Come Ons And Come Backs

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there any more.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat
slut.

Man : Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees sucking on my cock.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
car, I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: So that's how you got that little moustache

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: No problem, I can always shoot my load up your arse.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of bitch that's impossible
to shake off once you've shagged her.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me.... as long as you are still a bit warm when I
shove it in ya.

`````

What is FOREPLAY?
1- The loving before the shoving.
2- The petting before the getting.
3- BULLSHIT!
4 -The licking before the pricking.
5- The stroking before the poking.
6- The procrastination & masturbation preceding penetration.
7- The lingering and the fingering.
8- A premature ejaculators nightmare!
9- Unnecessary with barn animals.

`````

Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were
approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each
other, one pad said to the other,

"Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?"

The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up cunts."

``````````__________

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