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Author: Ann BurlinghamAnn Burlingham Date: May 31, 2008 18:29
Is it spring? I find I'm feeling very flirtatious with people I
actually see lately. Hey, I love to flirt, and I haven't really had
the energy in the last few years, so it's nice to have it back, but I
feel rusty, or new questions crop up. I wonderd if they did for
others, too.
One, does flirting feel different when people know you're poly? I'm in
pretty much a monogamous mode, and have almost always been, so I'm not
sure, except for the rustiness, why it's coming up as a question now,
but do you see a difference in a flirt object when they know you're
polyamorous versus if they think/know you're monogamous? (I should
probably say I mostly see flirting as an end in itself.) Does your
behavior change depending on whether the other person is poly or
monogamous? Do you feel more of a need to make sure they know it's
"just flirting" if they're theoretically available (poly, or single,
or...) than not?
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Author: LaneLane Date: May 31, 2008 19:14
On May 31, 12:29 pm, Ann Burlingham panix.com> wrote:> Is it spring? I find I'm feeling very flirtatious with people I
> actually see lately. Hey, I love to flirt, and I haven't really had
> the energy in the last few years, so it's nice to have it back, but I
> feel rusty, or new questions crop up. I wonderd if they did for
> others, too.
>
> One, does flirting feel different when people know you're poly? I'm in
> pretty much a monogamous mode, and have almost always been, so I'm not
> sure, except for the rustiness, why it's coming up as a question now,
> but do you see a difference in a flirt object when they know you're
> polyamorous versus if they think/know you're monogamous? (I should
> probably say I mostly see flirting as an end in itself.) Does your
> behavior change depending...
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Author: Serene VannoySerene Vannoy Date: Jun 1, 2008 02:10
[crosspost trimmed]
Ann Burlingham wrote:
> Is it spring?
For a little bit yet. Me, I'm still in a bit of a wintry mood.
> I find I'm feeling very flirtatious with people I
> actually see lately. Hey, I love to flirt, and I haven't really had
> the energy in the last few years, so it's nice to have it back, but I
> feel rusty, or new questions crop up. I wonderd if they did for
> others, too.
>
> One, does flirting feel different when people know you're poly?
I don't know. Most everyone knows I'm poly.
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Author: Sergei NesmeyanovSergei Nesmeyanov Date: Jun 1, 2008 05:50
On May 31, 7:10 pm, Serene Vannoy serenepages.org> wrote:
> I've been burned by what I call "flirting without intent", so I'm more
> careful about this than I used to be...
This has always been one of my blind spots.
We had a famly get together a few years ago, and while out and about
with my two older sisters we stopped for some lunch at a local (small
Midwestern college town) diner. The waitress came over to take our
order, we made some small talk and pleasantries, and off she went to
give our order to the kitchen.
No sooner was that waitress out of ear shot when both of my sisters
laid into me, "You are such a flirt!"
'scuse me? i was just ordering lunch.
No. You were flirting with that waitress. Admit It!
Sorry. Not a clue. Just being pleasant, is all.
I've had more than one ex-wife tell me the same thing...
Whats' funny is, I've been out with male friends, and out of the blue
I'll get this, "Wow, that woman was flirting with you. Why are you
ignoring her?"
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Author: ElissaAnnElissaAnn Date: Jun 1, 2008 15:49
>I never really feel the need to be overt that my flirting is just
>that. I think most people know that and, well, to be honest, if my
>flirting led to a mutual interest in more, then there's no boundary to
>defend. I am pretty careful, though, to reassure flirtees that their
>own boundaries are safe with me.
How do you do that?
Elissa, who has run into that issue in the past
--
"Welcome to heaven; here's your harp and tuning key."
"Welcome to hell; here's your harp."
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Author: Dan AbelDan Abel Date: Jun 1, 2008 21:57
> On May 31, 7:10 pm, Serene Vannoy serenepages.org> wrote:
> >> I've been burned by what I call "flirting without intent", so I'm more
>> careful about this than I used to be...
>
> This has...
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Author: Ann BurlinghamAnn Burlingham Date: Jun 1, 2008 23:46
Dan Abel sonic.net> writes:
> There are a lot of "blind" people on this newsgroup, all desperate to
> "see". Perhaps that's why I'm lurking here. I'm certainly one of them.
> I just have no clue about those things that others see as obvious. I
> talk to men, I talk to women, and I talk to children. In no case am I
> flirting. Well, then, how does it happen? Where does it cross over
> between "flirting" and "talking"?
My partner, when I told them I felt like my flirt-engine was revving
up again "it's been *quiet*?"
Theorized in high school: a friend of mine, I decided, flirted at some
level with *everyone*. It became charm at that point. (What I observed
her doing was talking to each person as if they were, at that moment,
the most important and intersting person she knew. It was genuine; if
it had been directed at only some people, it would have been flirting,
but at all, it became charm.)
http://www.livescience.com/health/080320-clueless-guys.html
Clueless Guys Can't Read Women
By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer
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Author: umarumar Date: Jun 2, 2008 03:59
Ann Burlingham panix.com> writes:
>Clueless Guys Can't Read Women
I doubt the anatomical peculiarities of the people involved have
much to do with it; it my experience individuals have different
styles of communication, and until you know someone well it's
not aways easy to understand him or her.
Plenty of communications go awry in business, sometimes to the
detriment of all involved.
umar
--
The destination of this brain is... Traintree!
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Author: Ann BurlinghamAnn Burlingham Date: Jun 2, 2008 05:40
> Ann Burlingham panix.com> writes:
> >>Clueless Guys Can't Read Women
>
> I doubt the anatomical peculiarities
Sex and gender are "anatomical peculiarities?"
> of the people involved have
> much to do with it; it my experience individuals have different
> styles of communication, and until you know someone well it's
> not aways easy to understand him or her.
I think it's an intersting area of study.
--
What use was it having all that money if you could never sit still
or just watch your cattle eating grass?
- Alexander McCall Smith, _The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency_
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Author: Ruth LawrenceRuth Lawrence Date: Jun 2, 2008 08:16
"Ann Burlingham" panix.com> wrote in message
news:uiqws33np.fsf@panix.com...>> Ann Burlingham panix.com> writes:
>>>>>Clueless Guys Can't Read Women
>>
>> I doubt the anatomical peculiarities
>
> Sex and gender are "anatomical peculiarities?"
>
>> of the people involved have
>> much to do with it; it my experience individuals have different
>> styles of communication, and until you know someone well it's
>> not aways easy to understand him or her.
>
> I think it's an intersting area of study.
:::nods:::
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