Emailed T all day but no responses. Guess my asd is more caring and
attentive then he is when we are being needy. Wish T could help but
feeling like if I can't trust him to be there when I am in crises then
I am afraid to take that step, that step to get out of this place that
I am in. I think I could take this step if I knew someone was
monitoring, paying attention, making sure I stay safe.

Can't be safe with t if he doesn't respond. He didn't call. He knows I
am not okay this weekend. He knows we are trying to take big big
steps. Why doesn't he know that he needs to "back me up"? At least,
something, some "thing" that would let me know he is there. Is lucky
everyone here has T's that they can call or email or feel as though
they have some kind of contact. oh well, thought I would post the
emails i sent to him today since he didn't respond. Prolly won't even
mention them tomorrow. :(

Maybe they didn't make sense to him?

On May 3, 11:45�am, "Pleiades" sbcglobal.net> wrote:

I have read aabout this one. Apparently it is more common to have a
child alter like this than to not have one. Same as they are saying
below; the ideal child, the child before the ab*se. Positive
protection of who once was. Usually the most protected.

hmmmmm.
wrote in message news:krqdnSiJJ_VdnYDVnZ2dnUVZ8uednZ2d@bt.com...

day 6 of staying away from those bad behaviors. working steps, found
temporary sponsor, and calling people when tempted to act out in those
behaviors. it's other things too

something happened tonight. we switched way way offf. we were starting to
panic and we felt dirty and hot and then "poof" like jill says, we made it
go away., except that means everything goes away and we feel like we aren't
here and hard to think.

it happened when shay was talking about t and closed doors and someitme i'll
have to think about that but not right now. i work tomorrow. we are writing
it down so it can't go poof too.

am i making sense?

is time for sleeping
finally

-- astri

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In article nlpi070.nbdc.sbc.com>,
Pleiades sbcglobal.net> wrote:

You know you're overweight when ...

http://www.hipcow.com/p/0016/overweight/

Crawling out from the space behind the refrigerator, here she comes. A long
train of cobwebs and dust follow behind her, lending her the look of the
"Queen of the Dustbunnies"--the title that is rightfully hers. She looks up
at the kitchen window and smiles. She has strawberry-blonde hair and
dimples in her cheeks. She's the kind of baby that makes you think "Oh I
wish she would stay this age forever," and Pleiades is so lucky, as this
alter seems to be happy to remain a baby. She's *happy,* something that
probably none of the others in the system can say!

Is she from before the abuse started causing the splits? Can anyone offer
an "educated guess" or experience-driven opinion on this!

Pleiades

logging off. still have 77 unread messages, but need to spend some
time with sir lala before going to the airport.

will be back tomorrow from the east coast.

-- astri

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======================
at volcano dot org
======================