-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

On Tue, 2 Jan 2007 17:27:02 -0600, Bill Martin
hotmail.com> wrote:

Yay!

I suppose that means you're ready for my take on the Hard Challenge...

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Team Lovely But Dangerous - 2007
Part the Third (a.k.a. the Hard Challenge)
... Does Whatever a Spider Can

We thought that rescuing the nekojin-cosplayer hostages would have been
enough for one day. Silly us. At least we got to finish dinner before
the air sparkled and displaced *again*...

This time, it was a time traveler named Hiro who dropped in
unannounced. He was nearly dead when he arrived, and the trip almost
finished him off; it was only thanks to Belldandy that he remained
conscious long enough to pass along his warning.

"That su- stinks," I said when he collapsed, changing my wording when I
remembered Sakura was standing beside me. "I doubt anyone else can do
anything about it, so it's up to us. Belldandy-sama, ...?"

"It's taking all of my available power to keep Hiro-san alive,
Rob-san."

"That's what I was about to ask. Keiichi-san, I'll have to ask you to
bodyguard Belldandy-sama and Hiro-san while the rest of us figure out
what to do about Spidey and his giant robot." Wow, that sounded
strange... "The first thing we need to do is make sure that Leopaldon
never launches that nuke. Second is to make sure Carnage doesn't hurt
anyone. Third is to rescue Spider-Man from Carnage. I'd like to
manage all three, but that's the priority order they *must* be
accomplished in. We've got ten minutes before the giant robot shows
up. Any ideas?"

Chisame raised her hand. "Go ahead, Chisame-kun."

"Get me a connection to Leopaldon, and I'll shut down its computer
systems."

"Are you ready to go out there?" I asked her. "I doubt Leopaldon's
computer has Wi-Fi installed. No, wait - there has to be some sort of
hookup between the Spider GP-7 and Leopaldon's systems, so that
Spider-Man can call the giant robot. What if you piggyback that
channel? We'd have to figure out how to duplicate the transceiver it
uses..."

Sakura reached for her Cards. "If you can describe it, I can Create
one."

Well, well... I thought that the Create Card only created simulacra,
but I couldn't see any reason why it couldn't create a gadget. "Does
anyone know what we need?"

"I watched the show when I was Sakura-chan's age," volunteered Keiichi.

"Close enough. Tell her what to Create, ..." I carefully did not say
'even if you have to make up something and let her childlike faith fill
in the blanks' - I trusted that he'd know that much. "... and we'll
hook it up to Chisame-kun's computer."

Ten minutes later, the gadget was ready to go and Keiichi was in the
bedroom with Belldandy and the time-traveler, protected by Sakura's
Shield card. Leopaldon had just appeared at the airport. (I didn't
know why it conformed to the sentai trope of having the giant robot
appear in an empty location, but I was glad it did. I lived less than
five minutes away from the airport; we'd reach it before it could do
very much damage.) Chisame pulled her pactio card from her pocket,
looked at it for a moment, and said, "I suppose we're going to have to
do *that* again."

"Do what again?" I asked.

"Power it up, so I can use it. I hate magic; it's so illogical... but
we have no choice."

So, she *had* hacked the police computers earlier. "Where are you
getting the power from?"

Chisame merely pointed at Sakura. When I turned to look, Sakura had
already tossed the pactio card into the air, where it hovered above her
Star Staff. "Card created in another world, draw strength from me and
do your mistress' bidding! CHISAME... CARD!" She collapsed into my
arms.

"Please don't call it that," muttered Chisame as she sat down, invoked
her pactio item, and slumped apparently-unconscious in front of the
computer.

Looking at her pactio item, I wondered why her home reality hated her
so much. Poor girl... but I had other things to worry about. Time to
pretend I was Drake and keep Yomiko on-track, again - this time
including Drake's habit of looking after the youngsters. "Are you all
right, Sakura-chan?"

"I'll be fine, Rob-san. I'm just tired."

I carried her to the bedroom where our guests were taking refuge.
"Please, Belldandy-sama, make sure she doesn't kill herself from
over-exertion."

"Of course," replied the megami, but I was already on my way to the
front door.

"Yomiko-san, let's go take care of that overgrown Tinker Toy." The
nice thing about living near the airport is knowing the back ways onto
the field. The nice thing about having a pilot as a relative is being
allowed to use one of the back ways onto the field. We transferred
Yomiko's paper supply from my car's trunk to the baggage cart we
comandeered (with computer authorization - thanks, Chisame) and drove
it out close to where Leopaldon was standing.

Or, rather, where Leopaldon was breakdancing. Chisame was obviously
having some problems shutting down the giant robot's systems... but she
eventually triumphed, and Leopaldon came crashing down on its back.
(That's the nice thing about 1970s-era mainframes - they have no
firewalls to speak of.)

Yomiko papered the giant robot (so that its weapons hatches couldn't
open), leaving only a gap where it appeared Leopaldon's command centre
could be accessed. Then I called home while Yomiko built a barricade
between the robot and us. "Hello?"

"Sakura-chan? It's Rob. The robot is down and secured; please get
Chisame-kun out of her trance."

"How do I do that, Rob-san?"

"You're powering her pactio card; just send a thought down the
connection. I'm pretty sure that's how it works in Chisame-kun's
world."

"Oh." There was a brief pause. "It worked! She's waking up."

"Great! You can drop your Shield and let your creation disappear now.
Are you strong enough to Fly out here? We're south-southwest of you,
and close."

"I think so, but it might take me a few minutes."

"That's fine..." Just then, I heard metal groaning from Leopaldon. "I
have to go now; Carnage is about to break loose. 'Bye!"

I hung up and turned just in time to see Carnage break through
Leopaldon's outer hull. "Did you really think this could hold *me*?"

"No," I replied while Yomiko opened another case filled with paper.
"It was just to slow you down. *She's* going to hold you." I pointed
at Yomiko, and Charnage turned to look at her. Yomiko didn't even
bother putting down my copy of Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" (767
pages); she just did what I call a "blizzard attack" to completely
envelop (or should that be "envelope"?) Carnage in paper. "Extra
layers, pretty lady; this one's *tough*."

"You think I'm pretty?" she asked, becoming distracted from the task at
hand. Damn, me and my big mouth. Carnage noticed Yomiko's attention
waver and took the chance to extend himself to a point, right into my
chest. Or, rather, right into the copy of "Chronicles of Narnia" that
was suddenly in front of my chest. I was never so glad to have bought
a two-inch-thick book, before or since. "No. You're not going to kill
him until he answers my question."

"Yomiko-san... Thank you. Yes, I think you're pretty. I also know we
live in two different worlds, literally, so nothing could possibly
happen between us. Can we go back to containing the bad guy, please?"

"Oh, okay." She smiled as she threw a few more reams of paper at
Carnage, who dodged them.

"You're dangerous, 'Yomiko-san'. But your boyfriend there..."

"I'm/He's not her/my boyfriend," we said together.

"Fine. Whoever he is, he's nothing special." Two more spikes came my
way...

...only to be blocked by a shield with a feather on it. Or, rather, a
Shield with a feather on it - Sakura had arrived. She landed between
Yomiko and me. "What *is* that?"

"That's Carnage. Careful, Sakura-chan - his body flows like water, and
he can make sharp points on the ends of those tendrils."

"Water?" Sakura pulled the Freeze Card from her deck.

"Like water, not really water," I answered while dodging another of
Carnage's tentacles.

"Oh." To make a long story short, Sakura finally contained Carnage.
She had to use Loop to keep him contained, Sand and Watery together to
trap him in quicksand, and finally Sleep to knock him out once he was
finally held in one place, but she did it.

"Now what do we do?" asked Yomiko. "Can Sakura-chan do anything to
free Spiderman-san?"

"She's exhausted, Yomiko-san." For the second time in twenty minutes,
I held Sakura in my arms. This time, she was asleep and wearing my
winter jacket. "Off the top of my head, I can think of three ways that
Sakura could kill Carnage, but they would kill Spider-Man as well.
They would also destroy Sakura-chan's innocence. However, Carnage *is*
vulnerable to sonic attacks."

"How does that help us?"

"We're at the airport. Have you ever heard a jumbo jet's engines start
up?"

A half-hour later, Carnage was trapped in a seamless paper package and
Spider-Man was free. He'd need to see a specialist about his hearing,
but that was better than the alternative. Then they both disappeared,
along with Leopaldon and its paper covering.

Once we got home, we discovered that Hiro had disappeared when Sakura
had forced Carnage to fall asleep. Belldandy said he never existed
after we changed his history; I don't think I could have been brave
enough to do what he did.

There was nothing left to do but work out sleeping arrangements for the
week. Belldandy and Keiichi got the double bed (and they blushed when
I announced that... but their relationship *really* needed a
kick-start, in my humble opinion), Yomiko got the other guest bed,
Sakura got my bed, Chisame got the couch, and I got the foam mattress
in the basement. (Oh, my back...)

After everyone else had retired to their assigned bedrooms, but before
I let Chisame get some sleep, I asked her to sit down for a moment.

"What's on your mind, Rob-san?"

"Well, ... I wanted to apologize."

She looked surprised. "For what?"

"For the choice of honourific I've been using when talking to you. You
thought fast and used a hack to get us onto the airport's field quickly
enough for us to succeed. That proved to me that the only part of you
that's still a child is your body; your mind and your skills are
sharper than mine, Chisame-k... Chisame-san."

She actually smiled. She's pretty when she smiles. "That's the nicest
thing anybody's ever said to me, Rob-san. Apology accepted. Now get
out of her so I can get undressed and go to sleep."

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Omake
Go Figure

"So... that Create card of Sakura-chan's. Can it create... anything?"

I looked up from the morning newspaper. (I'm still impressed at how
photogenic Yomiko and Sakura are. The photo of me, on the other hand,
would best be used as tinder...) "You'd have to ask Sakura-chan that
question once she wakes up, Chisame-san. I do know that it only works
during the night."

"Only at night? Ick. The card must have been made by a dirty old
man."

"It was originally made by a man, yes. But what brought you to that
conclusion?"

Chisame blushed. "You should see some of the comments I get from dirty
old men on my 'blog. The comments I delete, the posters I ban."

My blush matched hers. "I see... Do they know you're a young
teenager?"

"Yes."

"Ick. Let's not discuss this in front of Sakura-chan, okay?"

That night during dinner, we asked Sakura about the Create card.

"I think it's only limited by the imagination of whoever uses it, but
anything it creates disappears the next morning."

Chisame looked disappointed at that. "What did you want to create,
Chisame-san?" asked Belldandy.

"I was hoping for a souvenier of my stay here."

"Would a photograph do?" asked Keiichi. "Rob-san has a good digital
camera, and we still have some photo paper."

"I guess... Yes, it'll do."

I looked at Chisame. "You wanted something more than a photo, didn't
you?"

"Well... You have figures of everyone else in your collection, but you
don't have one of me."

A-ha; she's jealous. "I want to add a figure of you to my collection,
Chisame-san, but I haven't been able to find one yet. The sculptors in
this reality seem to like Evangeline-san and Asuna-kun - they just
don't make figures of you, or Setsuna-san, or Negi-sensei, or your
other classmates. I can't buy what doesn't exist."

"I think I may have a way around that problem," volunteered Keiichi.
"Sakura-chan, would you lend me the Create card after dinner, please?"

"Why?"

"I think I can use it to make a machine that will make a figure of
Chisame-san. The machine will disappear at sunrise, but the figure
will remain."

The lad's a born engineer, that's for sure. "Good idea, Keiichi-san,"
I commented. Then a selfish idea came to me. "No, wait - make a
machine to make a machine to make whatever figure we program into
it..."

And that's how Chisame and I got custom Chiu-chan Catgirl statues
(complete with panties), somebody on eBay got a third Chiu-chan Catgirl
statue in exchange for enough money to pay for the paper and food I'd
been buying that week, and I got a small 3-D printer that runs off of
recycled plastics and coloured inks. (Keiichi designed the hardware
from my concept; Chisame wrote the software drivers.) We used
Keiichi's original idea to make a few changes of clothes for everyone,
and winter coats and boots for everyone but Yomiko and me, which
finally let everyone go outside in the chill of the local mid-winter.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Next up - the Medium Challenge. This one's going to take a bit longer
than the other two, since it covers an entire week...

- --
Rob Kelk <http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/> e-mail: s/deadspam/gmail/
"I'm *not* a kid! Nyyyeaaah!" - Skuld (in "Oh My Goddess!" OAV #3)
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear
of childishness and the desire to be very grown-up." - C.S. Lewis

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 7.0.4

iQA/AwUBRZrzsQKYYCCCxJ/PEQImOACfYB5WOg++tzUlzvpKGT8IMhmx4HYAoKF/
GC1F1vhHByFFJ5cXrbC27uIi
=TOkb
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----