Dang, this thread has calmed down... thanx the spirits!!

Well.. Today i had that feeling again.. This time i was ready for it.
Lets just say i am not affraid of death, death is a process of life...
I see it as an eternal dream. In fact, i 'THOUGHT (past tense)' that i
will go to the other world in about 3 months (still a possibility).
All signs today were bad for me.. Walked to McD's for breakfest at
about 6 30, doors were locked, because the doors open at 7 (they lost
my buisness!), failed at a 20 dollar scratch game (money is a factor
of my life, but when i decided to end it in 3 months, what the heck,
hehe, money isnt anything), then waited for the bus to work... 20 min
wait... in the cold... SO yeah, such a bad sign at the start of the
day..... Then through out the train ride to work, i was just thinking
on what to bring with me.. you know, like the pharoes in egypt, they
were buried with certain items, with me.. i will bring what ineed;
books, martial arts gi, ect ect... I did not shed a tear this time...
I see life as a shining armor knight, a samurai, an honorable person,
who would want one person in their life and no one else.. Just love
one person, like past cultures, but that is not the norm for today's
culture.......

OK, with that said, still being gloomy, i decided to get off my
normal route and got get some breakfest, if i had 2 sandwiches from
McD's, i wouldnt have done this little detour. But yeah, while wating
in line today, at Dunkin Donuts, i got a Maple something sandwich (i
am not plugging.. infact, that sandwhich taste like crap). YET while
waiting in line.. I saw this BEAUTIFUL tall asian woman.. The kind
that i always wanted, the kind that makes men tremeble just thinking
of someone of this beauty. I did not approach, i wasnt in the mood.
What i did was just scopping her out, looking at her cloths (buisness
woman), looking at her hands (no ring on the left, single? But a few
rings on the right, anyone knows if this is a sign of being single?).
Not only that, the employees of D&D knew her order!!! Meaning she is a
regular!!! I have to step out of my mold, chances like this wont come
once again.So coming monday, i will approach her. If i fail, fine, but
i will not. I will come in direct/indirect. I will plan my game just
for her. Hehe, i wrote down some qualities i want in a woman, she fits
most of them from that oggling i did of her! I dont see her as an
object, i see her as an obstical, a game, and something that i have to
play in order to build exp. So how long will that interaction be? Less
than 5 min, because we both have to go to work... Will i see her on
monday? Prob not, but i will go get breakfest there every day til i
do, then i will approach.

What openers will i use? I dont know, i will have to think it through,
any suggestions? i will also listen to Zans material, and get
confidence from him, he always says the right things to get me happy!

Overall, my depression state is breaking through... very slowlly... I
just have to break out of my old habbits and sarge.. There are
beatiful women everywhere, once i decide to get away from my old
anchors, i will see a bright light.. But still, i have that crappy
feeling in me.. Sarging seems to do the trick, even imaginary
sarges : ). So yeah, i will do this and what not... Tonight i will go
out to a bar and sarge, hopefully i will not be depressed and have
some field report. If not, in 3 months... yeah....

- J