"Obveeus" (Obveeus@aol.com) writes:

I'd argue that "being different" isn't the key, but fitting in is. In the
end, it's no different from the cheerleader clique, or the preppie clique
or the whatever. It's a desire to fit in, and likely the conformity required
is actually as strong as the traditional cliques.

People often fit in by adapting. I've seen people without a clue on a given
topic decide the first thing they need to do when confronting a problem is to
have a meeting. They are great at meetings, the fluff and rigamarole, but
can't really add much because they either don't have experience on the subject
being meeted about, or have no ability to add something of their own thoughts
to the subject.

Likewise, if you're going to a Grateful Dead concert (well, when you could),
get that tie-dye tshirt and the bandana, and pick up the lingo, and you fit
in. So long as you take on the trappings, it doens't matter if you've been
there for years, or since last week.

These things often require an all or nothing. You can't be a half-goth,
you have to go all the way for that almighty acceptance. You can't be
picking at things that you have doubts about that, because any criticism
will cut you off from that all important acceptance.

I've seen it in newsgroups, where the most frequent posters often have
little input, they just keep yammering away. They have little to say,
but it's masked by their "fitting in".

It's often all an illusion. "They fit in, I don't" but they fit in at
some great cost, giving up their identity. The fact that someone unwilling
to go all out and be a preppie or cheerleader or goth just means they aren't
willing to submit to some group identity.

Michael