On Feb 20, 12:19 am, MrWonderful
aol.com> wrote:> On Feb 19, 11:03�pm, "Paul Stevens"
bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
>
>>> "maxo"
gmail.com> wrote in message>
>
>>> Scene: Sunday, 4pm, arguing with a fundamentaloid on-line...then I
>>> realize that the war on jebus is no match for sun and 70. Woo'oo!
>>> Sorta half put on some kit. A jersey with pockets, a faded Columbus
>>> tubing hat...fuckit, threw on some cargo shorts and sneakers, jammed
>>> five bucks in my pocket and jumped on the Kona fetcher of all things--
>>> now with super long fender flaps.
>
>>> Out the door to feel the magnetism. Shelby Bottoms to the left,
>>> deliciously refreshing American pilsner to the right. Nature,
>>> uncanned, won. Four miles from home and a goodly bit into the greenway
>>> system, I see a familiar jersey. I hammer to catch up and it's one of
>>> the hunky dudes from the bike shop. We coordinate, put pins in
>>> imaginary countries, grow fascistic mustaches and within a minute it's
>>> go time! Sun's got an hour left, we got a spare tube, and ten miles
>>> more--Priest Lake is our Poland!
>
>>> We reached the bridge a mile later, spiraled up, and portaged onto the
>>> 2-rivers roundabout over some mud hills, as the tunnels were fenced,
>>> barreled down a grassy slope and intercepted the greenway on the wrong
>>> side of the Cumberland.
>
>>> What a ride to the lake! All sorts of fun stuff from golf courses to
>>> woods, to cows with suburban sprinkles. The elevated path above the
>>> Stones river deserves no higher praise than "wicked, yo". And all was
>>> well in happy testosterone land--but the sun grew weak and as I was
>>> the only one with lights and a sensible sweater in my saddle bags,
>>> alas, we turned back merely a mile from the pathetic stench of the
>>> Redneck Riviera.
>
>>> Hunky Dude and I hauled butt home due to the dying light. �That
>>> bastard taunted me with his speed--as he was fully kitted, but he was
>>> very compassionate and smiled at me after he beat me up the severe
>>> inclines--me hauling not a sporting bike, but a winnebago of
>>> velocipedes.
>
>>> Near 2 rivers, we were descending a gradual slope at a sporting pace
>>> of over 20mph and before the Hunky Dude could utter "watch out", I hit
>>> an unfinished concrete lip of 2" at a very good clip. It was sort of
>>> like a combination of orgasm, being mugged, and punched. PuhCONK. I
>>> waited for a hiss--but no pinch flat!*
>
>>> We chased the sun some more, Hunky man on his cyclocross bike and me
>>> on my dogfood fetching prayer, a good nine miles from where we first
>>> hooked up and finally got back to our unofficial link to the east bank
>>> and it was blocked by eight cops and four cars.
>
>>> "We know you crossed the bridge, that's a $160 fine" �[super awesome
>>> weasel dialog] FREEDOM
>
>>> [cell phone call to Hunky's wife, "huuuuny, please..."]
>
>>> Then we rode to the skate part, where we were recognized as probably-
>>> not-narcs by one teenager that struck up a conversation, and the
>>> continuum of stupidity ensued. Kid yells "COPS" and half the park
>>> throws their boards/bikes/joints over the fence and acts cinematically
>>> casual.
>
>>> Hunky dude's wife then shows up in minivan with bike rack, we rack up,
>>> strap up, and hit the road. Hunky dude, wife, the kids and I chatter
>>> like it always happens when constellations of preoccupation integrate.
>>> It all came to a silence when I asided "they got fried catfish for
>>> cheap on Fridays" as we passed HG Hills...Momma, at the wheel, purred
>>> "that's fantastic, hate the smell of frying it myself, and I bet you
>>> didn't know I'm a [insert Pacific island nation here] redneck.
>
>>> She dropped me and Hunky off at five points, Hunky went into his shop,
>>> and I went for that elusive pilsner.
>
>>> It was really delicious! Catfish on Fridays! Woo'oo!
>
>>> *New rims will cost me $50, plus a few beers and an evening of
>>> relacing. Such hardship.
>
>> But when is the bridge scheduled to be open?
>
>> Those of us who are not inclined to buck the system so openly, would
>> like to know.-
>
> *Screw* the system and the official bridge opening~!
>
> That was a heck of a story, MrMaxo~!
> You gotta pay $160~!?
>
> And you got the Pilsner *&* fried catfish~!?
> Hush puppies~!?
>
> Dam, that was a good story~!
>
> Amy came near me, dying to provoke closeness, *anything*~!
> And I kissed Her~!
>
> Clean, taste of soap, pure and HOT, all in one~!
>
>
>
> I think I'm gonna kiss'er again, *better* and *everywhere*~!
> : ) Lala
Wut? I thought she had her dirty dirty bits spackled over and pees
from a small valve in her left index finger. Like Barbie, if Barbie
smelt of church basement casseroles and Delta 88s. Ginger wimmen
always smell of food, long stewed.
Weasled my way out of paying the fine, btw--gawd I hate shoulder
chippy parks police, they all look like they should do something more
constructive, like eating wings at Hooters.
Bridge opens officially in May, but if you park at the skate park at
the 2 rivers exit offa Briley, you can go look at it. You could even
bring a bike and ride to the lake almost legally from there, even
though a couple sections of greenway aren't "officially" ope
--they're
so obscure as to not be patrolled. Be careful, though, folks,
"unfinished" means shit like the 2" concrete ledge I hit that fucked
my rims.
