(One-time only note: I expect to get some flack for choosing to
organize the Acknowledgements section. In an attempt to forestall such
flack, I cite Message-ID 3SXLh.66$Kd3.18@newssvr27.news.prodigy.net ,
where the person I expect to give me the flack said "this is a
public newsgroup, and anyone can post anything they damn well please".
I'm choosing to take him at his word.)

The Four-Word Anime Review List
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The concept behind this list is simple: Describe an anime in exactly
four words; no more, no less.

Last update: 11 April 2007

Acknowledgements:

My thanks to these regulars of the rec.arts.anime.misc and
uk.media.animation.anime Usenet groups and the Drunkard's Walk web
forum for their submissions:

Peter Boulter Phil Yff
Laurie "elsie" Cubbison :phant
David Damerell Acyl
Shayne "Rev Dark" Dark AGOL
Logan Darklighter anonymous coward
Stuart Dawson dbbrandell
Abraham Evangelista ECSNorway
June Geraci eomdal
Antonio E. Gonzalez Florin
Jeanne Hedge Foxboy
Heikki "vermes" Heiska Hiroyuki
Derek Janssen HoagieOfDoom
Chris "Chika" Johnson Hoodoo
Rob Kelk marklungo
Bill Martin Morganni
Tom "ShinDangaioh" Mathews Necratoid
Richard Newns Offsides
Justin Palmer ordnance11
Jorge A Pratt Rod H
Aje RavenStar sweno
Nick Roberts Timote
Bob Schroeck Valles
Mark van Gorkom WengFook
Oliver Wong
Robert "eternal lost lurker" Morrison

The descriptions for "Black Heaven" and "Burn Up!" are taken from the
advertising materials for the respective anime.

The List:

.hack//sign: Which game, which reality?

Agatha Christie's Great Detectives Poirot & Marple: Girl, Duck, Solve
Crimes.
Agent Aika: Guns. Panties. Fighting. Fun!
Ah My Goddess OAV/Movie: Anime fans blessed be.
Ah My Goddess TV: Please wake Belldandy, somebody.
Ai Yori Aoshi: Starts well, loses plot.
Air: The good die young.
All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku: Meow. Bang. Bounce. Bounce.
Angel Links: "Outlaw Star"'s mediocre spinoff.
Angelic Layer: Barbie dolls that battle.
Armitage III: Blade Runner The Second.
Armoured Trooper VOTOMs: Chirico. Hard. As. Nails.
Astroboy: Preteen Robot Culture Hero.
Ayashi no Ceres: Oh, My Angry Goddess.
Azumanga Daioh: Jolly but rather loli.

Berserk: Uber Swordsman, Evil jewelry.
Big O: Batman with giant mecha.
Binbou Shimai Monogatari: Poor Sisters Work Hard.
Black Cat: Fun Happy Reforming Assasins.
Black Lagoon: John Woo meets "Sopranos".
Black Heaven: Hard rock saves space.
Bleach: Big swords, bigger boobs.
Blue Gender: God, this is depressing.
Blue Seed: Bear panties save Japan.
Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan: Gratuitous Sex And Violence.
Bubblegum Crisis: Warbots. Babes. Music Videos.
Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Warped remake kills music.
Burn Up!: Big Crimes, Big Busts!
Burn Up W: More Sci-Fi Police Fanservice.
Burn Up Excess: Yup, even more fanservice.
Burn Up Scramble: Different continuity, same fanservice.
Burst Angel: Musicless BGC, done badly.

Card Captor Sakura: Fifty two card pickup.
Chobits: Who needs human girlfriends?
Chrono Crusade: The Nuns With Guns.
Code Geass: Chicks, Robots, Pizza Hut.
Comic Party: Otaku tolerance training video.
Cooking Master Boy: Chinese Iron Chef EXTREME!
Cowboy Bebop: So Long, Space Cowboy...
Crescent Love: Another horribly animated conversion.
Crest of Stars/Banner of Stars: Blue Haired Space Elves.
Cyber Formula: Racecar's smarter than you.
Cyber Team in Akihabara: Magical Girls. Cybernetics. Illuminati.

D4 Princess: Schoolgirls fight with drills.
Dai Guard: Comic bureaucrats drive robot.
Diebuster: Planets Provide No Cover.
Death Note: Die by the pen.
Descendants of Darkness: Horror comedy with yaoi.
Devilman: Nietzsche calls collect. Damn.
Di Gi Charat: Oh, god! Too long!
Dirty Pair OAVs: Boobs. Bad luck. BOOM.
Dirty Pair TV: It's not our fault!
Dirty Pair movies: Even more boobs, destruction.
Divergence Eve: Big Breasts In Space.
Dominion Tank Police: Cat girls take piss.
Dragon Half: A dragon-girl's misadventures.
Dragon Quest: The game, sans grinding.
Dragonball Z: Self Parody, More Power!

El Hazard: Crossdressing across space/time.
Eureka 7: Rip everything, mix well.
Evangelion: Angst, angst, angst, squish...
eX-Driver: Future troubleshooters, classic cars.
Excel Saga: Spastic blonde mocks everything.

Fairy Defence Force Yukikaze: Man loves plane. Reciprocated.
Fate/Stay Night: Gender bending folk tales.
Final Fantasy: Advent Children: Where is my mommy?
Final Fantasy Legend of the Crystals: Crystals make butts shine.
Fist of the North Star: Road Warrior, Boom-Fu.
FLCL: Giving head causes robots.
Flame of Recca: MY ARM SPITS DRAGONS!
Fullmetal Alchemist: Philosopher's stone's heavy price.
Full Metal Panic!: Army brat meets schoolgirl.
Full Moon o Sagashite: Shinigamis' Sick Singer Show.
Fushigi Yugi: Miaka! Tamahome! Ad nauseum.

Galaxy Express 999: Are we there yet?
Gasaraki: Realistic mecha. Noh dancing.
Gate Keepers: Retro schoolkids save world.
Gate Keepers 21: Schoolkids, The Next Generation.
Genshiken: Embrace your inner Otaku.
Geobreeders: Girls hunting evil nekojin.
G.T.O. (Great Teacher Onizuka): Lucky doesn't get lucky.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Hacking complicates plot
Majorly.
Gigantor: New idea: Giant Robot!
Girls Bravo: Massive Mammaries, Convoluted Story.
Grander Musashi: It's about fishing. Really.
Grave of the Fireflies: Japanese youth's wartime struggle.
Great Dangaioh: A cheerful "Evangelion" take.
Grenadier: Jiggling boob ammo refills.
Gundam: Robot Pilots Die Tragically.
Gundam Double Zeta: Tomino on happy pills.
Gundam SEED: Angsty SI owns ZAFT.
Gundam SEED Destiny: Annoying SI gets owned.
Gungrave: John Woo's "Godfather: Zombie".
Gunbuster: Bouncy girl space hero.
Gunslinger Girls: Brainwashed cybernetic girls breakdown.
Gunsmith Cats: Bang bang bang KABOOM.

Haibane Renmei: Halo. Wings. Can't Fly.
Hamtaro: Hamsters save the day!
Hanukyo Maid Tai: Every geek's wet dream.
He is My Master: Underage maids in debt.
Hell Teacher Nube: Teacher with wacky hand.
Hellsing: You suck! You bet!
Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni: When Demonic Lolis Attack.
His and Her Circumstances: Main character die? Continue!
Honey And Clover: Art, angst, triangles, triumphs.

Iczer-1: Lesbian, tentacle, mecha show.
Iczer-3: Small girl with superpowers.
Iczelion: Girls wearing cybernetic bikinis.
Infinite Ryvius (Mugen no Ryvius): "Lord of the Flies".
Inuyasha: "Dragon Ball", doggie style.
Inu-Kami!: Rich cousin's harem outfoxed.
Irresponsible Captain Tylor: Captain Kirk on Acid.

Jigoku Shojou: Huh... Mean people suck.
Jungle Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu: Hare's Mother's Usually Drunk.

Kaleido Star: Cirque du Soleil animated.
Kanon: Sad Girls in Snow.
Karas: Can't. Blink. So. Pretty.
Karin: Vampirism Is So Embarrassing.
Kashimashi: Transgendered schoolgirl love triangle.
Kiki's Delivery Service: Witch has confidence crisis.
Kimagure Orange Road: Cool girl gets guy.
Kimba the White Lion: The adorable future king.
King of Bandit Jing: Devoid of Actual Plot.
Kirameki Project: Mecha Musume Make Friends.

La Blue Girl: Sex ninjas and tentacles
Labyrinth of Fire: Samurai Panties in Russia.
Last Exile: Clean water is tasty.
Leina Stol-Wolf Sword Legend: Gynoid as Earth's protector.
Lensman: Smith turning in grave.
Lost Universe: The Slayers in space.
Love Hina: Laziest harem series possible.
Love Love?: Voice actress love tesseract.
Lupin III: Master thief and friends.

Mach Go Go Go/Speed Racer: Childish race car driver.
Macross 7: Singing idiot saves universe.
Macross Zero: It was good, dammit!
Magic Knight Rayearth: Schoolgirl Knights, Sentient Marshmallow.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: Magic Ninja Saves World.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's: Ninja Good, Necronomicon Bad.
Magikano: Witches make life difficult.
Mahoraba: Narutakisou's Landlady Split Up.
Mahoromatic: Make Beds Not War.
Mai-HiME: Schoolgirl Highlander? Happy Ending.
Mai-otome: Battle maids, wait what?
Maison Ikkoku: Widows need love too.
Mama is a Fourth Grader: Raising your future daughter.
Mamoru-kun ni Megami no Shukufuku wo!: Mega tsundere, shota
boyfriend.
Manabi Straight: Future Highschoolers Look Young.
Maria-sama ga mite iru: The definitive yuri schoolgirls.
Marmalade Boy: Brother and sister love.
Mao-chan: "Stand Alone Complex" parody.
Martian Successor Nadesico: Crew wacky. Enemies Fanboys.
Meitantei Conan: Conan Sees Dead People.
Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: What's going on here?
Midori No Hibi: Delinquent gets hand job.
Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland: Where is the plot?
Mobile Fighter G Gundam: It's International Robot Wrestling.
My Neighbor Totoro: The Troll Next Door.

Nadia: Jules Verne by Gainax.
Najica Blitz Tactics: Aika All Over Again.
Naruto: Fights, filler, Believe it!
Nausicaa: Please save my Earth.
Negima: He needs a SCORECARD??
New Cutey Honey OVAs: Show us your tits.
Niea_7: Stranded Aliens Like Curry.
Noein: Troubled kids across dimensions.
Noir: Female assassins seeking answers.
Nurse Witch Komugi: Soultaker without the darkness.

The Ocean Waves: Confused girl steals money.
On Your Mark: Nausicaa in music video.
One Piece: Rubber band seeks fortune.
Operation Sanctuary: Fun school life, OOOOOOOM.
Outlaw Star: Space, magic & mayhem.
Ouran High School Host Club: Crossdressing makes good money.

Parallel Trouble Adventure Dual: Two Worlds, One Dork.
Paranoia Agent: Wow, psychosis *is* contagious!
Patlabor: Giant mecha with revolvers.
Pita-Ten: Clumsy angel, kind demon.
Planetes: Diapers, meteor shields, psychosis.
Please Teacher: Kusanagi's class project - Mizuho.
Please Twins: Kamishiro's no lose situation.
Pokemon: Monsters stored in spheres.
Popotan: Time travelers hunt dandelions.
Powerpuff Girls Z: Silly schoolgirl superheroine sentai.
Princess Mononoke: Greenpeace's favourite anime, maybe?
Princess Nine: Girls who play ball.
Princess Tutu: Princess Ballerina Superhero Duck.

Rahxephon: Mayan robots love Ramune.
Ranma 1/2: Cursed springs causing trouble.
Read or Die OAV: 007 meets cute bibliomaniac.
Record of Lodoss War: Dungeons and Dragons tribute.
Revolutionary Girl Utena: Psychadelically confusing innuendo
shenanigans.
Risky Safety: Angel, demon share body.
Robotech: Three shows squished together.
Roujin Z: Socialized medicine FLCL style.
Rune Soldier Louie: Four girls, one schmuck.

Saber Marionette J: Pretty androids harem series.
Sailor Moon: Short skirts save lives.
Sailor Moon R: Strong argument for contraception.
Sailor Moon SuperS: Stronger argument for contraception.
Saint Seiya: No! Not another staircase!
Saiyuki: Chinese folktale, anti-hero prettyboys.
Saiyuki Reload: More action, more angst.
Saiyuki Reload Gunlock: On the road again.
Sakura Taisen: Musicals and steampunk mecha.
Samurai Champloo: Long, Pointless "Bebop" Clone.
School Rumble: Wow, they're stupid, huh?
Science Ninja Team Gatchaman: Everything will explode. EVERYTHING.
Scrapped Princess: Yet another blonde savior.
Serial Experiment Lain: One major head f**k.
Shakugan no Shana: Loli tsundere, dead boyfriend.
Shinesman: Funny parody of sentai.
Shrine of the Morning Mist (Asagiri no Miko): Shinto showcase, story
secondary.
Silent Mobius: Female police fight monsters.
Sister Princess: Siblings by the dozen.
Slayers: Travelling fire tempered sorceress.
Sokyuu no Fafner: Are you over there?
Someday's Dreamers (Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto): Tale of modern
magic.
Soul Hunter (Hoshin Engi): Chinese immortals, magic sci-fi.
Space Runaway Ideon: Trucks combine, destroy universe.
Speed Racer: You call *this* anime?
Spirited Away: Bathouse Girl Rides Train.
Star Giant Dangaioh: Amnesiac youths flying mecha.
Starblazers: Early dub's still good.
Starship Operators: Space Cadets fight empire.
Steel Angel Kurumi: Kiss wakes three angels.
Stellvia: Shoujo hacker space opera.
Stratos 4: Pilot Panties in Peril.
Super GALS!: "Clueless" in anime form.

Tattoon Master: Tribal kawaii cures misogynist.
Tenshi na Konamaiki: I'm a man. Really.
Those Who Hunt Elves: Elves Shall Be Stripped!
Trigun: Goofball gunman saves world.
Trinity Blood: Priests, vampires, crusniks, angst.
Tsukihime: Vampires go to pieces.
Tsukiyomi Moon Phase: Nekomimi goth moe power.

Ultimate Girls: Embarassment Powered Kaiju Schoolgirls.
Urusei Yatsura: Aliens annoy me anytime!
Utawarerumono: It's surprisingly not hentai.

Vampire Hunter D: Dracula's son rights wrongs.
Vampire Princess Miyu: Teenage vampiress fighting demons.
VanDread: Man merges with lesbians.
Variable Geo: Battling Waitresses Replace WWF.
Vision of Escaflowne: Tale of two worlds.
Voices of a Distant Star: Don't SMS long distances.

Welcome to the NHK: Just because you're paranoid...
Wings of Honneamise (Royal Space Force): Another world's space
prayer.
Witch Hunter Robin: Mary Poppins from hell.

Xenosaga: Play the game first.
xxxHolic: Watanuki works witch's wishes.

Yakitate!! Japan: Babe Befriends Bread Boy.
YamaNade: Taming of the Goth.
You're Under Arrest: Dynamic duo battles crime.
Yu Gi Oh!: Cheating? For Great Justice!
Yugioh GX: Once Wasn't Bad Enough?
Yu Yu Hakusho: Juvenile delinquent fights demons.
Yume de Aetara: Loser guy saves woman.
Yumeria: Harem? In Your Dreams!

Zegapain: Restoring files really sucks.
Zero no Tsukaima: Lost geek is familiar.
Zeta Gundam: More Robots More Death.
Zone of the Enders: Delores: Giddy Teenaged Giant Robot.

The H list:

Beat Angel Escalayer: Sex powered magical girl.
Bible Black: High school is hell.
Buttobi CPU: Computers need love too.
Can Can Bunny: OMG with sex scenes.
Cream Lemon: Naughty bits pixelated, glow.
Futari Ecchi: Newlyweds explore each other.
Magical Twilight: Witch exams cause trouble.
Rei Rei: Goddess gives strange help.
Urotsukidouji: Tentacles shouldn't go there.

--
Rob Kelk <http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/> e-mail: s/deadspam/gmail/
The Internet Is For Norns,
The Internet Is For Norns!
I get smacked for viewing porn
By Norns, Norns, Norns!
- "Wire Geek", 21 March 2007, on the Drunkard's Walk forum