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Author: confusedconfused
Date: Jan 31, 2008 23:14
I wrote an email to my T almost a week ago. I never sent it. I put it off at
first because of some logistical difficulties but then decided there was no
need.
I'm sitting up because I'm afraid to go to sleep. Stupid nightmares are not
that bad I just need to get over it.
I didn't dump the cough medicine this morning. I forgot. Mornings aren't my
best time but it sure makes me suspicious of myself that I forgot. And
now... I'm back where I was last night. If I go out there and get it I'll
drink it.
I say I've come a long ways but at times like this I really wonder.
And I know you all keep telling me I don't post too much, but this is
ridiculous. how many posts have I made. And it's all me me. And it gets all
twisted up because saying that means that people will feel compared to
reassure me which means I'm manipulating and attention seeking but if I
don't say anything then I'm being selfish and posting too much and not even
thinking about others
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21 Comments |
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Author: confusedconfused
Date: Jan 31, 2008 21:20
"the valerians" juno.com> wrote in message
news:14h3q3lmt18m29albdje659f1qvhjuqeod@4ax.com...> On Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:55:43 -0800, "confused"
> gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> we put out seed, rodent pellets (for squirrels) and various raw nuts
>>> for the park wildlife. just toss it on the bare ground and see who
>>> comes around. today early morning was 12 mourning doves. late morning
>>> was three squirrels chasing each other up and down the trees trying to
>>> hog the food. after our shower we looked out the window and there were
>>> two squirrels, three sparrows, a chickadee, two blue jays, one male
>>> cardinal, and a most gorgeous red headed woodpecker. they all just
>>> pick their spots and eat without fussing at one another. the sun was
>>> shining directly on them and the colors just glowed. we would like to
>>> just live with wild animals and not many humans.
>>>
>>:) thanks, I needed to read something like this ...
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Author: confusedconfused
Date: Jan 31, 2008 21:00
> i am glad when i see your name show up. it's like a member of the
> tribe has returned.
>
oooo, I think a "hi baba yaga" thread is a great thing
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4 Comments |
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Author: cometzcometz
Date: Jan 31, 2008 20:01
On Jan 31, 12:03 am, "confused" gmail.com>
wrote:> "cometz" gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:edf8e26d-87b1-4d3d-b8b7-bec141f11f40@j78g2000hsd.googlegroups.com...> short version cause we are very consciously not dealing with this at>> the moment.
>
>> today there was a very direct confirmation that we lost three months
>> when five years old. no one has any memory. lots of stuff before (not
>> very good but remember) and more stuff after. but three months is
>> unknown to us. we were told where we were by foo member who knows and
>> is truthful. know it is absolutely correct. don't know why but was
>> beginning to get deeply triggered by knowing that this time is blank.
>> so shut it down. black hole was looming and deep nausea. don't want...
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Author: cometzcometz
Date: Jan 31, 2008 19:55
On Jan 31, 12:28 am, "confused" gmail.com>
wrote:> "astri" example.com> wrote in message
>
> news:Pine.BSI.4.64.0801301916240.7455@malasada.lava.net...> On Wed, 30 Jan 2008, cometz wrote:>>> On Jan 30, 11:52 pm, astri example.com> wrote:>
>>>> it's scary to know about time lost.
>
>>> thank you for saying this. losing small times are not so much anymore
>>> and no one knew we lost so much at one time. who was there? what
>>> happened? ohoh, ok, have to stop. you know all the thinks that come.
>>> not good. scary is right. scary.
>
>> it's ok not to think about it.
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Author: jilljill
Date: Jan 31, 2008 18:22
In article v17g2000hsa.googlegroups.com>,
cometz gmail.com> wrote:>On Jan 30, 11:52 pm, astri example.com> wrote:>> On Wed, 30 Jan 2008, cometz wrote:
>>> short version cause we are very consciously not dealing with this at
>>> the moment.
>>
>>> today there was a very direct confirmation that we lost three months
>>> when five years old. no one has any memory. lots of stuff before (not
>>> very good but remember) and more stuff after. but three months is
>>> unknown to us. we were told where we were by foo member who knows and
>>> is truthful. know it is absolutely correct. don't know why but was
>>> beginning to get deeply triggered by knowing that this time is blank.
>>> so shut it down. black hole was looming and deep nausea. don't want
>>> to think on it yet.
>>
>>> hoping we can hold everything in check till next tpy appt. been a
>>> long time since there was a serious debilitating meltdown. like the
>>> hsptl kind. don't think that will happen, but don't even like the
>>> periods of almost that bad. ...
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Author: slunkyslunky
Date: Jan 31, 2008 17:25
I've been talking to my wife on MSN and the last couple of conversations
have been pretty good. I want to forgive her. If she wants to come back,
I'll take her back. Who knows if that will happen, but if she comes
back, there will be conditions. I love her so much. I think we can start
over and be as happy as we were when we met. I've been reading her
journal from when me met. She loves me so much. I just need to be a
better person. Make her want me again. Be kinder. Be as sweet and loving
as I used to be, and she'll want to spend more time with me. I can do
this. I just would rather not wait for her to get this sort of vacation
out of her system. I hope it doesn't take more than a month. I love her.
--
-slunky
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Author: gathringgathring
Date: Jan 31, 2008 15:16
cometz wrote:
> we put out seed, rodent pellets (for squirrels) and various raw nuts
> for the park wildlife. just toss it on the bare ground and see who
> comes around. today early morning was 12 mourning doves. late morning
> was three squirrels chasing each other up and down the trees trying to
> hog the food. after our shower we looked out the window and there were
> two squirrels, three sparrows, a chickadee, two blue jays, one male
> cardinal, and a most gorgeous red headed woodpecker. they all just
> pick their spots and eat without fussing at one another. the sun was
> shining directly on them and the colors just glowed. we would like to
> just live with wild animals and not many humans.
>
> sorry. not trying to be rude.
>
> betsy and others
>
gathring grabs more coattails.
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Author: gathringgathring
Date: Jan 31, 2008 15:13
cometz wrote:
> short version cause we are very consciously not dealing with this at
> the moment.
>
> today there was a very direct confirmation that we lost three months
> when five years old. no one has any memory. lots of stuff before (not
> very good but remember) and more stuff after. but three months is
> unknown to us. we were told where we were by foo member who knows and
> is truthful. know it is absolutely correct. don't know why but was
> beginning to get deeply triggered by knowing that this time is blank.
> so shut it down. black hole was looming and deep nausea. don't want to
> think on it yet.
>
> hoping we can hold everything in check till next tpy appt. been a long
> time since there was a serious debilitating meltdown. like the hsptl
> kind. don't think that will happen, but don't even like the periods of
> almost that bad.
>
> don't know if anything we just wrote makes sense. very dulled out.
> going to take meds and go to bed. have a dog staying with us and she ...
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