http://www.nnseek.com/e/at.arts.poetry/ Posts for at.arts.poetry Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:04:36 PST http://www.nnseek.com/ http://www.nnseek.com/img/64.png 64 64 NNSeek http://www.nnseek.com/e/at.arts.poetry/a_new_one_88781263t.html http://www.nnseek.com/e/at.arts.poetry/a_new_one_88781263t.html Strangers Again > > Tonight, she lies there sleeping > Longing for something new > Hoping that it will keep her around > The feelings are gone, > But the desire is in tact > As we are strangers again > > I walk the streets without you > Seeing your eyes in every woman I meet > My heart cries for the love > My eyes sting from the salty brine > As the desire drives me back > To us we are strangers again > > A spark has opened the fires > The touch is warm and pleasant > The heart skips a beat > Our eyes no longer burn > Our desire is forever ending > As we are strangers no more > Strange Streetwalker Lies sleep in night's long boat around its moist tackle, strange streetwalker without eyes. Every woman meets beneath the water, where desire drives men to work on salted hearts and honey bees. One anemic spark, and a pleasant inferno skips across the eyes to land amongst the fish and strangers. dmh

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]]> Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:04:36 PST http://www.nnseek.com/e/at.arts.poetry/a_new_one_88103887t.html http://www.nnseek.com/e/at.arts.poetry/a_new_one_88103887t.html Haven't posted in awhile, so I add this new one from my archives > > Strangers Again > > Tonight, she lies there sleeping > Longing for something new > Hoping that it will keep her around > The feelings are gone, > But the desire is in tact > As we are strangers again "in tact" is broken here: it is one word... Your switch from third to second person in the 2nd "stanza" (if that's what you call these blocks of flaccid junior high school prose) is a rather sloppy affair... > > I walk the streets without you > Seeing your eyes in every woman I meet Is this really worth digging out of your vast and musty "archive"? Really? We read all these flat, anemic lines, bereft of even one interesting trope to arrive here at a cliche that has landed ass-up in almost every third romantic song? I think this trip should have been cancelled... > My heart cries for the love > My eyes sting from the salty brine > As the desire drives me back > To us we are strangers again > > A spark has opened the fires > The touch is warm and pleasant > The heart skips a beat > Our eyes no longer burn > Our desire is forever ending > As we are strangers no more > Quick and pointless turn-about there. If only everything about this sub-poetic miasma weren't so dull and vague and without human personality. But that would take a writer who is more interested in discovering the outer limits of his language, and less interested in reorganizing the twilight zone of his creaking archive. If this little "gem" is indicative of the material in that immense repository, you have a good solution for its disorder at hand: soak the shelves with kerosene, toss in a match, and walk away. Nothing will be lost, and you will finally be free to move to a neighborhood which has no memory of your pitiful attempts at poetry. dmh

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