Scruff's Review: The Wingman's Handbook

Author: Unknown
Publisher: Unknown - electronic only

"The wingman is arguably the noblest creature to ever step into a
barroom.

Who else, with cavalier disregard for his personal reputation, is so
willing to throw himself upon the cruel mercies of a brazen man-hater,
just so his buddy can hook up with a sorority girl with big gazongas?
Who else, with just a hint of a grimace, will selflessly dirty dance
with a creature so hideous that no amount of hard liquor will wash the
stain from his memory? Who else, especially if he's loaded to the
gills, will stand in the deepest depths of hell just so a pal can climb
up his back into hook-up heaven?"

With an opening statement like this, how could any respecting PUA put
down this light guide to the rules of Wingmaning? Such a noble
art-form, yet how often do we forget the benefits of having such a
friend. Perhaps you and you're wing take it in turns to lay yourself
at the gigantic feet of heffer mercy. If so, then this is for you.

We've all been there, taking one for the team, letting yourself be
the ball in a game of hide the ball in the fucking fat girl.

Someone asked me for some more interesting, unusual reviews, and it
just so happened, that this one fell into my lap just a few days ago.
I've passed on this message to a small group of fellow PUAs and I'm
anxious to hear their views.

I do believe it was Ross Jefferies that first coined the term
'Wingman', a term adopted from the mighty, hard hitting,
dog-fighting movie starring our favourite midget scientologist - Tom
Cruise.

Of course, this is totally against the grain when it comes to PU. Us
Pick Up Artists pledge our lives to developing the linguistic and
physical skills to seduce the hottest woman nature has been so kind to
deliver to the world (or a surgeon for that matter).

But we all know the value of a quality wingman, the guy you can turn
to, look in the eye and see that willingness to sacrifice himself just
so you can isolate that HB9. At that time, that man is your hero;
stepping in to give the cockblocking heffers a taste of their own
medicine; metaphorically flipping and spinning in a graceful dance that
distracts and deters the attentions of every cockblocker within a
thousand yards.

And when it comes to the crunch, at the end of the night, when you're
desperate to f-close the big titted blonde with the 'fuck me' eyes,
you know that this man will bow out in a suicidal flaming fireball of
hippo-lovin'.

Whether or not you are one of these guys, willing to go all the way for
your brother in arms, this short 7 page book is a must. Its
entertaining descriptions, heartwarming 'Flight Missions' (Field
Reports) make your heart yearn at the sacrifices willing to be made by
such selfless brothers.

This short book does not seem to have been written by a Pick-Up Artist
of our creed, evident by the language and glossary of popular terms.
Alternative 'Air Force' style words have been adopted in comparison to
our commonly used terms. These include:

Bombing Target/Betty - the Target HB
Getting Pinged - Regular EC with your Target
Flak - Active Cockblocking
Flight Leader - The PUA on approach
Air Superiority - building comfort and setting the frame
Yank and Bank - Isolating

And my personal favourite:

Dogfight - Dancing with the Cockblocker

The book further gives a dshort explanation of the different types of
Cockblockers (CB) that a Wingman may have to deal with: Cinderella's
Sister, the Den Mother and the dreaded Brumhilda, and some basic
techniques that can be used to neutralize this threat. There is also
some tips on how to best use a Wingman (WM), among other things,
explaining that it is always best for the Wingman to open the set
first, and then to signal the Flight Leader (FL) to enter once some
rapport has been developed between the WM and CB. It explains that for
the most affective 'Bombing Run' the Wingman should attempt to
isolate the CB instead of the FL isolating the Betty - this increases
the FLs chance of success as its far less obvious as a seduction move.

This book has given an interesting twist to seduction through the use
and eyes of a Wingman, giving some alternative techniques to our usual
'flying solo. Of course, the risks to the Wingman are high, and not all
of us would be willing to take the ultimate kamikaze sacrifice for
anyone, but there are still useful tips to block a cockblocker. If you
are like me, suffering from a bad case of One-itis, your willingness to
maneuver the Cockblocker from the radar of your fellow PUA and endure
boring drole conversations about her pie collection is an important
skill. One which it looks like I will be practicing in the near future.

Those who have the fortune to sarge with me; count yourself lucky -
and you will owe me a drink!

Hail. Hail.

Scruff.