PAUL'S_FUNNIES

VERY TASTELESS AND NASTY Q's & A's

Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have
in common ?
A. You don't look down.

Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.

Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?
A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them
for the next 20 years.

Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.

Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo

Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

Q. What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
A. Good morning Girls

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.

Q. How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?
A. One Post, two Globes, and many Times.

Q. What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A. Whore's fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the
party except you.

Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It works by changing your blood type!!

Q. What do you call a truck full of dildos?
A. Toys for Twats

Q. How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
A. Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?
A. None It should be open when she brings it to you.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

Q. Why do women have 2%% more brains then a cow?
A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.

Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A. Their shaky hands!

Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use some lubricant.

Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left
is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q. What's the definition of eternity?
A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.

Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.

Q. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A. He came home shit faced.
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