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There is a time in the tides of men,
Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
On the other hand, don't count on it.
- T. K. Lawson

Etymology, n.:
Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that
were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed
from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy"
("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."
-- Mike Kellen

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A man either lives life as it happens to him, meets it head-on and
licks it, or he turns his back on it and starts to wither away.
-- Dr. Boyce, "The Menagerie" ("The Cage"), stardate unknown

Most people have a mind that's open by appointment only.

"Facts are stupid things."

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O.K., fine.

A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice.

learning curve, n.:
An astonishing new theory, discovered by management consultants
in the 1970's, asserting that the more you do something the
quicker you can do it.

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What an artist dies with me!
-- Nero

When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but
only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered
glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat
crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard
powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything
like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to
someone else.
-- Margaret Atwood, "Alias Grace"

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A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed
a very charming woman staring admiringly at him. He walked over and spoke
with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
in as Mr. and Mrs.
After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front
desk and told the clerk he was checking out. In a few minutes, he was handed
a bill for $2500.
"There must be some mistake," the salesman said. "I've been here for
only three days."
"Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "But your wife has been here a month
and a half."

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"Of course power tools and alcohol don't mix. Everyone knows power tools aren't
soluble in alcohol..."
-- Crazy Nigel

Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
-- Alfred Jarry

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Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through
any of its streets.

Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.

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Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so
vividly manifests their lack of progress.

In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.

You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m.
anyway.
-- From the wall of the Wurster Hall stairwell

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"Turn on, tune up, rock out."
-- Billy Gibbons

The perfect man is the true partner. Not a bed partner nor a fun partner,
but a man who will shoulder burdens equally with [you] and possess that
quality of joy.
-- Erica Jong

Then here's to the City of Boston,
The town of the cries and the groans.
Where the Cabots can't see the Kabotschniks,
And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.
-- Franklin Pierce Adams

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One pill makes you larger, And if you go chasing rabbits
And one pill makes you small. And you know you're going to fall.
And the ones that mother gives you, Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Don't do anything at all. Has given you the call.
Go ask Alice Call Alice
When she's ten feet tall. When she was just small.