007 meets cute bibliomaniac.
Record of Lodoss War: Dungeons and Dragons tribute.
Revolutionary Girl Utena: Psychadelically confusing innuendo
shenanigans.
Risky Safety: Angel, demon share body.
Robotech: Three shows squished together.
Rune Soldier Louie: Four girls, one schmuck.

Saber Marionette J: Pretty androids harem series.
Sailor Moon R: Strong argument for contraception.
Sailor Moon SuperS: Stronger argument for contraception.
Saiyuki: Chinese folktale, anti-hero prettyboys.
Saiyuki Reload: More action, more angst.
Saiyuki Reload Gunlock: On the road again.
Sakura Taisen: Musicals and steampunk mecha.
Serial Experiment Lain: One major head f**k.
Shakugan no Shana: Loli tsundere, dead boyfriend.
Shinesman: Funny parody of sentai.
Silent Mobius: Female police fight monsters.
Sister Princess: Siblings by the dozen.
Slayers: Travelling fire tempered sorceress.
Sokyuu no Fafner: Are you over there?
Soul Hunter (Hoshin Engi): Chinese immortals, magic sci-fi.
Star Giant Dangaioh: Amnesiac youths flying mecha.
Steel Angel Kurumi: Kiss wakes three angels.
Stellvia: Shoujo hacker space opera.
Stratos 4: Pilot Panties in Peril.
Super GALS!: "Clueless" in anime form.

Trigun: Goofball gunman saves world.
Tsukihime: Vampires go to pieces.
Tsukiyomi Moon Phase: Nekomimi goth moe power.

Urusei Yatsura: Aliens annoy me anytime!
Utawarerumono: It's surprisingly not hentai.

Vampire Hunter D: Dracula's son rights wrongs.
Vampire Princess Miyu: Teenage vampiress fighting demons.
VanDread: Man merges with lesbians.
Voices of a Distant Star: Don't SMS long distances.

Witch Hunter Robin: Mary Poppins from hell.

Xenosaga: Play the game first.
xxxHolic: Watanuki works witch's wishes.

Yumeria: Harem? In Your Dreams!
You're Under Arrest: Dynamic duo battles crime.
Yu Gi Oh!: Cheating? For Great Justice!

Zero no Tsukaima: Lost geek is familiar.
Zone of the Enders: Delores: Giddy Teenaged Giant Robot.