2-16 For Him The Bell Tolls

First air date Feb 24, 1997.

The episode starts out with Gabrielle riding behind Xena on Argo.
Gabrielle gets down and Xena rides off to see King Lias on some emergency
and Gabrielle would only slow her down. Gabrielle says maybe she can take
care of any local trouble.

Cut to Joxer practicing fighting an imaginary foe. He tries a Xena flip and
lands flat on his face. Gabrielle walks up to him and he says he's listening
to the ground for any giants that may have followed him. He asks where Xena
is and Gabrielle says she's off on some mission. Joxer suggests Gabrielle
can be his sidekick.

Gabrielle says Xena would be guarding the rear and Joxer runs back to
follow at a distance.

Cut to Aphrodite and Cupid arguing. Cupid made two people fall in love -
Princess Ileandra and Prince Sarpedon. Aphrodite doesn't want them to marry
because some of her temples on the border of the two kingdoms will be torn
down.

Aphrodite says she will get someone to cause a jealousy rage. Cupid accuses
her of always finding some hero. Aphrodite says she can use anyone Cupid can
find.

Back to Joxer. Aphrodite gives him a bell to take to Ileandra as a wedding
gift. She rings the bell and he becomes a hero and goes to find the
princess.

Cut to a village where soldiers are trying to kidnap young women. Gabrielle
joins the fight, but soon is overpowered. Hero Joxer (HR) shows up and
fights off the soldiers. All the women fall for him. One of them are
Ileandra. He gives her the bell, it rings and her turns back into Goofy
Joxer (GJ).

Gabrielle and GJ go with the princess to meet Sarpedon. He shows up, takes
her to a spot where a priest is so they can marry. He says he loves her, but
the bell has rung and Ileandra is back in love with HJ. Sarpedon challenges
HJ but as they fight the bell rings a few times and HJ and GJ appear and
reappear. Finally the prince leaves, defeated in battle by HJ.

The two fathers/kings are talking about the upcoming wedding but when told
of Ileandra's love for HJ they both call a halt to the wedding.

Gabrielle, HJ and Ileandra are in a cave and Gabrielle has to stay between
them to keep them from going too far with their passion. She figures out
that when a bell rings, Joxer changes.

Gabrielle, HJ and Ileandra are captured by Sarpedon's father and his men. As
HJ is fighting, Gabrielle and the princess run up to watch, the bell is
ringing and HJ becomes GJ. Gabrielle and GJ are locked up. Gabrielle
escapes after GJ tells her he talked to Aphrodite.

Ileandra's father finds out she is a captive so he leaves to go get her.

Gabrielle goes into one of Aphrodite's temples, and asks her to take the
spell off Joxer. She refuses because she can't let anyone know she was
pressured into it by a mere mortal, and she leaves.

Gabrielle asks Cupid if he can make things right if she can get Aphrodite to
take off the spell. He says he can. Gabrielle leaves with a plan.

GJ is sentenced to death by beheading for being found guilty of threatening
the peace. As the executioner is about to behead GJ, Gabrielle throws a rock
which ricochets off several things until it rings a bell. HJ reappears and
fights off soldiers of Sarpedon's father. Joxer sword fights Sarpedon's
father - the most skilled swordsman in the kingdom. They end up in one of
Aphrodite's temples and begin smashing things. Gabrielle tells her she needs
to take the spell off GJ or she will take Joxer to all of the temples.

Eventually Aphrodite takes the spell off, and everything is okay again
between Ileandra and Sarpedon.

Joxer knows that Gabrielle was the real hero not him.

Xena goes to where Joxer is sitting by himself, feeling sorry for himself.
She tells him the gods can't gave mortals anything that wasn't already in
their hearts. He may not be the best swordsman but has the heart of a lion.

This makes him feel better and he goes with them singing the Joxer Song.

..........

Another "Xena Lite" episode. I guess she was still recovering from her fall.

And a "Joxer Heavy" episode. But I guess it was inevitable it would happen.

AND -- two "comedies" in a row. Very unusual. I can't remember if I liked
this one the first time I saw it, but it wasn't so bad. There are a lot of
things to like ---

Aphrodite. I can't be remember, but was the first time she showed up? It
WAS the first time she and Gabrielle meet.

Hero Joxer. It was nice to see Joxer as something other than a goofball. I
never much cared for Joxer the first time around, but knowing now that he
and Gabrielle never hooked up (something I really really did NOT want to
happen), I can appreciate his role as the comic relief.

Gabrielle. Always happy when she's in a scene.

Gabrielle shaking off Hero Joxer's kiss by slapping herself several times in
the face. "That was scary."

Aphrodite's reaction to Hero Joxer fighting in her temple - "Ex-squeeze me!
There will be no fighting in my temple!"

The Joxer song - See below

......

Not too much I didn't like.

When Gabrielle figured out the bell thing, why didn't she ring it in the
cave to keep them apart?

It was odd seeing "Caesar" playing Cupid. I would have thought a
smaller/younger/more child-like Cupid would be more appropriate.

They brought out what I've always heard - that Cupid was more into romantic
love and Aphrodite was more about the lustful side of love. (Her temples
were often sites of prostitution.)

Kind of missed Xena, but in this story Gabrielle was more than up to the
task.

Despite all the fun parts, for some reason I can't give this one more than a
7 out of 10.

Okay, the Joxer song. Actually, there were three (or four) versions. The
first one (we only heard one verse was in this episode) --

Joxer the Mighty

Roams through the countryside

He never needs a place to hide

With Gabby as his sidekick

Fighting with her little stick

Righting wrongs and singing songs

Being mighty all day long

He's Joxer-he's Joxer the Mighty!

Oohhhhhh-

He's Joxer the Mighty

He's really tidy

Everybody likes him

'Cause he has a funny grin

Joxer-

Joxer the Mighty!

Joxer the Mighty

He's very tidy

Everyone admires him

He's so handsome it's a sin

When you're in jeopardy

Don't call the cavalry

There's a better remedy

(Although he doesn't work for free)

He's every man's trusty,

He's every woman's fantasy,

Plus he's goo-oood company

He's Joxer-

I'm Joxer the Mighty!

Blood-valor-and victory! Ha-HA!

Joxer the Mighty

He's very tidy

Everyone admires him

He's so handsome it's a sin

When things get grim

He'll take it on the chin

If you're in jeopardy

Caused by the enemy

Don't call the cavalry

There's a better remedy

(Although he doesn't work for free!)

He's every man's trusty,

He's every woman's fantasy,

Plus he's goo-oood company

Look out! He's Joxer--

Joxer the Mighty!

Joxer the Mighty!!!

........

The second one, from the 3rd season episode "Warrior .Princess . Tramp,"
with Leah, the Hestian virgin --

TROLLOPS:

Joxer the Mighty,

Master of virility,

Every woman wants him

He's so sexy it's a sin

If you want a special tryst

He's the man you can't resist

By every measure he's a prize

JOXER:

Just check out my shoe size!

Ha-ha!

TROLLOPS:

Joxer the Mighty,

Captain of debauchery,

Never seems to get enough

Of our tantalizing stuff

If you need some company,

With Joxer there's a guarantee

JOXER:

Of the highest potency!

TROLLOP:

Heck, I'd even work for free!

LEAH:

Take your filthy hands off me!

ALL:

He's Joxer-

Joxer the Mighty!

........

The version from Bitter Suite -

Joxer the Mighty,

Master of geography,

Here to guide you on your way,

Stick with me-you'll never stray,

If you're in a land that's new,

I'm the man who'll get you through,

Even if you're slightly nude-

I'm Joxer,

Joxer the Mighty!

.......

And final version, from the 4th season episode "D