well, I don't really think we are manic. we are typically a high energy
person but I've seen what real manic is like. we've had A LOT of caffeine
tdoay. we are wired. we had to really push to get through.

maybe we are manic?

I think though, that's not quite right and it doesn't really matter. it's a
matter of running on adrenaline (and caffeine). of getting the high
functional, work mode as far out as possible. had to get through work. this
is the pattern. we have the things we have to get through and we do. but
then we are still in that place with adrenaline and caffeine and the need to
do something but we are absoultely exhausted and maybe afraid of the crash
so we just keep going. in the past this is where we would get really unsafe.
where some of the worst self-h*rm and overdoses come. and to be honest. we
haven't left it as far behind as we'd like. when we are here it's tempting.
we are going to crash. we are going to get ugly and messy so lets choose
how. let's make it happen.

On 2008-05-29 17:46:38 -0400, mischa said:

hi there.

it's been a really long time since we've last read or posted anythign
here on asd. cant seem to remember when this happened. must've been years.
so ... there are som familiar names - *waves* to RC, JustPete, astri &
Catkejan (to name but a few) - and lots of unfamiliar new ones. well.
just wanting see whether posting still works both technically and
emotionally or whatever we'd call this.
dunno. lots of stuff has changed. nothing has changed. it's still us
mischa's chaos.
us
huh
mischa's chaos