The Uruha Jyushinshun Sketch

By PD Wright

Disclaimer, disclaimer, where is my disclaimer?
Where is the authority for this story? Not here, it is, not here.

In a building, somewhere in the bustling metropolis of Tokyo, a boy
was entertainin his girlfriend.
Not in that way, you henteis.
No, this boy was a spicky haired flame master by the name of Recca
Hanabishi. He was creating shadows on the wall for his "princes", his
hime, Yanagi Sakoshito, a cute, though sometimes infuriatingly nice
and sweet natured girl. She also is possesed of a bizare healing
ability, wich has made her the target of a ambitious tycoon, with more
money to spare then scruples. The current figure on the wall is a
group of fingers, streching to the sky.
"Ooh.. a bunny!" Yanagi squelled. Recca sweatdropped.
"Umm.. Sure, Hime.. whatever you say.."
"You mean that wasn't a bunny, Recca-kun?" she asked, her sickingly
sweet voice tinged with tears.
"No, no, I didn't say that..." Recca said, fumbling to get thru this
landmine.
An old man had apeared, stood gazing at the wall in concentration.
"I wonder," He said, "Where she got a rabbit out of that..?"
Recca turned, smacked him on the head. Just then, as if to relieve
the tension, shadows apeared to move, towards a corner, finally
resolving themselves into the shape of a dark-haired woman, who
appeared twenty-something, yet was much older.
Much older. Older then it is perhaps healthy to mention.
"Recca," She said, finally gaining the young man's attention. He
looked over there, frowned.
"Mother...?" He said, for indeed, this woman was this sixteen year
old's mother. I told you, she is far older then is safe to
tell.
"Recca, we have a problem," She said now. Recca tensed, Yanagi looked
alarmed, and the old man glanced over.
"What is it now, Kagero?" He asked. The woman, Kagero, or Kagehoushi
if you like, looked at him a moment, said:
"It's the Uruha."
Recca looked deflated, he sighed, said:
"Oh, like I didn't expect the Uruha.."
As if on cue, the doors suddenly opened, and a group of not quite
ten, more like six, burst in and stood there glaring at the
youngsters. The man standing dead center, a tall man, with dark hair
that resembled the woman and the boy, glared, his eye piercing out
from a elaborate and white mask, his robe a sickly red. His arm,
sporting bangles.
"No-obody expects the Uruha!" he yelled, as the others took up poses,
supposed to be menacing, but looking nothing less then sentai poses
stolen from tv.
"Our weapons are surprise!" The man yelled. Recca rolled his eyes.
Yanagi looked frightened. She was the only one.
"And fear.." The others looked at the man suddenly, a long haired
pretty boy in a ninja outfit, a red-haired woman, a tall man in an
elaborate outfit that looked not out of place on a deck of cards, two
younger girls, one with long pink-red hair, the other shorter blue
hair. They shifted uneasily.
"Umm.. Kurei-sama.." The pretty-boy ninja began. Kurei ignored him,
and went on.
"Our two weapons are fear and surprise," He yelled, then, "And
ruthlessness.."
He paused, glared at the ninja.
"Amungst our weaponry.." Kurei glared at them again, as Yanagi slid
behind Recca, he stood there with his arms folded, and Kagero leaned
against the wall. He began again.
"Amungst our weaponary, are such items as fear and surprise, and
ruthlessness.."
He paused, glaring some more.
"Oh, sod it. I'll come in again." And he pushed the Uruha back out
the door. Recca blinked.
"Uhhh.. I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun..." He said, hesitantly.
Again the door burst open, and again Kurei and his band of usual
suspects entered the room. He glared at them fearsly, said:
"Noo-o-body expect the Uruha Jyushinshun! Our weapons are fear and
surprise and ruthlessness and nice red uniforms... Kuso!!" He spat,
his hand punching his other.
"I'm sorry, I can't get this done... Raiha!"
"Sir!," Said the pretty boy ninja.
"I order you to do our intro."
"Me, sir?"
With that, Kurei bundled the hapless group of not-quite ten back out
the door, the youngest girl, Aki, muttering some choice comments.
Recca blinked again, stairing hollow-eyed at the door. His mother
coughed. He shook his head, said.
"I didn't expect the Uruha Jyushinshun!"
And with that, the group of not-ten burst back in, only this time the
pretty boy Raiha was in the lead, his long purple hair flying in the
commotion. He coughed, said:
"Nobody expect the, ah, the.."
"Uruha," Kurei whispered hoarsly from behind him.
"I know, sir.. Nobody expects the Uruha Jyushinshun. In fact, those
who do expect.."
"Our chief weapon!" Kurei hissed.
"Right. Our chief weapon is.. um.."
"Fear.."
"Fear, and.. um.."
"Surprise.."
"Fear and surprise.."
Kurei suddenly leaped forward, pushing Raiha back.
"Our chief weapon is surprise and fear and whatnot! Now, Recca,
brother of mine," He allowed himself a evil grin, "How about a little
game?"
"Game?" Recca said.
"Don't forget, Kurei," Kagero now said, "That the Hokage will always
take you on."
"Oh," Said Kurei mokingly, "Like I didn't expect the Hokage."
And with that, another door opened, and a group of teenagers, the
Hokage of the last statement, burst in, lead by a cute if fierce
purple-haired girl in a green t-shirt and cut-offs. behind her, a
large boy with a mohawk, a younger boy with fangs and spiked hair, his
wrist covered with hankerchiefs, and another boy, colder, ice eyes,
and long girlish hair and face.
"Nobody expects," The girl yelled, "The Hokage clan!"
The room sweatdropped. Recca had his mouth open in shock.
"What the hell is Fuuko doing.." he muttered. Yanagi clapsed both
hand under her chin and gasped.
"Ooohh.. I didn't see that coming!" she squelled. Recca, and the room
sweatdropped.
Recca looked at his older brother warily. He sighed, said:
"What are you doing here, Kurei?"
"A challenge."
"To what? Our sanity?"
Kurei's cheeck twitched. the two younger girls giggled slightly until
the woman silenced them with a look.

And this bit ends.
Sorry so short. I couldn't come up with a of way of ending this.
Based, as is obvious, on Monty Python's Spanish Inquesition sketch.
Hoped you enjoyed it. If not, eh, take off, hosers.

PDW