> Tonight I had a day2 with the Russian HB 7 (now demoted to 6) that I
> met at the Russian party and made out with last Saturday. I've been
> emailing back and forth with her this week and told her to come out
> tonight after work and that we'd get drinks. And I tried to play it by
> the book.
>
> 1) She called when she was leaving work. I told her I'd just finished
> having dinner with my friends and was back at my apartment. I told her
> to meet me at my apt. and that we'd leave from here. She seemed
> hesitant on the phone and suggested we meet at the bar. I didn't give
> up and said "No, I don't want to be waiting around for you there, it's
> easier if you just come to my apt. first." So she did.
Cool. Good pull.
> 2) When she got the door I opened up, and she was not nearly as hot as
> I remembered. I tried to act natural but I didn't give her a big hug
> and kiss her on the lips, the instant attraction wasn't there and so I
> just gave her a sort of half-hug and kissed her on the cheek. Told her
> I was busy/got caught up in work stuff and would just take a second.
> Messed around with some spreadsheets on my laptop for a minute or two
> while she perused the books on my coffee table. Then she went to the
> bathroom, presumably to check out how dirty it is (it's very clean).
Surprise, right?
> 3) Finished up what I was doing on the laptop, grabbed my coat and we
> left. On the way out the building I started kino'ing her, rubbing her
> back and holding her hand to re-build the attraction. We walked in the
> freezing cold to the bar. This place has a section with tables, and
> also has a section with a long upholstered seat against the wall,
> tables, and chairs on the other side.We went to the side of the place
> with the long upholstered seat - she sat down on it and instead of
> sitting on the chair on the other side of the table, I also went on her
> side so I could still kino her.
>
> 4) We got margaritas and talked for about 30 minutes. I was joking
> around a lot and completely controlling the frame (at least I think so,
> but I know I still have major frame control problems - ok, to be honest
> I'm not 100%% sure what "controlling the frame" means, but it sounds
> cool - lol).
Controlling the frame basically just means that you are the one that
controls how everyone is feeling. If you want her to feel good, she does,
by what you do. If you want her excited, or depressed, or horny... if you
control the frame, you get her into those states.
> 5) At some point I kissed her. We did some fun role-playing and
> flirting. I told her a story about my childhood (how I became an
> actor). I didn't stack anything or use any routines, I just improvised,
> but I was definitely not AFC, I was doing my best cocky/funny (which is
> usually either too cocky, making me look like a dick, or too funny,
> making me look clownish). But I think I got it right.
Good. Hopefully, you got some of her value and trance words, too. Toss
those in and she should be thinking that you two are made for each other.
> 6) I paid for our two drinks but only because the bill was $18. I put
> down $22. No big deal. I work at a multinational corporation and they
> pay me well. But I also paid for her drink at the party last week. So
> if I continue to pay for things I know I'm falling back into AFC
> territory. Need help here.
Only worry about it if it's something you'd not normally do. But, you
could mention she gets the next round.
> 7) We walked outside. She says to me "Are you going to kill me now and
> dispose of my body in the river?" I look around and go, "Not yet, I
> have to make sure nobody's watching." I chuckle then I nudge her and go
> "How do I know you're not going to kill ME?" and she goes "Good point"
> so I think I'm ok. There is a footpath and a park near my apartment
> where I like to walk and sit with girls. It's a good makeout spot, but
> not this time of year because it's FREEZING outside. After walking a
> bit, she starts to complain that it's so cold and she wants to go
> inside. So we go through the back door of my apt. building. As we're
> going in, she says she's going home and not coming inside. I'm thinking
> "OK, here comes the LMR, play it cool."
GOOD comeback!
> 8) She walks through the lobby and halfway to the elevators before
> stopping. At this point it's only 11 PM. So I give her shit about being
> lame for going home before it's even midnight. In my mind I'm thinking
> "there's no way she actually wants to go home, she's just fucking with
> my head." So I sort of lead her to the elevators, but not in a way that
> makes me look desperate. I am saying things to her like "You are not
> seriously considering going home, are you? Give me a break." I also
> used a time constraint and told her "I have to get up early tomorrow so
> you can't stay late anyway."
>
> 9) Finally I convinced her to get in the elevator and we go to my apt.
> First she won't even take her boots off. But I put on a movie and after
> a little while she relaxes a bit and we cuddle on the couch while
> watching the movie. My situation here is awkward because in my
> apt.there is a living room with a couch and a big TV, and doors leading
> to my bedroom and my roomie's bedroom. She knows my roomie is in his
> room but I've told her he's a hermit and never comes out of his room.
> After a little while we are making out on the couch and she is cool
> with it.
Good. Push/pull time.
> 10) Here's where I have trouble. She keeps wanting to watch the movie.
> Of course I know the movie is only a pretense to get her to come to my
> apartment so that I can fool around with her. But she knows this too.
> We keep making out for about 30-45 seconds and then going back to
> watching the movie. After a little while we start with a little
> petting, I am massaging her thighs and her back now when I make out
> with her and at some point put my hand up her shirt and massage her
> breast. But every time we have a little makeout session, we eventually
> go back to watching the movie.
Watching the movie IS her LMR. Anything that happens will "just happen"
while you're watching the movie. It'll be a slow long buildup, that's
all. But, the bust out will be SWEEEET!!!
> 11) She tells me she is going to leave soon. I know she thinks she is
> in control and I am getting annoyed by all this resistance. At some
> point during the movie, I decide to try something. I say "I'll be right
> back" and get up and walk into my bedroom (since I know telling her to
> go with me will not work). I sit in my chair and start typing on my
> computer, checking my email. She stays in the other room and gets
> upset, she says loudly "Are you checking your email?"
Well... maybe a good idea, if she wasn't letting you push/pull. It's an
escallation of pullback, assuming she wasn't letting you move into
heavier petting or such.
> 12) I say, "Well yeah, you're leaving anyway, right?" This is a neg
> designed to get her to come into the bedroom to give me a piece of her
> mind, at which point I will jump her. But she actually gets mad at me
> and starts putting on her boots to leave. Now maybe she is just upset
> because she is used to being in control and I am not playing her stupid
> games. I know I'm not supposed to say I'm sorry and beg her to stay -
> that would be too AFC'ish. So I'm acting like I don't care if she
> leaves.
That's not a neg. A neg is a negative compliment used to open a person.
You're way past negs. That's more of a push. Your way of saying...
"Either we escalate or date's over, hon!"
> 13) I go back in the TV room saying something smooth and grab her and
> we immediately go down on the couch making out again. There's a lot of
> sexual tension now, I feel her up a little bit and we are grinding
> against each other but after maybe 60 seconds she gets up and goes "I
> really need to get back to Brooklyn, be a gentleman and show me to the
> door." Basically at this point I'm so annoyed I want to slap her, but I
> don't show this on my face - I am totally cool. She gets up and puts on
> her jacket, I give her a little kiss and say "Bye Natasha." She walks
> out of the apartment and to the elevator - I leave the door ajar and
> hide behind it, watching her through the peephole.
If you're really anoyed... point and say... door's right there. ;) I'm
assuming the movie was not yet finished. If so, then she wasn't watching
it either. Something turned her off. Could be because someone else was
there. Next time, swear no one else is there. If it wasn't the fact that
you weren't alone... then it's something about not enough push/pull.
> 14) She can see that the door is still open, but she walks to the
> elevator. Turns around, looks briefly. The elevator comes and she gets
> on it. Game over.
>
> OK, here's how I see it. I feel like if I'm skilled I should be able to
> get a lay on the day2. But this girl seems to enjoy resisting. The
> thing that annoys me is she's NOT hot enough to justify it. She is only
> a Russian Jewish chick with a voluptuous figure and is barely
> good-looking enough to be fuckable. But she is prissy as all hell and
> carries herself like she's the Queen of New York.
Why? Why on day 2? Why not get it one Day 1? Or day 3? Or even Day 5?
There's no magic key, dude. Some gals are tougher than others. Some melt
like butter... others like solid ice. If she's not worth the time,
though... then next her. Maybe give her one more quasi-date, like coffee
or such. And if it's not worth it... next her.
> Now I have much hotter prospects than her all around me. I've been
> flirting with girls all week and even email-closed a cute Asian chick
> on Tuesday. Russian girl MUST know she's not the only girl I've got my
> eye on but she still acts like she's the shit. I don't get it and I
> don't buy into it. She seems frustrated that I'm not acting AFC and I'm
> frustrated that she's not jumping me. My read of the situation is that
> she wants to fuck me, but she wants ME to be begging for it. She is
> attracted to my too-cool-to-care attitude, but she doesn't want to give
> it up too soon or she'll feel a slut.
Well... yeah. What, she's supposed to just bow down for you? Not all
women are quite like that. She likely is going through exactly what you
said... she's horny as hell... but knows that if she gives it up, you'll
be gone the next day. So, the question is... where's she getting that
feeling from? And more importantly... how do you convince her that it's
not going to happen like that? You need to get her LMR values and then
repeat them to her.
> If I knew a lot of patterns, felt comfortable doing shit like the
> Cube/Strawberry Fields/etc. then maybe I could have turned this into a
> lay. I'm not there yet. But if I could understand what I did
> fundamentally wrong, I'm sure I could learn from this experience.
> Feedback PLEASE. Thanks all.
You're doing fine. But, I'd guess she's picking up on your vibes. You
have two that I bet she's feeling... #1: You want to fuck her. #2: You
don't really consider keeping her for much more than a fuck.. maybe two.
She's feeling that. You have to listen to what she says and then use her
own feelings and fears to blast through her ASD/LMR shield. It sounds
like she's scared that the moment she gives it up, you'll drop her. Get
her talking about the past... about some time where she was afraid
something bad was gonig to happen, but it turned out to be great. then
listen carefully for the words she uses that trigger her anti-fears.
Repeat them, in a context like that to her.
Just FYI... my favorite ASD/LMR weapon... is to use it first. No defense
is better than a first strike. I'll heat her up a bit... get to some
heavy kissing, just before the point that petting would start up... then
I pull back. And... "Oh... I have to slow down. My last relationship
started out like this... it was REALLY hot. sex on the first date, even.
And I don't want that. I don't want to get hurt. I want to take it slower
with you." Then go back to a bit of fluff and light kissing.
In about ten minutes, she'll be peeling your pants off while she's saying
"I thought you wanted to take it slow." "I did. You're seducing me. I
know it. But I can't stop myself any more. I want you too much now." I
think you can figure out how to carry on from there. ;)
--
She wants to meet a man and God dammit! I am a man! == Scruff
