Today was one of those days when the school gets out early. Some
of those days my kids don't go to school, they stay home and do
self directed projects. Today was a small field trip in the am so
they wanted to go. Good thing they did! As we drove out of the
canyon my cellphone rang and it was one of the preschool teachers.
She had hurt herself and needed me to sub. This meant the kids weren't
going to get to do the projects in the pm they had planned as we would
be staying until 4pm instead of leaving at 1:30. Both kids were ok
with this.

I subbed in the am; the kids went to the field trip. Then they came
to the preschool after lunch and immediately just jumped in. They
set up for snack, read to some kids, helped play the limbo and then
fritz taught some kids yoga while kidlette helped the director read/
act out a story. A visiting psychologist just kept saying 'wow, I
can't get over your kids! They are amazing!' Then kidlette kept
the little ones entertained with stories of 'when I was little and
in preschool' and fritz served snack then did dishes and wiped down
tables.

My kids are wonderful :)

Tried to write an update
had to erase it
Thought we were doing good we are
but triggered ourselves. by what we wrote
will try tomorrow.

Trina megan and emilyy of lostunicornsz

My wife called today and said she had good news. We asked if she had a
job, and she snapped back a no, and that she's going to move back to
Utah. We told her she can't stay with us, and it's going to be a very
long time until we'll consider a relationship, and that she has to
change her bahaviors first. This was a very hard thing to do. We want
her back so bad. She's the only other person who knows about the others.
(In fact, she suspected it before I did.) It will be good that my
daughter will be able to see her again soon. We're still really worried.
We were just getting settled again.

Things are quieter now. Going through some hairy spins and turns.
Wishing things were a little brighter, a little better and (high
hopes) a little easier. Switching all the time seems to be just
prolonging the inevitable.....I am 100 percent cr*azy (pausing,
switching, pausing, switching....my day.....all day......everyday......day to
day......).

Someone here once described "falling off a cliff". Didn't identify
with that then, but do now. What an accurate description for such a
desperate feeling. But what happens if I fall? Trip? Even stumble?

Would, I then, stop switching? Would I just get stuck in an endless
piece of me that is trapped by unending, discontented self talk that
will never find solace?

Where is there to possibly go from here? Status quo? What and who is
that? Not acceptable, no but were they ever? Can they ever be? Maybe
being unacceptable is the only acceptable way to be.

Some say it exists here. I trust them. Trust? Hmmm. But some say a
year, some say 3. Stopping chaos is all that matters to gain the
strength and control I need to find the insider who keeps us from
hearing the truth. Coward, hiding. He's a memory.

On Apr 8, 7:51 pm, luthe asarian-host.net> wrote:

Hi Pete, nice to meet you. :))))))))
Sorry, he makes me laugh sometimes.

puddles

Greetings,

Last time I saw my therapist, I was at a complete loss of what to talk
about. I mentioned that there was one song that I had very often
listened to on my car stereo (at a loud volume, somewhat
unsharacteristically for me) whenever I left the sessions.The song is
"Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum (a group that I don't otherwise like
too much). She was unfamilar with it but I had it on my laptop (which
I usually bring with me) so I played it for her. She said that she
could see why I liked the song so much. In any event - I thought that
it might be an interesting exercise to locate the lyrics and produce a
commentary on them, since this particular song is one of a small
handful that seems to capture some of my prevailing moods almost
exactly. I came up with:

[Commentary in square brackets. Lyrics indented.]

Runaway Train by Soul Asylum

[The song title and the group name are both evocative.]

the younger kids have been drivin us crazy singin this and not knowin
all the words. can someone fill in the 'la-la's so mabe they will quiet
down a little?

all around the mulberry bush
the monkey chased the weasel
la-la-lala-la-lalalala
pop goes the weasel

la-lala-lala-lala
la-lala-lala-la
la-lala-lala-lala
pop goes the weasel

sumolderkids of EOC

we're all confused and this computer stuff is complicated. might be sending
the same message lots of times, they won't turn up on the screen.

:( i want to talk to you .......

*reaching out*

X-No-Archive: Yes

Just Pete wrote: