Please allow me to introduce myself: my name is D. Bosola and I am an
Average Frustrated Chump. I am a 28-year-old man who works as a
financial analyst at a fairly reputable investment bank in New York
City. My pedigree is of high quality. I got excellent grades in high
school, scored 1570 on my SAT, and went to a prestigious private
university where I studied Philosophy, not Finance or Mathematics, in
an attempt to make myself utterly unemployable (it didn't work).

Given that I look so good on paper, you might expect me to be the
prototypical alpha male. Sadly, that is not the case, as I am somewhat
lacking in social ability. Consequently, my entire life has been spent
in a state of sexual frustration. During my formative years I spent
most of my time engaged in playing internet chess, participating in
free-form role playing games on AOL, reading books, listening to
Nirvana while weeping uncontrollably, and other largely masturbatory
activities. There was very little intellectual stimulation to be had
from my peers, so I avoided nearly all social situations prior to the
age of 18. Still, during this time I pursued many extracurricular
activities: I achieved expert ranking at chess, became a professional
actor and starred in a Broadway play, took up fencing and qualified for
the Junior Olympics, and other useful solitary endeavors.

However, some interaction with members of the opposite sex was
mandatory, as I was still confined to that terrifying social prison
known as High School. So I attempted to play The Game: but women
terrified me, so my sexual frustration and debilitatingly low self
esteem left me a quivering, useless, sexless nerd for nearly four
years. If you will please permit me to list some of my earlier sexual
experiences, you will see how completely and utterly inept I was (and
still am):

1. First sexual experience. Masturbating in the shower. I had vowed to
myself at an early age, when I had my first erection, that I would
never masturbate, as I thought it would signify a pathetic lack of
control over my animal impulses . But somehow I found myself in the
shower at age 14, lathering myself up and stroking myself curiously. At
the moment of my first orgasm I lost my balance and tumbled headlong
through the shower curtain and onto the bathroom floor.

2. First kiss. Age 15. Stagedoor Manor, summer camp for performing
artists. The rowdy boys I was bunking with were all chasing women
relentlessly. It was a pickup artist's heaven, as half the boys in the
place were gay, but most of the girls were hot and sexually aware. I,
however, was still utterly clueless, having never even kissed a girl.
Purely by chance, I encountered a girl named Julia and having nothing
better to do, struck up a conversation. She told me that she liked to
be called Jelly. Odd. Just before curfew one night she led me to a
shadowy area behind one of the bunks and pulled me close to her. Before
I knew what was happening, her tongue was in my mouth. It felt nice,
and she tasted like strawberries. Perhaps I wasn't a very good kisser
because after that night Jelly lost interest and didn't talk to me
again for the rest of the summer.

3. Second kiss. Stagedoor Manor, one week later. Jelly must have
created a monster. One of my fellow campers was an aspiring
actress/model and daughter of a famous rock star (who shall remain
nameless). She was 17, two years older than I, and had made it known to
all of us that she was quite experienced with the opposite sex, having
slept with three men already. One evening she quietly confided that she
had a crush on me. She treated me to my first cigarette - a Marlboro
light that left me hacking and coughing for half an hour. And then she
offered to give me kissing lessons, since I obviously had no idea what
to do. So we made out for about an hour. We never took it any further -
most likely she would have taken my virginity if I'd had the good sense
to ask.

4. First woman I ever pursued. One of the captains of the cheerleading
squad. Cute, perky Irish girl named Katie. I actually had a crush on
her friend Amber, but Amber was one of the most popular girls in
school, so I didn't have a chance in hell with her. Besides being on
the cheerleading squad, Katie was the president of the drama club - the
one school club I was very passionate about. She was fascinated by my
experience as a professional actor, so she didn't consider me to be the
pathetic loser that I thought I was. I spent a lot of time talking to
her on the phone (although I absolutely hate long phone conversations)
and over time she opened up to me. One night I drove her home from a
drama club party; we idled in her driveway and had a brief awkward
moment before somehow the gap was closed and I found myself kissing
her. She giggled and excused herself, saying her father was starting to
think she had a boyfriend. A few days later, there was a meteor shower
and we went up on the mountaintop to watch it. We lay there in the
grass for about an hour, making out. At that point the hour was getting
late, and it was getting cold outside, so I drove her home. A few days
later, out of the blue, she told me that she had reconsidered and
wanted to end our "thing." She said that she was not happy, and it was
her happiness that counted, so it was over. Although we'd only been
"together" for two weeks, I was heartbroken.

5. First time getting to second base/third base. This was a month after
the Katie fiasco, and I was still down in the dumps. I'd been
spending a lot of time hanging out with my friend Danielle. Danielle
was a really hot girl - half Jewish, half Indian - and she was also
brilliant, so we got along well. In typical AFC fashion, I spent a lot
of time with her, completely oblivious to the fact that she had a huge
crush on me and wanted me to be her first lover. Danielle and I grew to
be very good friends, as we were leaps and bounds ahead of our peers
intellectually, so we bonded over that. I also had a tendency to whine
about my bad experience with Katie, while she would reciprocate by
whining about her annoying geek of a boyfriend (not me). Anyway, one
night we were out late on a Saturday night, parked by the high school
football field, bored out of our minds from driving all over town
endlessly yakking about James Joyce, our mutual disbelief in God, our
idiot teachers and classmates, and other droll subjects. Somehow we
ended up making out in the back seat of my car. Of course, this was old
hat for me, but when the windows of the car started to steam up and the
heavy petting began, it got interesting . First, I got her shirt off. I
needed some help with the bra. But once that was out of the way, I got
to see a woman's breasts for the first time in my life, and let me
tell you: they were magnificent. Once I'd squeezed, licked and sucked
on them for a little while, I went for her zipper. I was shocked when
she didn't resist. Moments later, her jeans were down around her
ankles and my hand was down the front of her panties. She had to guide
me a little but I fingered her very well - she was moaning and
bucking all over the place. And then she came - loudly. I asked her
if she was ok and she said something to the effect of "of course
I'm ok, you idiot, I just had an orgasm." Then she uttered the most
exciting four words I'd ever heard in my life: "Now it's your
turn." Soon my own pants and underwear were down around my ankles and
she was attempting to give me a handjob - but without any lubrication
it was pretty painful and I asked her to stop. Then I pressed my luck
by asking her if she'd suck on it and she politely declined. She
asked me, "Will it bother you to see me with my boyfriend when
we're at school?" I said no. Then I asked her if she was a virgin:
she replied in the affirmative. Taking it one step further, I asked her
if she would want to have sex with me: she again replied affirmatively.
And then I fucked up: I thought she meant RIGHT THEN AND THERE. So when
I moved toward her again she recoiled slightly and rolled her eyes,
muttering "I'm not losing my virginity in the back seat of a
car." Busted. We got dressed and I drove her home around 5 AM. We
were both grounded for the next month. Later I heard that she'd lost
her virginity to that same loser boyfriend. Apparently he had such a
small dick that the condom slipped off halfway through the act and she
ended up getting pregnant. Whoops.

6. Most humiliating sexual experience. Senior year of high school. I
developed a crush on this cute little Asian girl named Akiko. She was
15, half-Japanese, and not only did she look stunningly hot in a short
skirt and pigtails, but she was also quite possibly the coolest girl
I'd ever met in my life. We shared the same liberal politics and
social ideas: we both loved to read and write poetry, and were into the
same music. In short, she was my dream girl. She lived in a big house
with just her mom and her mom's boyfriend; her mom was incredibly
liberal and gave her the entire basement as a bedroom. There was a door
leading to the outside from the basement, so Akiko could entertain
visitors at all hours of the night and her mom would be none the wiser
(not that her mom really cared). One evening we were hanging out in her
bedroom watching a movie - "Leaving Las Vegas" - and during one
of the particularly sexy scenes, I found her snuggling up against me to
keep warm. Not one to let an opportunity pass me by, I asked if I could
kiss her. I distinctly recall her saying, "If you want to fool
around, I think I would be into it." That was all the invitation I
needed, and soon we were making out pretty heavily on her couch. She
started grinding against me, giving me a huge erection. I got her
pajama bottoms off and slipped down her silk (!) panties. She had just
a small tuft of pubic hair down there, which I thought was incredibly
hot. So I managed to get a finger into her, and discovered that she was
VERY tight- ten times tighter than Danielle had been. She started
getting wetter and breathing more heavily, and the more I fingered her,
the hornier I was getting underneath my jeans. Things kept getting
hotter and more frantic until the excitement built to a sudden and
unexpected climax. Poof. I came in my pants. She was completely
oblivious to what had happened, but I was mortified. Obviously we could
not continue fooling around because she would eventually discover that
I'd soiled myself. So I stopped fingering her. She got her pajamas
back on and we watched the rest of the movie in awkward silence. Then I
went home.

7. No other notable events occurred until I got to college. I had my
first experiences with alcohol and soft drugs, but I wasn't a natural
party animal, so I didn't get too deeply into that lifestyle. I
somehow managed to hook up with a girl or two, but usually ended in the
same awkward heavy petting and dry humping I'd done in high school. I
never had the balls to try to fuck a girl, and they never volunteered
to fuck me, so I basically struck out constantly during my entire
freshman year.

8. First attempt at sex: End of freshman year, age 19 -- I visited a
high school friend at his college and met a girl, my age, also a
bookworm, who was even more socially inept than I was. We hit it off
and started corresponding by email and IM. One weekend she took the
train into the city to stay with me. That night was the first time
I'd ever lay naked in bed with a girl. She gave me my first
successful handjob, and I fingered her a little. We had fun, so she
came back a few weeks later. This time we made a pact - we were both
sick of being virgins, and we were going to have sex. I bought a huge
box of condoms and I planned on using every one of them. She even
brought some of her own. After a lot of foreplay, I was good and hard
and ready to go. So I slipped on the condom, got between her legs and
tried pushing myself into her...but it wouldn't go in. I tried a more
upward angle but it didn't go. I tried tilting forward a little bit,
but it still wouldn't go. So I fingered her again and tried getting
my dick in where my fingers had been, but it kept bumping up against
something and she kept yelping in pain and it was getting very awkward
so I soon lost my erection and gave up. We slept together that night
and when I woke up beside her, her naked body looked so inviting that I
had to try again. But I met with the same result: IT JUST WOULDN'T GO
IN. This was very embarrassing to me because it was the first time in
my life that I was with a girl who was basically BEGGING me to have sex
with her and I had no idea how to go about doing it.

9. First girlfriend: End of sophomore year, I met a girl who turned my
whole life around. Let's call her Dakota. She was a friend of my
roommate's girlfriend who visited one weekend and instantly took a
liking to my sweet and shy personality. We didn't get together on her
first visit, but after she went back to her school, we kept
corresponding by email and IM. A couple months later she finally came
back. Luckily for me, she'd been with a guy before, so she knew what
she was doing. On the first night I got my first blowjob. Wow. She even
swallowed (although I didn't realize what a big deal this was at the
time). The next night, as soon as my roommate and his girlfriend had
vacated the room, I submitted to her completely. I stuttered a bit and
told her, flat out, that I was a virgin. Then I gave her permission to
do whatever she wanted with me. She obliged by fucking my brains out. I
liked it. A lot. We had sex approximately 10 more times over the course
of the next two days, then she went home. The next month, I went to
visit her and we set what I think is my personal record (10 times in 24
hours). And just like that, out of the blue, I found myself with a
serious girlfriend. We kept it up long distance for a little under a
year, then she transferred schools and moved to be closer to me. After
that, we remained a couple through graduation and into early adulthood.
For three years after graduation, we lived together, and it was truly
awesome. She was the perfect woman for me, although she mothered me a
bit too much. It was as if we were married. She would clean up my
messes, do the laundry, keep my appointments written down, remind me to
pay the bills and take my medication, etc. That, and she wanted sex
EVERY NIGHT before going to sleep.

I loved Dakota very deeply and didn't really think I could get on
without her, so we stayed together for SIX YEARS. During that time, I
was very curious about what it would be like to be with another woman
- but I never even thought about cheating on my girlfriend. We were
very happy together, and it wasn't even necessary to get married, or
so I thought. She'd always said that marriage wasn't that important
to her. I guess she was lying about that, because one night, with the
help of her best friend, she decided she'd had enough. I'd waited
so long to ask her to marry me that I had missed my chance. It must
have taken a lot of courage on her part: out of the blue, she told me
she was leaving me. And then she left. Three months later, she was
engaged to some other guy.

Ouch.

So that was my first love, and my first heartbreak. Since Dakota left
me (in 2004) I've dated - and slept with- four other girls.
That's it.

I apologize for recounting my entire sexual history. That wasn't my
intention when I first began this post. But now that I've told you
about my numerous conquests (5), you might be thinking, "what's the
problem? He knows how to get laid. He's pretty confident of his
abilities already."

Well, clearly I'm not, or I wouldn't be posting here. Although
I've managed to be with 5 girls in the course of my 28 years, I feel
that it would have been quite a few more if I had half a clue how to
approach and interact with women. That is what brought me here.

Just a little while ago, I discovered the seduction community. A friend
of mine, who fancies himself an amateur PUA, recommended "The Game"
by Neil Strauss. I began reading it and it immediately opened my eyes
to the enormous potential I have. Let's face it: I'm a very
attractive guy, and a trained actor. When I bring my A game and am
persistent, I truly believe I can have any woman I want. My problem is
that this confidence evaporates when I actually find myself talking to
a hot girl - I fail to act the part of the alpha male and become my
old shy, scared self. And then the girl loses interest, because she's
usually looking for a more aggressive, confident guy.

The bottom line: if I weren't so scared of being rejected and
humiliated by women, if I could just project more confidence and learn
a few choice skills, there is no doubt in my mind that I would become a
veritable pussy magnet - a stone ladykiller. There is a master pickup
artist lurking within me. He needs to be let out. But I am going to
need some guidance. Who is willing to help me?

I've already learned the absolute basics of this game. I'm familiar
with most of the acronyms and jargon: PUA, AFC, HB, set, pivot, neg,
kino, LMR, IOI, et cetera, blah blah blah. Shit, I'm a chess player.
Strategy, tactics, and opening theory all come naturally to me. I can
learn them with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. What
I am really lacking is practice.

In order to practice, I need to be someone's apprentice wingman, and
that someone has to have a very strong game. And I mean Grandmaster
strong. Mystery strong. Style strong.

Let me make this abundantly clear: I only want to learn from the best.

You will find that I learn fast. VERY fast.

So if you live around New York, and you've got the skills, consider
taking me under your wing. Perhaps we can get together for lunch
sometime and talk about pickup and women in general. Then you'll see
how dead serious I am about learning how to play this game.

Hope to hear from you soon. Until then, I'll be lurking...

Sincerely yours,
D. Bosola