Strike up the band, ring the bells, stop the presses.

Those sounds you hear are the turning over of cars, stores being set
on fire, couples embracing.
Dogs & cats, Colin & Mirna, Israelis & Palestinians all living
together...Mass Hysteria!

Why?

It's because all the hopes and dreams of the Romber Must Die Society &
Tea Social have been fulfilled. Oh praise ye that glorious day has
arrived. Now the aged and infirmed can go to their maker with the
knowledge that Rob 'n Amber have never won an Amazing Race.

Which could mean that the ratings for next week's show drop like a
rock...or not.

Let's get to the teams;

Cha Cha Cha
Ah, the kissing contestants. I didn't need to see that, but it didn't
stop you.

I will say Phil had a great retort in being invited to Hawaii with the
boys.

Frat Boy/Dirty Girl
Unfortunately, there is no reason for Danielle to use her breasts this
episode, which certainly disappointed many of her "new" fans. Well,
in a couple of years I expect you to make that desperate attempt at
keeping your name in the headlines by posing for Playboy...assuming Hef
can see past all his hot blondes to you.

Vietnam Vet 'n Scapegoat
Hey, would you like to party with Ian? I'm sure it would start off
great, then after a couple of drinks we'd get stories of dense
jungles, bullets flying all about, and then he'd put his finger in
your chest and belch out, "You don't know nuthin', son!" and the fight
would begin. Of course, I think I'd rather duke it out with him than
Teri, she looks really tough.

Of course that doesn't stop Ian from "encouraging" her constantly. At
least they got a letter from the one contestant who's certifiably
insane; it's not every day you can say that.

Guido
Being in last place makes you nervous? What an insightful observation!
I just never thought anyone in dead last was worried in the least.

Too bad you didn't have the dog with you to sort out the mail.

Bee Queens
Oh ladies..."overthinking" is definitely NOT one of your problems. You
have to "think" first in order to "overthink". Being prepared is
good, I grant you that. But the PROBLEM you have is not "thinking"
enough when faced with a situation you don't understand right off the
bat. And there's this denial bit you brought to the fold last
episode.

Well, everything was pretty straightforward this episode, so no
"thinking" required.

Baldie 'n Wife
Hello, have we met?

I'm not sure...you look familiar...but I don't think we've been
introduced.

Oh wait, it takes you a full season and almost four episodes before
you Uchenna find the drive to beat Romber....and that's about all I
remember.

Master Blaster
First off, nice blue top there Mirna. Second, Mirna now freaks out on
her own cousin. Third...I can't think of a third.

You survive another round and for that Mirna, you will be vilified
until the fingers of your detractors go numb. Perhaps you can make a
surprise appearance at the weekly meeting of the newly formed We Hate
Mirna Group and Domino Club. I'm sure they'll greet you warming
before hurling their bags full of vegetables at you.

Romber
All that research...all that preparation...and you can't spell
Philippines. Manny Pacquiao will jump up and punch you in the face.
Every team has a bad day or two days I suppose, but in your case there
are thou...hundr...well, probably dozens of folks with no pants on
screaming to the four winds at your downfall.

The King is dead, long live the King.

NEXT WEEK: The only one with any dignity is the rat and he didn't ask
to be in this show.