"Whatever It Takes" with Passion
It's not just about romantic love. It goes deeper than that--it's
about passion! It's about what "wowed" your wife when you were first
dating. How your focus, your words makes her feel #1 in your life. I
agree that in time a more deeper, mature love is built. A stronger
bond and a firmer foundation on Jesus Christ is stablished. Just like
a diamond, a marriage has many facets (sides) that can be touched on.
This post is touching on one facet- "Exclusive, Passionate Love." The
fact that somewhere along the way, men start to get too comfortable-
taking for granted what your wife does on a daily basis. She was once
looked at as a blessing, now she looked at as 'expectation'. The
gratitude is gone.
I remember when my wife first tried her hand in the kitchen. She
didn't have a mom that taught her how to cook. She worked hard and
tried new things. I remember thinking, "She is trying so hard to make
a special meal for me." She was expressing her love in a tangible way.
I remember making a big fuss at how good the food was (which it was
and still is!) and being so thankful for her loving hands making
dinner for me... and now our kids. Somewhere along the way, I stopped
being so thankful. I mean, our family would bless the food, scarf it
down like wolves and give an empty, traditional "thank you" to my wife
after we were done eating.
Doesn't she deserve more? Does God want us to always remember how much
time and love she puts in to our lives?
Not just in meals, but in other areas of her life, I need to be
specific in how I am thankful for her. "Honey, the pork chops came out
so tender- they're great!" "Honey, thank you for always doing the
loads and loads of never-ending laundry. I appreciate you doing that
for me and the kids."
Ephesians 5:25-28: "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives,
exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not
getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her
beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out
of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.
And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really
doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in
marriage." (The Message)
My wife, just like a little girl who dances around in her pretty
dress, is saying, "Look at me. I want to be noticed. See how lovely I
am."
I was losing my wife to the fact that I stopped noticing. I stopped
pursuing her. I stopped loving her the way I did when we were dating.
- The 5 second gaze and smile across the room to let her know I love
her.
- Long conversations where I would just listen and not give her
advice... just listen to her frustrations.
- To give her non-sexual touches. Kiss on the cheek. Reassuring hugs.
Cuddling her on the couch or in bed.
- Coming home with flowers or leaving a special thank you card on the
table.
- Tickling and laughing together.
If you don't continue to captivate your wife one of two things will
happen:
1.) A long, empty life together. You will co-exist, but as Dr. Gary
Chapman says, "Your love tanks will be empty."
2.) There will be bitterness, then resentment towards each other.
Eventually, you will end in separation or divorce.
All I am saying is, as men there can be preventative medicine. The
medicine is "Exclusive, passionate love." Growing and maturing
together doesn't mean "child-like" passion or romance needs to fade
away.
I would challenge any husband. If you started to do these things, you
will find your wife coming back to you. Eventually, you will find her
attitude and response towards you changing. The both of you will have
a more secure love for each other. You will find her happier and
wanting to do more for you, because you notice her- she feels loved
and appreciated.
Mr. Webster(dictionary) defines the word 'Passion' as: intense,
driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction. From Latin pati; TO
SUFFER.
Do you have intensified, driven love for your wife? Are you
overwhelmed with emotion for your lover? Like Christ pursuing us with
reckless abandon, we are told as husbands to do the same. Express your
love with such conviction. Dazzle her with your words. Love her with
such intensity that you will guard her and your marriage with your
life- your whole being.
Pati; TO SUFFER. This means even when we don't feel like loving her or
you don't think she deserves this kind of love- do it anyways! Fight
for her. Bring her back to a place where there is Love and Respect in
your marriage. Love her like no other and she will see a man worth
respecting.
It's your calling by God to do "Whatever it takes"! The Passion of the
Christ has been to love us so greatly, to the point of emotionally and
physically suffering on the cross. We don't deserve His love and many
still reject Him and call Him names, but Jesus did it anyways! He took
on brutality and pain-- ultimately, sacrificing His life because He
loved us so deeply.
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
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