> Since i have been doing a bit better lately i decided to volunteer my
> time at a women's safe house that this community has been working on
> trying to get up and running. The coordinator decided that we would
> all benefit from the training that is provided for their victim
> services volunteers.  So four us travelled three hours to where the
> training was held.  I knew that some of the topics would be difficult
> but the saturday was the worst.  The whole afternoon was about suicide
> intervention. There was a lot of judgement from many of the
> participants and the usual stereotypical comments. I got so emotional
> but felt it was best to stay quiet. The more upset i became the more i
> refilled my glass of water and crunched on ice. I think that i
> believed that as long as i had something in my mouth i wouldn't cry. I
> had hoped i would be strong enough to offer the group some insight,
> however, i realized i haven't come that far after all.  Once the
> afternoon sessions were over, i bolted. I wanted to go home but didn't
> have my vehicle so i walked all over this horrible, old cowtown
> feeling incredibly sad and very stuck. Its hard when you realize this
> is probably as good as it gets and i'll never be my old self again. I
> ended up picking up some coolers and sitting in my hotel room that ...

> Since i have been doing a bit better lately i decided to volunteer my
> time at a women's safe house that this community has been working on
> trying to get up and running. The coordinator decided that we would
> all benefit from the training that is provided for their victim
> services volunteers. So four us travelled three hours to where the
> training was held. I knew that some of the topics would be difficult
> but the saturday was the worst. The whole afternoon was about suicide
> intervention. There was a lot of judgement from many of the
> participants and the usual stereotypical comments. I got so emotional
> but felt it was best to stay quiet. The more upset i became the more i
> refilled my glass of water and crunched on ice. I think that i
> believed that as long as i had something in my mouth i wouldn't cry. I
> had hoped i would be strong enough to offer the group some insight,
> however, i realized i haven't come that far after all. Once the
> afternoon sessions were over, i bolted. I wanted to go home but didn't
> have my vehicle so i walked all over this horrible, old cowtown
> feeling incredibly sad and very stuck. Its hard when you realize this
> is probably as good as it gets and i'll never be my old self again. I
> ended up picking up some coolers and sitting in my hotel room that
> night and drinking. Not exactly the best way to cope. ...