Re: 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

>> The list is from:someshitblog

>> 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

>> 1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to
>> popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you
>> decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I
>> suggest you figure it out.

>> 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the
>> time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while
>> you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

>> 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you
>> off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing
>> and you're all wound up.

>> 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex
>> makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men
>> pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding
>> it over his head, it's not his fault.

>> 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is
>> uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but
>> when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should
>> suffice.

>> 6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes,
>> that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles
>> all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the
>> time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for
>> you.

>> 7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down
>> our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

>> 8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that
>> shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

>> 9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of
>> stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't
>> doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given
>> you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

>> 10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

>> 11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's
>> about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the
>> way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

>> 12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you
>> want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

>> 13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts.
>> Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush,
>> great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But
>> for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any
>> time down there.

>> 14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you
>> have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha.
>> That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

>> 15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it.
>> Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I
>> suggest you get some kneepads.

>> 16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make.
>> Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while
>> you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked
>> you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67%% of women
>> would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the
>> steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

>> 17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist
>> that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your
>> bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your
>> responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you
>> shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

>> 18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little
>> fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you
>> shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he
>> calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that
>> he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

>> 19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes
>> sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

>> 20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is
>> a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20
>> minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed
>> against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

>> 21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable
>> before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke
>> you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation,
>> don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your
>> butt.

>> 22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I
>> know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a
>> brother out.

>> 23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the
>> man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the
>> covers, either.

>> 24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all
>> the work.

>> 25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than
>> women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a
>> little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead
>> and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

>> 26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's
>> your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do
>> something to make his job easier.

>> 27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching
>> you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show
>> him how you like it.

>> 28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding
>> that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't.
>> Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when
>> he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think
>> was going to happen?

>> 29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking
>> deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

>> 30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on
>> all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility
>> to start things all the time.

>> 31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men
>> have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that
>> are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by
>> concentrating solely on his penis.

>> 32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick
>> them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore
>> them.

>> 33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who
>> gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want
>> to deal with the mess.

>> 34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when
>> he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and
>> enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

>> 35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be
>> the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So
>> doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at
>> it later and giggle at the memory.

>> 36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not
>> making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange
>> faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

>> 37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's
>> hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a
>> bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget
>> or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

>> 38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American
>> dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick
>> interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so
>> much. Know the difference).

>> 39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton
>> mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

>> 40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back.
>> Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

>> 41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will
>> happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant
>> jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

>> 42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so
>> he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

>> 43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he
>> thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not
>> working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of
>> unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

>> 44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is
>> more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and
>> things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little
>> ridiculous of you.

>> 45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he
>> has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo
>> says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

>> 46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things
>> because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made
>> by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern.
>> They'll wash.

>> 47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with
>> makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that
>> later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with
>> acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

>> 48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But
>> changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the
>> washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have
>> possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

>> 49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not
>> an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably ...

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