I was sitting in my chair and drinking some spiked eggnog with some
vintage brandy, and I noticed it was SNOWING! I was really excited. I
Couldn't tell you how excited I was. Well I guess I can, I have some
time. Pull up a chair and let me tell you a story about a man named,
Jed. No not the poor mountaineer that could barley keep his family
fed, and then landed a posh acting job with CBS. But this Jed, would
wake up every morning at 5am and start scraping his driveway. He would
even do this in JULY! After watching him for over twenty years while i
sipped my coffee in the mornings, I asked him "Jed, what are you doing
here? " "Why, I am practicing! in case it snows!" "but, Jed" I told
him. this is Ft. Lauderdale. It NEVER snows here.".. "You just never
know.. you just never know, But mark my words one day it will!" I
shouted with GLEE! after Jed told me this prophecy. It's going to snow
in Fort Lauderdale. This would be the greatest thing ever since sliced
bread. Ok, well maybe not sliced bread, but maybe the pre-cut hot dog
buns. So i quickly got on the net. went to www.snowshovelsfforyou.com
and ordered three, just in case one broke and my wife could help
scrape too when it did snow. I ordered gloves, deicer and the salt you
put down... I was prepared! and every morning Jed and I would get out
at 5am and shovel the driveways, at least pretend. I just wish Jed
would get into the spirit and put on the heavy coat I got him for his
birthday. He always just wears his jean cut off shorts from the dukes
of Hazzard catalog. I swear he ordered from the women's section, but I
am not about to put a damper on his fun. Anyways I warned him that
shoveling snow over and over is like lifting a lot of weight and he
should be careful. He nodded as he always did and we continued to
shovel away.. One day, and I will never forget this. The clock said
4:28am (east coast time, in case you don't know where Florida is, i
heard some jabbering on the radio about some wreck ting up the road.
didn't pay too much attention to it, but I went to get my coffee and
have some bacon, before I joined Jed in our daily ritual, and HOLY
SHOWERZ i screamed. I swear I must have woke up the cat, the fish,
parrot and my wife from their sleep. I rubbed my eyes, and I looked
outside... it SNOWED! i screamed it SNOWED! my wife said, how can
that be? it's 74 outside... "I don't know hun, but LOOK, it snowed."
"she said ptttpth come back to bed... Jed can do it alone for one
day... "I can't this is what his 20 years of practice is for, this is
what I have been training for.,. I am going to make millions with the
only snow shovel in town!!!" "uh-huh sure you will" my wife said..
anyways I called Jed on the phone is a voice higher than a girl in a
torn red party dress at her prom, "Jed, It SNOWED!!" But it was
worthless telling him this, Jed had it all ready to go. The Shovel,
the mitts, the snow blower, and he never told me he had this, but a
gas powered snow melter. I was jealous and envious. SO we started out
even earlier. We went out and there were all these fire and medical
crews out. I figured that since Ft. Lauderdale never got snow, they
are out to be sure people got to work safe... I gave them a thumbs up
and preceded to scrape my sidewalks and driveway of the snow. It was
quite fluffy and loose. and strangely looked like the little popcorn
pieces you see in your packages that you order off HSN. But anyways, i
figured that is where they got the idea from , since most ideas are
taken from nature, at least that is what I was told when I was a small
little boy growing up here.. I was so gleeful I even made a snow angle
in the front yard. My neighbors all came out and watched me, I
figured they weren't familiar with this stuff either and didn't want
to be so adventurous as I was. But I didn't care I even tried to make
a snow man, but I guess they snow we go, wasn't good for that, it was
so loose... But i had scraped it all off and by that time, a man named
Lewis Clark came up to be and said, I am sorry sir, we had this
accident and our cargo fell into your yard and your neighbors.
it was packing material meant for a warehouse down the road. We are
having a crew coming out to pick it up..
"It's not snow?" I said to the man, quickly looking around and only
seeing the snow in my and Jed's yard. "Sir its 74f at 5:30 am, of
course not. It never snows here..." "Well sir, In my world, this is
snow!" and I continued cleaning off my car and sidewalks.. Singing to
Myself it is a wonderful crystalmas.

Copyright 2002 LKM