Group: alt.startrek · Group Profile
Author: WallyPlingeWallyPlinge Date: Oct 10, 2007 07:00
On Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:39:24 GMT, "PW" SPAMbigpond.net.au>
wrote:
>
>
>
>A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced tossa named WALLY walks into Kmart
>with his two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through
>the entrance.
>
>The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Kmart, nice children
>you've got there. Are they twins?"
>
>The fat ugly tossa named WALLY stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of
>course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why
>the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look
>alike, you d*ckhead?"
>
>"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would
>shag you twice!"
Wow, PWT! They have K-Marts in Perth? You Australasians really are
coming up in the world.
If it takes an IQ of 60 to tie shoelaces, why do so many Australians
wear thongs?
A pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate
Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport
stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. - How long do you intend to stay?
POM - 1 week.
C.O. - What is the nature of this trip?
POM - Business.
C.O. - Do you have any past criminal convictions?
POM - I didn't think we still needed to!
An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to
find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very
delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have
to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've
always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk".
The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of
horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor
said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain
out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
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