> On May 12, 9:24 pm, astri wrote:

>> On Mon, 12 May 2008, Puddle wrote:

>>> On May 12, 8:35 pm, astri wrote:

>>>> On Mon, 12 May 2008, Puddle wrote:

>>

>>>>> Will try to work with rave, maybe let her color it out. Will
>>>>> draft an email but not sure what to say.

>>

>>>> start with what you wrote initially in this post and then edit it.
>>>> add your actual feelings about it -- how you understand he was
>>>> distracted and had needs and you ended up taking care of him but
>>>> that it doesn't totally sit well with you that you did that.

>>

>>>>> Long sigh. Think you really understand me. Pretending and mind
>>>>> reading and all that. I keep working on it.

>>

>>>> heh

>>

>>>> btdt

>>

>>>>> I had sent t an email the other day explaining that therapy was
>>>>> the most important thing in my life and that makes him the most
>>>>> important (you taught me that and I finally toll him). Toll him
>>>>> this is why I am so protective of his boundaries. Wish he would
>>>>> jus catch on to what I am doing.

>>

>>>> mind reading expectations again.

>>

>>>> we finally discovered after years of wishing t could read minds
>>>> that it worked much better to be totally straightforward.

>>

>>>>> Do you approach bad sessions with your t? seems so awkward.

>>

>>>>> puddles

>>

>>>> we try to. haven't had any with this t yet, actually.

>>

>>>> with old t in az, we had a really bad ending. had been decidedly
>>>> good tpy, but not great ending. we decided to move to hi to be
>>>> with c. told her in december we would be moving in summer.
>>>> exactly same session, she was there to tell us she was going to
>>>> need s*rgery for breast c*ncer (all ended up fine for her, btw).

>>

>>>> she wouldn't let us tell her our news until after she told her
>>>> news. then she interpreted our news as reaction to her news
>>>> (definitely wasn't), and told us was mistake. and she got mad at
>>>> us and didn't tell us she was mad but it made bad sessions for
>>>> months until finally some of the kids asked her if she was mad at
>>>> us. she did say yes, and we were all able to deal with that and
>>>> end a bit better than it was looking like it was going to end.

>>

>>>> would have been much better to have discomfort talked about before
>>>> having it stew for months. sigh.

>>

>>> t was mad at you for months????? Cause she interrupted you? Wow.
>>> That is not good. Cant even stand *thinking* t is mad at us,
>>> couldnt imagine if he *actually* was. Would be dreadful. Is nice
>>> you figured out how to be straight forward. We are not there yet.

>>
>> yes, she was mad at us for months. not because she interrupted us.
>> because she thought we were impulsively abandoning her in response
>> to her getting sick. she never could hear that we had actually made
>> a considered and good decision for us. was dreadful and twisted
>> around.
>>

>>> Funny, this is the email I drafted cause thought you had got off
>>> line. Is terrible but what I would have said: Maybe you will see
>>> how abstract my world is. Is hard to say *straight forward* things
>>> to him.:

>>

>>> ____________________________________________________________________________________________

>>

>>> I am not with a water level. It is so far above my head I can't
>>> measure it. I am laying on the bottom of the water. Black silence.

>>

>>> Thinking I don't want to see you thurs., I "lost" you again.

>>

>>> Kind of like when you are too sick to go to the doctor......I am
>>> too far gone to see you anymore.

>>

>>> Not sure what I am doing to myself. Just lost, completely. And its
>>> black. And its silent. I think I drowned.

>>

>>> __________________________________________________________________________________________

>>

>>> See??? Am laughing as we read this. Is true though. Think LOTS of
>>> rave coming out in this email (not yet sent tg). This is how we try
>>> to get t to understand. Isn't it terrible that we do this? (still
>>> laughing at ourselves).

>>

>>> puddles

>>
>> heh. yes, he prolly won't know *what* that actually means. really
>> suggest you send it *with* *translation*. say, "this is how we
>> feel..." and then "this is what that means...."
>>
>> still think your original post on this thread would say it well.
>> send both.
>>
>> if you really want to take care of him and make his job easier, send
>> the feelings with the translation. would help both of you.

>
> :)))) still laughing when we read that. yes, think your last t was a
> little twisted. Sounds like she was going through a lot and didn't
> want to lose her favorite client. Like you said b4,, is *never*
> boring treating did. Matter of fact, seems that she enjoyed treating
> you and was mad at herself for losiing you. Pretty much what you
> already said here. Have you sent her any updates since move?

> Yes, we will edit first post and send that instead. Seems like it is
> easier, much easier, to write what we feel here rather than to tell
> t. hmmm. scratching head.