On Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:01:05 GMT, TagoMago
RossJeffriesSpeedSeduction.com> wrote:
>SuicideKing
gmail.com> writes:
>>> Hello everybody...
>>
>
>Greetings.
>
>Where did you get your nick name from?
(a video game, but it's fitting for where I've been)
It's actually a combination of Suicide (something I've lived with)
and an old nickname I used when I played online.
There is also a squad called the 242nd SuicideKings in Freespace
2, and just by coincidence, lol, so I figure it's a damn good nickname
considering what I've been through. I've been suicidal most of my
life (since 10-11 ish) and have made some pretty big discoveries in
terms of how guys can get so bad.
1) Extremely sensitive nervous system
2) Born into a state of 'diffused' pain and agitation (i.e. you're low
energy and doing activities is agitating/aggrivating on the nerves, so
you avoid sports, etc, while growing up)
Anyway theres more to it but I'm sure that's enough rofl.
>
>> I currently on disability with my folks, have no friends and my last
>> relationship of any length was almost a decade ago (2 years, 34 year
>> old woman). In my time away from the world I have learned a hell of
>> a lot and pursued my intellectual interests.
>>
>
>Some men come from lower places in the game, don't worry.
Yep, the thing I'm more worries about is my inability to hold a job,
not having interviewed in forever. I'm pretty low energy / easily
agitated.
>> Now I have aspergers syndrome (diagnosed @ 20 roughly) and this
>> means that I cannot (easily) predict how what I will say will effect
>> someone. I also cannot do any behaviour prediction and "get into
>> other peoples heads" unless it is at the extremes, (i.e. being
>> mean, cursing, etc) and it also makes it somewhat difficult to read
>> body language. (although I did the newbie mission "say hi to 50
>> people" and I picked up on it at the local mall).
>>
>
>How much of this do you think you can pickup on an intellectual level?
>If you lack the emotions, can you gain the consciousness? Surley, you
>can work on your own body langue and language, set out a list of
>words, subjects, conversational threads you allow yourself to use?
Well I can pick up body language somewhat when I am *talking* it
seems that when I try to go and engage others my social circuits
kick in like I'll say "That person looks busy, ec, in a hurry, bla bla
bla", but I'm pretty slow at it but I can probably learn it if pointed
to videos that express it, I know I can pick up some naturally via
practice but it will be a rough road...
>> I've gotten down that I need to not run from expressing myself
>> (i.e. be comfortable in my own skin and project good feelings since
>> feelings "leak" and your body is always transmitting your internal
>> state and can be read by others).
>>
>
>I am not sure what you are saying here?
I'm saying this: what you are feeling on the inside comes out in your
bodylanguage... I didn't know that until I was 22, I thought I could
"hide" my feelings and turtle in school (I was very nervous/anxious
gaurded).. I have since learned abit from the few videos
here and there.
Basically: Always try to put yourself into a positive state, and be
calm, I am a visual thinker, when we get anxious what we are
really doing is being afraid of simply expressing ouselves (try to
imagine your body is a mech as in mechwarrior the computer game,
and your ego inside is the little man, whatever that little man
feels, effects his ability to control the body, and hence if
he's scared, agitated, anxios, your body will show it... lol).
>> I'm not sure about how to go restarting exactly, I live in a small
>> town and since I have been so closed off from the world I need
>> suggestions. I'm willing to do whatever you suggest (or whatever it
>> takes) Just need some guidance on how one goes about making friends
>> (it's been so damn long!), also any material would be good too since
>> my interests are so limited and I've been so isolated.
>>
>
>I am going to be a realist and say, what are your options for getting
>away from your little town, if only on the weekends and such?
Uhh well not so hot, I got like barely few grand to my name, no car,
and a resume that is utter crap, but if I could get put up somehow
by someone in the city, the closet city would be toronto or
barrie (I'm in canada).
>> My main interests were basically philosophy, video games, studying
>> pickup (on and off), stuff I've read:
>>
>> Mystery method
>> Venusian arts
>> Double your dating
>> A little bit of juggler (his ebook).
>> The game
>>
>
>Kill your TV, burn your Video games.
Yeah I don't watch TV, I mainly surf, read a bit about pickup here and
there researching my interests.
My big weakness is conversation (I'm not a talker), and I find it
rough to keep a conversational "flow" without slowing down and
being gaudy like this girl here... She has AS as well..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jcNuha9fvA
Notice how she'll slow down when she tries to think of the next thing
to say I'm like that as well, it has something to do with memory and
motor deficits but I'm sure it can be overcome quite a bit with
practice, obviously she hasn't had to do anything like that heh.
>> Now we have a Gym in town, I am somewhat overweight (not severely
>> obsese though but chunky enough, like ... 200 lbs, 5'11)
>>
>
>Do you not know what needs to be done on this level?
Yeah I've lost the weight before... for most of my life I was 190lbs
when I had the relationshp with the older woman I ballooned up
to 230lbs, from 20-25'ish I was betweeen 200-210, then @ 27 I lost
40lbs in 3 months doing simply cardio (walks 4/hrs day, mornings or
evenings) and went to 160 everyone shit their pants... and
I started gettng attention, felt really good.. then I got hit
again with a downspell hah.
I was just wondering if it would be beneficial to go to the gym just
for "social adjustment". Not sure if it's worth it though.
>> I'm not exactly sure how I would go about re-friendly with both guys
>> and gals, with the condition I am in. Since it's a small town (less
>> then 15,000), should I worry about stigma, etc?
>>
>
>Start with your wardrobe and if you don't talk much, talk more, if you
>talk a lot talk less.
Yeah I need to talk more, I don't talk much at all.. but about what??
that's the thing, not having socialized in a long time, and not having
any friends or people to talk to, your kinda blank.. especially when
I've filled my mind with intellectual interests, anime, video games,
haven't watched a real movie in ages.... I'd need a kickstart, some
kind of framework. culturally out of the loop, and I listen to narrow
range of music from media (movies, games, etc).
My mind doesn't socially pre-process thoughts. So it makes it
difficult know what NOT to say and stay away from.
If you're interested, pick up (at store or your local library)
"Aspergers syndrome the complete guide" by tony attwood.
I can post some stuff from it from the chapters, or scan some.
I'll skim it and see if I can't pull out interesting stutff.
I don't have an "inner social dialogue" when I'm out and about, about
people, I am usually thinking about some problem or daydreaming while
listening to music.
>> I'll be keeping a blog of my progress.
>>
>
>Whats the URL?
