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What an artist dies with me!
-- Nero

When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but
only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered
glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat
crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard
powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything
like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to
someone else.
-- Margaret Atwood, "Alias Grace"

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A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed
a very charming woman staring admiringly at him. He walked over and spoke
with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
in as Mr. and Mrs.
After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front
desk and told the clerk he was checking out. In a few minutes, he was handed
a bill for $2500.
"There must be some mistake," the salesman said. "I've been here for
only three days."
"Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "But your wife has been here a month
and a half."

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"Of course power tools and alcohol don't mix. Everyone knows power tools aren't
soluble in alcohol..."
-- Crazy Nigel

Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
-- Alfred Jarry

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Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through
any of its streets.

Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.

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Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so
vividly manifests their lack of progress.

In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.

You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m.
anyway.
-- From the wall of the Wurster Hall stairwell

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"Turn on, tune up, rock out."
-- Billy Gibbons

The perfect man is the true partner. Not a bed partner nor a fun partner,
but a man who will shoulder burdens equally with [you] and possess that
quality of joy.
-- Erica Jong

Then here's to the City of Boston,
The town of the cries and the groans.
Where the Cabots can't see the Kabotschniks,
And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.
-- Franklin Pierce Adams

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One pill makes you larger, And if you go chasing rabbits
And one pill makes you small. And you know you're going to fall.
And the ones that mother gives you, Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Don't do anything at all. Has given you the call.
Go ask Alice Call Alice
When she's ten feet tall. When she was just small.

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Loneliness is a terrible price to pay for independence.

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its
proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a
better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat
your own family with loving understanding; for the smaller the focus of
attention, the harder the task.
-- Sydney J. Harris

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 *** System shutdown message from root ***

System going down in 60 seconds

Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.)

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.
-- Erma Bombeck

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Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.

Let's call it an accidental feature.