Author: Dale HoustmanDale Houstman
Date: Feb 10, 2008 02:35
Spyder wrote:
> Haven't posted in awhile, so I add this new one from my archives
>
> Strangers Again
>
> Tonight, she lies there sleeping
> Longing for something new
> Hoping that it will keep her around
> The feelings are gone,
> But the desire is in tact
> As we are strangers again
"in tact" is broken here: it is one word...
Your switch from third to second person in the 2nd "stanza" (if that's
what you call these blocks of flaccid junior high school prose) is a
rather sloppy affair...
>
> I walk the streets without you
> Seeing your eyes in every woman I meet
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