From MT:

I'm back on the manhood101.com forum after a hiatus.

In my time of introspection, I've learned that I am scared; especially
of being rejected. In the past, I looked at relationships and
interaction like a chess or strategy game--I wouldn't make a move
unless I was certain of their next move. After close examination, it
turns out I do this in almost all areas of my life; gaming, school,
women, friends, work, etc. I'm scared of failing, of being looked down
upon.

In these past few months however, my relationship with women has
become exponentially better. I am usually nervous when I deal with
women, but I've learned to roll with it, to try and become more
comfortable with that feeling. I recently went out with a girl who is
a customer from where I work...I got her number after talking with her
at the desk for a bit. I also have been going out with a girl I met in
class; after hanging out during our breaks a few times, I took her out
to dinner and paid (and did pretty much everything I wanted with her
back at her place Wink, I really like her). I met a girl at a party
last week, and am going out with her Wednesday (cutie). To top that
off, the girls from last spring that I seemingly scared away have all
contacted me again wanting to go out (dumbass broads Rolling Eyes ).
There are others, but I've boasted enough Razz

I took the time to do my own research, to read my own books, and to
cultivate my own personality. I DO more things now. I enrolled in a
yoga class at school (which I love), and regularly weight-train (I
don't want to die an old cripple). I feel more confident for some
reason. I eat better. I have better posture. I care about my own well-
being, and I think this is certainly projected into the world for
others to see now.

I read The Game, Juggler Method, David X's stuff, RSD, blah blah, you
name it, I read it. I read Mystery Method as well, and though I found
it a brilliant pseudo-scientific analysis, the method is designed to
CATER to women. I think all the people who read THE GAME fail to read
the last few parts where Strauss talks about the problems inherent in
pick-up method. I found them blatantly obvious. This very theme drew
me back to MH101. It's not a method, but a cognitive restructuring of
brain-files. It's training. I thought Strauss effectively killed
pickup method with his last few chapters...

I need to train myself how to have more internal value. I'm constantly
trying to analyze women. I want to pick up on body language, actual
vs. perceived language (what she REALLY means). I tend to seek
reactions. I read in MM that reaction-seeking is a display of lower
value. As I've started to do this less and less, I'm noticing much
better conversation and results. Approaching a single woman is no
problem, but I am DEATHLY afraid of groups of them. I have my reasons;
over the course of my life, bitch-gangs have always somehow managed to
get the best of me. I've even been accused falsely of rape, along with
60%% of other men accused of it.

Toss in my bit of insecurity and over-analysis as well. The girl who I
went home with from class who I really like hasn't answered my phone
call from three days ago. We made out at her place, I pulled her
clothes off, etc. She even told me she wanted to cook me dinner soon.
The next day we had class together. I was hungry, so she bought me
some food, and after we ate I kissed her. She kissed me back...and
held on pretty tight. All of this at school (college). Sounds like
it's going pretty well, right? I keep thinking I came on too strong in
public. I keep thinking I ruined it. I'm being a bitch, and I need to
work on this insecurity the most.

Thanks for reading my fucking book. I'm looking forward to
contributing to this forum again. NFM, you are the fucking man. Your
theory pulls the GUTS out of the other pickup methods out ther