> I'm a 25 year old male living in Los Angeles. I've been told that I
> possess a number of qualities that women find attractive: good looks,
> intelligence, wit, subtle authoritative demeanor, a strong college
> education, promising job, etc. I will admit, however, that when it
> comes to women, I lack confidence. I think if I had to attribute that
> to something, it would be my strict Catholic upbringing (I attended an
> all boy's grade school which severely limited my exposure to the
> opposite sex growing up).
>
> I recently traveled to Vegas with a number of friends two weekends ago.
> We decided to check out the nightclub Jet in the Mirage on Friday
> night. In my best peacocking attempt, I opted to wear a grey suit to
> the club, which successfully drew a lot of attention -- probably good
> and bad. At around 12 in the morning several drinks in, I was on the
> dance floor by myself, trying to get a lay of the land and spot any
> potential targets. Before I had a chance to pick one out, I was
> approached by a beautiful, elegantly dressed girl of Chinese-Vietnamese
> descent. Before I could even say hello, she began dancing with me in a
> very suggestive manner, staring me in the eyes the entire time. Her
> friend, a guy she later described as a "notorious cockblocker,"
> initially tried to drag her away from me, but she refused. Eventually
> I told the guy to get lost, and he walked away, leaving this girl to
> myself. I smiled, asked her for her name, and we began to exchange
> small talk. I cracked a number of jokes which she seemed to find
> funny, and the sexual nature of our dancing began to gradually rise.
> Eventually, I threw her up on a nearby ledge and started making out
> with her in front of everyone. The kissing grew more heated, and I
> took that as a green light to move south and begin rubbing her pussy
> through her panties. She whispered to me, "I have to get back to my
> friends now, but you're so hot -- I'm going to finish you off before I
> leave here." I quickly exchanged numbers with this girl and decided to
> leave the club entirely.
>
> The following morning, she began to send me a lot of text messages,
> repeatedly complimenting my looks, telling me that I turn her on, and
> thanking me for being so much fun the previous night. We decided to
> meet up for drinks at a bar in the Luxor (ironically, we were both
> staying in the Luxor... on the same fucking floor) in the afternoon.
> It was here where I started to get to know the girl: she was a 21 year
> old college student at UCSD majoring in economics (I majored in
> finance), she was really into philosophy, notably existentialism (my
> favorite form of philisophical thought), she loved jazz music,
> especially Miles Davis and John Coltrane (my two favorite artists), she
> appreciates a goofy sense of humor and intelligence (noting that she
> felt I had both), she was single and just looking to meet new people
> and have a good time, etc. Needless to say, I thought she was really
> cool, down to earth, and shared an unusual amount of interests and
> personality traits with me. I definitely wanted to fuck the shit out
> of her before I left Vegas. I asked her what she was doing that night,
> and she said she and her friends were planning on checking out Pure in
> Caesar's Palace. I told her that my friends and I were going to Tao in
> the Venetian, but that we should meet up later to hang out. She agreed
> and told me that she would give me a call if her plans changed.
>
> Anyway, while my friends and I were on our way to the Venetian, I got a
> text message from this girl telling me that her group had changed their
> minds and also were also going to go to Tao. I took this as a clear
> indicator that she had every intention of fucking me that night, and my
> excitement soared through the roof. Once we got there, we met up in
> the lobby, and much to my surprise, she only brought along one friend:
> an equally attractive girl in her early 30s she described as "her
> coworker back in San Diego." When I asked where all her guy friends
> were, she said that she ditched them so she could hang out with me.
> When we got into the club, we immediately went to the dance floor.
> This girl was all over me, so much that we ultimately went outside to
> make out in a corner of the balcony. Eventually, she decided that she
> wanted to leave early so we could go back to my hotel room. On the cab
> ride back to Luxor, I pushed aside her panties and started fingering
> her in the backseat of the minivan. I don't think I've ever felt a
> pussy that wet in my entire life, and let me tell you something, this
> pussy was the HOLY GRAIL as far as I'm concerned: shaved, incredibly
> wet, perfect lips, devoid of any scent, and tight as can be. When we
> got back to my hotel, some of my friends were already back in the room
> sleeping, but it didn't seem to phase her at all. We had already
> picked up some condoms, and we just decided to fuck right there in the
> bed while these guys were conked out. I'll spare you the details, but
> I banged this girl for a solid two hours in my bed, and later the
> shower, on top of the toilet, the sink, and finally the bathroom floor.
> It was, BY FAR, THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
>
> The next morning she had to leave early, so we exchanged goodbyes and
> she told me that she was really glad we met and that she would call me
> later. During the following week, this girl texted me and called me
> constantly, sending me pictures of herself on her cell phone several
> times and telling me that she wanted to come up to LA and hang out in a
> couple weeks. One of our conversations on the phone lasted over 3
> hours -- I felt like I was in high school again -- and she gave me
> extremely strong IOIs like: "I have a huge crush on you," "I didn't
> expect to meet a guy so sweet," "I like the fact that you are older
> than me," "I told my mom and all my friends that I met a really cute
> guy in Vegas," "I love how you are so intelligent," "you are so
> funny!," "I just wanted to call to hear the sound of your voice," "I
> can't wait to drive up to LA to see you," etc. I felt for sure that,
> at the very least, I was going to be able to take this girl out several
> times on dates and get some action. In terms of best case scenario, I
> definitely viewed this girl as a potential girlfriend if everything
> fell into place perfectly. But unfortunately, everything fell apart
> that Friday.
>
> Breaking behavior, she ended one of our IM conversations abruptly on
> Friday afternoon, saying that she just received a phone call and was
> "getting grilled." I didn't hear from her at all for the rest of the
> day, which I thought was extremely unusual given the fact she normally
> contacted me like clockwork every two or three hours. The following
> morning, she IMed me, apologized for not getting back to me the prior
> evening, and stated that she was going through a really difficult
> period at the moment that she needed to work out.
>
> My heart sunk immediately -- I knew it had to be drama of some kind
> with an ex boyfriend. Sure enough, she told me that she received a
> call from her ex-boyfriend on Friday, a San Diego local she had dated
> seriously for two years but broke up with four months ago. Apparently
> she "love[s] him" and considers him her "soulmate", but she decided to
> end the relationship because she had reservations about being committed
> at that point in her life and wanted genuinely to be single. Anyway,
> this guy apparently had been calling her every couple days, begging her
> to get back together with him, and that Friday just so happened to be
> his birthday. He must have laid the guilt trip on thick, because she
> informed me that for a while, she considered getting back together with
> him and trying to work things out, but woke up on Saturday and simply
> had too many reservations. She said she broke off all contact with him
> that morning and was an emotional wreck. When I told her that I didn't
> care about the ex and I just wanted to see what would happen between us
> if we hung out a few times, she replied, "Sorry, not to be blunt, but
> nothing is going to happen. I'm sorry for leading you on." I chalked
> up this reaction initially to her shaky emotional state, and I told her
> that time heals all wounds and she would start to feel better in a few
> weeks. I asked her bluntly if she was attracted to me, to which she
> replied "yes." I felt like if I gave her some space, I was still very
> much in the game, especially because she is only 21 and very
> impressionable. She told me that she definitely wanted to stay in
> touch, and that she probably just needed space for a while.
>
> Unfortunately, however, I took Friday's events pretty hard and started
> to feel depressed. My experience in Vegas was such an emotional high,
> so to hear from this girl that she was "leading me on" and didn't think
> anything would happen between us in the future was extremely difficult
> to stomach. I proceeded to get completely hammered that day watching
> college football, and like the fucking idiot I am, lost all self
> control and apparently drunk dialed her six times in a row that night
> while she was out to eat with her parents and some relatives. After
> the sixth call, she sent me a text: "Please do not contact me again."
>
> When I woke up the following morning and read her text, I knew
> immediately that I must have done or said something extremely stupid
> the following night. I sent her an IM and apologized for contacting
> her, explaining that I just got extremely drunk and had no recollection
> of what happened. She told me that she was distraught all day and
> really didn't want to talk to anyone, and thus was "really taken aback
> by all the phone calls." She then explained that the calls really
> embarassed her in front of her family, and that she didn't want me to
> contact her any longer. When I tried again to apologize, she replied
> with the IM: "Stop!", and I haven't heard from her since. It has now
> been a full week since we last talked.
>
> Look, even though I lack confidence, I've had my fair share of
> opportunities with women, and I'm normally a resilient guy. I try not
> to let experiences like this bother me, but needless to say, I was
> really into this girl. I know 99.9%% of you guys will tell me to chalk
> this one up in the loss column and move on, but are there any
> optimistic, persistent people here who think I have a slight chance to
> reconcile this situation if I play it right? Any advice would be
> greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your help.