wer waren grn gens an we gots pe sup :)

usses:)

aardvark
barn swallow
cliff swallow
dipper
echinda
free tailed bat
gecko
hedge hog
igauna
japanese hornet
keen's myotis
little brown bat
meerkat
northern flicker
orange spotted emerald dragonfly
pygmy shrew
q
rough skinned neut
skink
tenrec ...

Monday I worked an 11 hour day. got home and cat couldn't lift her tail.
something clearly wrong. I felt it and it didn't seem like tail was broken.
couldn't find a specific spore spot. thought I felt a lump but old cat has
had a cyst back there long time. vet office had checked it out years ago and
said it wasn't a problem

Tuesday and cat tail still isn't normally. it's just dragging down where
normally it sticks straight up in air. we examine tail again and still don't
see anything. cat tries to sit in our lap. she's clearly uncomfortable and
won't lay down. then we find the lump again only it's much much larger. we
are thinking it's an abscess. they aren't fun to treat. been through that
before with a pet. (or worse, a tumor). only things we can think of that
grow that fast

so we took an extra long lunch break and took cat to vet. good news. it is a
cyst. it's gotten infected which doesn't happen all that often. they drain
the cyst and give me antibiotics for cat. took cat home and went back to
work.

home now and cat can lift her tail. she still isn't carrying it normally but
much better then normal. And that's just with cyst drained without
antibiotics yet. whew. very good news

had tapioca pudding this morning. ate a good breakfast first and then
wanted something sweet. we have some tapioca pudding from the store,
or as my grandma used to say "store boughten" pudding. that
differentiated something from all the superior home made foods she
cooked.
love tapioca pudding. right up there with chocolate for us. funny
food. seems to be in the food category of either hate it or love it.
like cilantra. there are others i can't think of now. but seems to be
a group of foods that are universally on one side or the other of the
taste spectrum. unlike stuff like bread or cheese. unless you're
talking gorgonzola. or something.

i think i'm babbling. yes, i am definitely babbling. oh well. off to
shower and then to tutor.

betsy

Spoiler for s*ic*de.

(For those who don't want to go under the spoiler, I'm o.k. Just
sorrowful.)

30

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bedtime

-- astri

======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================

The counsellor (t) has just rang me about ten minutes ago and i've just hit
the ground with a massive bump. Feel like i've just woken up or something
but its twenty to four and i know that i'v been to the library and wandered
around the shops.

Help me i don't like this feeling. I don't know whats been going on or
anything. I feel all funny and woozy. Just need someone to talk to, please.

there's a whole bunch of posts save for reply from me (wolfie) some of them
are really thoughtful replies to things we've written. others were posts
from others who I wanted to offer some support to. I just marked them all
read. I know you all say it's ok, but I feel bad. I don't want to ignore
people. I want to help. I want to be enough. heh, but yes, that's like
bailing a boat with a whole in the bottom. and honestly, some of the posts
are triggering me. I really need to learn how to leave those alone. I just
wish I could do more. I wish none of us had to go through the things we
experience. I wish...I wish for things that just can't be

I did read all the replies you gave me. And yes, I need to pace myself. I
need to learn to let go of some of those details. so, I've marked posts as
read. I'm going to try to be a little more careful about what I read. we've
been having herman come out because life is just too much right now.

and we/I are trying to let some things go without retreating. it would be so
easy to decide we are in surviving mode and just need to focus on basics and
not deal with any of the harder/deeper stuff. I just don't want to keep
circling back on the same stuff over and over.

why, yes, there is. One insider may use "shush" while
another inside uses the work "shhhhh." Nothing to fight
about as they both mean the same thing. Maybe one
or the other is trying to be the boss or something and
only wants "their" word to be used???? One does sound
a little bit harsher then the other.

sorry to hear that. But the good news is that the problems
are coming to surface and then you all can communicate
all that much the better.

sp for
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I hate T. **I** hate T. ME. I. I. I I AM NOT THIS!!!! I am NOT NOT.
"I" am so mad at T, so fricken mad I hate it. NOT ME. This is not ME. ...