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Author: AquaAqua Date: May 15, 2008 15:01
> Anyway, we all agreed last night that the three of us are in love with
> each other in different ways and there’s nowt up with that. We also
> agreed that all three of us are open to the possibilities of a non-
> conventional (in society’s eyes) relationship. We’ve been functioning
> as a triad for such a long time now that in many areas the transition
> will be easy, in most things we do in life it’s ‘K’, my wife and me
> together. In other respects because there’s such deep feelings
> between all of us we’re all concerned about hurting each other so
> we’re going to be taking things very carefully and slowly and as the
> hinge in this relationship I realise that it’s my responsibility to
> makes sure neither of these ladies I care about is hurt or neglected.
Generally, you seem to be doing just as well as you could be, from a
starting position which is far more promising than many polyamorous
situations. I'm not sure why you think you're the hinge, though. Well,
you're the sexual hinge based on what you've told us. But if you've got
a comfortably functioning triad at the friendship level, I don't think
you're the hinge in general.
Aqua
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Author: philip_bordleyphilip_bordley Date: May 15, 2008 16:16
On May 15, 2:01 pm, Aqua internode.on.net> wrote:>> Anyway, we all agreed last night that the three of us are in love with
>> each other in different ways and there’s nowt up with that. We also
>> agreed that all three of us are open to the possibilities of a non-
>> conventional (in society’s eyes) relationship. We’ve been functioning
>> as a triad for such a long time now that in many areas the transition
>> will be easy, in most things we do in life it’s ‘K’, my wife and me
>> together. In other respects because there’s such deep feelings
>> between all of us we’re all concerned about hurting each other so
>> we’re going to be taking things very carefully and slowly and as the
>> hinge in this relationship I realise that it’s my responsibility to
>> makes sure neither of these ladies I care about is hurt or neglected.
>
> Generally, you seem to be doing just as well as you could be, from a
> starting position which is far more promising than many polyamorous
> situations. I'm not sure why you think you're the hinge, though. Well,
> you're the sexual hinge based on what you've told us. But if you've got
> a comfortably functioning triad at the friendship level, I don't think
> you're the hinge in general. ...
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Author: bright urulokibright uruloki Date: May 15, 2008 16:24
Orlando Enrique Fiol wrote:
>> I identify as genderqueer - I think largely because at times and places,
>> it's not safe for me to be a woman. Because I must be one of the boys in
>> order to get anywhere. I'm not brilliant enough to get anywhere if they
>> notice I have breasts.
>
> Has this actually happened to you or do you merely believe it?
Well, of course it has! Sexual harassment at work isn't fun and games.
>
>> My anatomy shouldn't matter when it's my thoughts
>> on display; yet, it does, sadly.
>
> Says who?
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Author: Aahz MaruchAahz Maruch Date: May 15, 2008 16:26
>On May 15, 2:01 pm, Aqua internode.on.net> wrote:>>
>> Generally, you seem to be doing just as well as you could be, from a
>> starting position which is far more promising than many polyamorous
>> situations. I'm not sure why you think you're the hinge, though. Well,
>> you're the sexual hinge based on what you've told us. But if you've got
>> a comfortably functioning triad at the friendship level, I don't think
>> you're the hinge in general.
>
>What I probably mean is if we I hope for this to work in these early
>days when everyone is so unsure it's my responsibility to make sure
>that both of them know how much they are loved and appreciated and to
>reassure them...
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Author: Blunt and OpaqueBlunt and Opaque Date: May 15, 2008 16:54
You know, Orlando, you should really shut the fuck up in this part of
the conversation. You are prime offender in this area, and an
excellent example of why women choose to go under the radar online.
--
Piglet
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Author: Blunt and OpaqueBlunt and Opaque Date: May 15, 2008 16:56
bright uruloki gmail.com>, in article <7sydncncM4sK2rHVnZ2dnUVZ_oLinZ2d@posted.internode>, dixit:>Orlando Enrique Fiol wrote:
>>> I identify as genderqueer - I think largely because at times and places,
>>> it's not safe for me to be a woman. Because I must be one of the boys in
>>> order to get anywhere. I'm not brilliant enough to get anywhere if they
>>> notice I have breasts.
>> Has this actually happened to you or do you merely believe it?
>Well, of course it has! Sexual harassment at work isn't fun and games.
By the way, bright urulaki, should Orlando now start pestering you in
e-mail, I just want you to know that it's not you. He does this to
everyone who comes out as female on this group.
--
Piglet
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Author: Blunt and OpaqueBlunt and Opaque Date: May 15, 2008 16:57
>Anyway, we all agreed last night that the three of us are in love with
>each other in different ways and there
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Author: SereneSerene Date: May 15, 2008 17:16
> I don’t know what I’m really looking for in this, my first posting to
> this group.
Welcome! You've gotten some pretty good advice already. I was away
for a couple days and I am catching up on the group, so forgive my
late contribution.
>
> Basically I’m a forty year old male (UK based) and after eighteen
> years of being faithful to my wife in thought (most of the time) and
> deed (all of the time), have ended up with a situation which...
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Author: philip_bordleyphilip_bordley Date: May 15, 2008 17:19
Hi Aahz,
Yes they are and neither of them would give anything less than
everything for the other two. It's just that despite her level
headedness there are going to be insecurities in my wife's mind about
the situation (even if she doesn't vocalise them) and I know 'K' is
worried that she's mangling a friendship that is very important to her
and still has concerns that she's betrayed my wife with her feelings
for me...
I intend to give both of them everything I can and I don't expect
either of them to be giving anything less...this is new ground for all
three of us and I love them both to bits...I intend to make damn sure
they know they're loved...
Phil
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Author: SereneSerene Date: May 15, 2008 18:24
> Hi Aahz,
>
> Yes they are
Hi, Philip. Could you please quote a little of what you're
responding to, as I did above? That way, anyone who hasn't seen
Aahz's post yet, for example, can know what you're saying "Yes they
are" to.
Thanks!
Serene
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