Thanks for all the comments. I think that night was a disaster and
somewhat unrecoverable. She has texted me back, happy to have met a
"friend". I'm not going for her any longer. It was either there, or it
wasn't, and from all your pointers, I'm realizing how many things could
have been improved upon.
Nevertheless, I've learned a few things.
"Tell her you can't hear her from the noise and walk her over to an
isolated part of the club so you can avoid distractions."
Yes, I will use that from now on. I went out a few nights ago again and
had trouble with taking the Target away from her friend. I just didn't
know what to do or say. I am an attractive girl, so this gets me in,
but getting an actual *close is a step I have never accomplished but am
working toward. I have too many friends. I would like more action.
Formhandle wrote:
> 58 wrote:
>
>> So I'm halfway through reading The Game. Nevertheless, I'm
>> enthusiastic and wanted to go out last night to try and put forth
>> what I've read so far. Although I'm working through the lesbian
>> scene, I'm trying not to modify the various techniques or methods too
>> much. If evolution is anything, they should work for all women
>> --whether heterosexual or not.
>
> The Game is not a manual or guide. It's a novel, a story. It's not
> written to be instructional.
>
>> I went out last night to a local club. It was alternative night, and
>> although most of patrons are gay men, there are generally a handful
>> of ladies out. Most will be with their gay male counterparts, some
>> will be with friends, and a few will come alone --like me.
>>
>> I walked in late, somewhere around 10:30. Hugged the bouncer
>
> When you say hugged the bouncer - do you mean "gave him the hip-hop
> handshake & back-pat" or do you mean "embraced him tenderly on gay
> night"?
>
>> and walked in to get a beer. I saw a Blonde 8 (will call her Tall)
>> around the side talking with her friend (will call her Short). She
>> turned to eye me and smile a few times. I took this as an IOI.
>
> It's also a good time to walk over and talk.
>
>> I know I'm not supposed to wait long, but I did.
>
> A mistake, and if you're not going to approach her and her friend
> right away after she saw you and already eyed you then you should be
> talkng to others nearby as soon as possible.
>
>> I stood along the side of the room, listening to the techno beats
>> rumbling the walls, boom boom boom.
>
> Sounds like the picture of someone trying to work up his confidence
> but needing time to do so and on the verge of becoming a wallflower.
>
>> I was thinking of an opener, which angle to approach, how to neg, and
>> to be confident and funny.
>
> Over-thinking.
>
>> Then I decided against it. I walked to the bathroom, on my way
>> smiling at her.
>
> Sill didn't approach.
>
>> I got my composure, and then I went back in. I came in at an angle
>> to Tall (the Target). "I'm getting my friend a beer, so I can only
>> stay a minute, but I just wanted to tell you that I saw you, and you
>> have really nice hair." This sounds so silly to me in retrospect,
>> but she really did have nice hair.
>
> You don't do a time-constraint for the purpose of a compliment.
>
>> It wasn't lying. And it definitely was flirting.
>
> Which if detected as flirting before signs from her of real attraction
> will ultimately not work in your favor.
>
>> I put my hand through it, and she smiled and said "Wow, thank you!".
>> Short turned away, and I could tell she was probably thinking I was
>> hitting on her friend and would just have to sit and wait there.
>
> You were hitting on her friend. So the book got you to just go out
> and "do stuff" but sounds like you're still just repeating what you
> might normally have done before - go to a bar, get alcohol, hit on
> girls by complimenting them.
>
>> Tall immediately started asking me questions, like where I'm from and
>> what I do. I answered them quickly and turned to Short and asked her
>> what she was drinking. She smiled, and I don't remember what beer
>> she had. I was trying not to focus all of my attention on Tall just
>> yet.
>
> Making small talk and asking about what they're drinking is what every
> other guy does. What exactly did you pick up from the novel that you
> felt was instructional? Did it just inspire you to go out versus not
> out and continue to do everything the same as you might have before?
>
>> We made small talk, and I tried my best to include Short in as much
>> of the conversation as possible. However, with the first glance (IOI
>> #1) and then the load of questions she immediately asked me when I
>> walked up (IOI #2), should I have just forgot about negging?
>
> What negs? And why would you think you need to use a neg here?
>
>> When my mind started to get a little flustered, I smiled and said I
>> had to go and give my friend the beer I bought. They said okay, and
>> then I left.
>
> And saw as you walked over to a non-friend?
>
>> A few minutes later, when the music got better, I walked back in and
>> saw them to about to approach the dancefloor. I split them and said,
>> "You all look like you're just about to jump in, but then you're not
>> sure yet. So which is?" They both laughed, and after a few more
>> seconds, they then proceeded onto the floor.
>
> You're just telegraphing more interest, after ejecting after
> complimenting and having a chit-chat about boring stuff like every
> other guy... and not even following through directly.
>
>> It's unfortunate. I'm not a great dancer.
>>
>> I stayed along the side to watch, but then I felt like a creep.
>
> Yeah that is creepy. Where's your beer friend?
>
>> Luckily my friend came by, and I tried to show him which was the
>> Blonde 8.
>
> Yeah, that always works. Stand just by the girls as they dance, and
> point them out to your friend, like a fantasy trophy.
>
>> He agreed with my finding, and after a while I went to the bathroom
>> again.
>
> Did you even read the novel? It may not be instructional but the
> title is not "The Typical Unproductive Behavior".
>
>> When I came out to wash my hands, there was Tall. She looked at me
>> and smiled and tried to start up another conversation with me (IOI #3?).
>
> Stop counting IOIs and just presume it. Tell her you can't hear her
> from the noise and walk her over to an isolated part of the club so
> you can avoid distractions. You should have also indicated to your
> friend to make sure he kept her friend busy so she wouldn't feel left
> out while this was happening and not to cockblock you later looking to
> pull her friend away.
>
>> We talked about what my future plans were, where the good clubs are,
>> blah, blah, blah.
>
> Stop having idle pointless chit-chat. Did the novel tell you to have
> pointless chit-chat? At this point the only reason she would continue
> with you doing this is:
>
> - She's already attracted to you, but not because of your behavior but
> because perhaps you're good-looking to her and all she wants is to
> talk to an attractive guy.
>
> - She's bored and you're the only guy who talked to her, but that's
> all and she's not thinking anything more, and you're certainly not
> going to get any further having boring idle conversations.
>
>> In my head, I was thinking --I don't want to Number-Close. I want to
>> fucking Kiss-Close. I've got enough numbers.
>
> So far there's nothing to indicate you were anywhere near that unless
> she was falling over drunk and grabbing at you.
>
>> There we were, talking and laughing. The door opened, and in walked
>> my girlfriend (Huge Obstacle).
>
> This is retarded. Obviously you picked a place your girlfriend is
> likely to go to, perhaps this is a small town or whatever. You didn't
> prepare for that possibility. Also, going out to pick up girls after
> reading "The Game" when you already have a girlfriend who doesn't know
> you would be out meeting other girls, but likely to bump into you when
> doing so, is just asking for trouble and complication.
>
>> Busted.
>
> Busted at what? You might s well have been at a bank teller making a
> joke.
>
>> She had been out with her friends that night and was supposedly not
>> coming home until late. What to do here.
>
> What's she doing out with her friends without you? You're somehow
> doing something different than her? Or are you supposed to stay home
> with the cat and wait patiently while she's out and probably flirting
> with other men?
>
>> I stood there, silently.
>
> Like a statue that feels guilty for something inane.
>
>> Tall immediately looked at her and said, "Um, I don't think I know you."
>>
>> Huge Obstacle left the bathroom, and I proceeded to try and salvage
>> the situation. We talked more about other bars and clubs, and I
>> asked her for her number. Number-Closed.
>>
>> She said she has exams but would love to go out with "us" sometime.
>
> "Us"? What does that mean?
>
>> Do I text her? Do I forget this one? What should I have done when
>> Huge Obstacle entered the scene?
>
> I think you should have frozen up even more and then acted
> robotically, perhaps even started dancing "the robot" and act like
> your circuits were frying. Then after getting the number say
> something along the lines of "we'll go out somewhere sometime and do
> something, maybe even something else"
>
>> Yours,
>> 58
>
> Take the time to understand the materials the novel is referring to.
> Don't be like most shmoes who read it and just go out without any
> inkling of what anything is about, save for referencing "IOI" but
> otherwise running through the same behavior you might otherwise do
> when out meeting women.
>
